Subject: Well, you are correct...
Author:
Posted on: 2020-03-07 14:42:50 UTC

...in that moonlight itself isn't what triggers the werewolf transformation. However! It is not the tidal cycle that causes it, either.

Think about it. The werewolf transformation is involuntary, right? And werewolves in their transformed state wouldn't have enough of their wits about them to even flip a switch, let alone keep themselves from attacking humans in the daytime to maintain the Masquerade. So if werewolf transformations were really caused by the tidal cycle, don't you think we'd know by now?

But if it isn't caused by moonlight itself or the tidal cycle, then there must be something else that's triggering the transformation every full moon. But that's not a possibility, because there is no one thing that can regularly be counted on to happen every full moon, besides the... full moon... coming out...

Hol up, take a step back, rewind. What if it isn't the moonlight itself that triggers the transformation, but something in the moonlight? Some new form of radiation it's being doped with, or some magic cosmic rays being sent down from the- EUREKA!

Maybe the werewolf transformation is caused by the Men on the Moon! Using their highly advanced lunar radiation technology, they dope our moonlight with lunons (those are the force carriers for the lunar force, by the way) and send it down to the Earth, without anyone suspecting! On normal nights, there aren't enough lunons to trigger a transformation, although werewolves may find themselves craving increasingly undercooked meat as the moon waxes. However, on the night of a full moon, there is a very large amount of lunons, well above the threshold, because these aliens know that this is the perfect opportunity to hit us with their waves. It's this overly-high dose of lunons that triggers the werewolf transformation!

But not only that. If lunons are strong enough to trigger the expression of a genetic mutation, then by the Phlebotinum Causality Law, they must be the ones that caused the mutation int e first place. Because the fact is, every time there's a supermoon, NASA's secret lunon detectors measure record-high levels of lunons (causing some serious trouble for the werewolf community). And those record-high levels of lunons are what cause new werewolves to be born!

But why? Why are the Men on the Moon doing this? Are they trying to make furries/wolfgirls/what-have-you real? Are they just testing out their technology so when the time comes, they can mutate us all into Men on the Moon and invade our planet? Are they just doing this because they can?!?!

But we will never know. We will never know until we overthrow the American government and establish Communism in this land! A Communist government, one TRULY run and owned by the people, wouldn't have anything to hide from its citizens. Then we'd finally get some public access to all those secret documents we failed to get out of Area 51 depicting the Men on the Moon threat. It's time, people, for this land to undergo a revolution! Then the workers will take over, and the Secr3t Lizardment Illuminati will be broken forever! VIVA LA REVOLUCION!

And then, after that, we can take our true blue American military right up to that moon and shoot those aliens in the face. Cause those are OUR citizens those ILLEGAL ALIENS are corrupting with their secret alien technology, turning them into dirty, filthy werewolves. And I will not rest until the Lunar threat to American government, to American freedom and America democracy, is wiped off the face of the Earth. So I say, NASA, let's go back to the moon and get those aliens for good.

– TRUTHSEEKER, signing off

Reply Return to messages