Subject: *whistles perfectly normally. Or maybe not. You can't hear it, so who knows?* (nm)
Author:
Posted on: 2020-04-05 06:37:26 UTC
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An April fools’ thread by
on 2020-03-31 11:21:19 UTC
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Yes, I know that it’s technically not the first of April yet, but still I have actually wanted to make this thread. It is to prevent the board from being cluttered with April fools jokes by everyone else( even though they can simply save space by replying to someone’s April Fools’ thread).
Do I happen to know how April Fools work on the board? No, so I guess that I am a fool.
:p
~SomeRandomPersonAccount
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What's this? by
on 2020-04-01 21:35:56 UTC
Permission request
Beta request
RP
Introduction
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It looks strangely familiar. And by 'looks', I mean 'doesn't look'. Have you seen the detail on this place?
{Obviously. So much detail!}
[[You're both idiots. There's nothing here. Not again! Quick, write us in some--]]
Hey, there's some writing over there. It says...PPC Posting Board? Wait, I think I have been here!
{Where's a link when you need one?}
Maybe the author just needs some direction. Let's see, let's see...this was two years ago, right?
[[Definitely 2018. March, though, I think.]]
{Great! So that means--eeek! What was that?}
[[Don't be such a scaredy-cat, it's just a little link.]]
Hey, wasn't this place kind of different back then? It seems...smoother.
[[I think there are backlogs now. Giant ones.]
Ooh, I see tags. And is that Markdown I detect?
{Don't touch the tags! What if they change us?}
[[Tags can't change you.]]
They look like fun. I wonder what happens if I click...this one?
[[RP? Yeah, that makes sense. I'm sure we could be open to some roleplay.]]
I'm always open to roleplay! Except when I'm not. Ooh, Introduction!
{We were here in 2018, though. This is a stupid idea.}
New place, new people, new introduction! I'm clicking it.
[[Just don't do Serious business. This definitely isn't that.]]
{I think we should do Writing.}
[[Okay, I guess this counts as writing.]]
Writing it i--whoops.
{Whoops?}
[[Oh God, you clicked Permission request.]]
{Why would you click Permission request??}
My hand slipped! It isn't easy making this all happen while leaning out of a text box, you know!
{Fix it! Fix it!}
...
[[...Beta request. You hit Beta request.]]
I told you this was hard! Besides, obviously the author's going to want to know if any of this sounds really off or could be improved. She doesn't write me much, does...she...hey, I remember this one! I was going to find her some chimichangas! I think.
{This was a baaaad idea.}
[[I don't know about that, but it's a mess.]]
Hey, if you're so clever, you try ticking the right boxes!
[[...]]
{...}
[[...]]
{...it helps if you grow hands.}
[[Shut up.]]
Aaaand, live from New York, it's Saturday Night! Jazzy outro! Classic intro! Monologue!
[[This is obviously a dialogue. Trialogue. Something.]]
Shh, I'm trying to think of a musical guest. Who do I know who's in a band?
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How do I not know that this isn’t related to a Fortnite promotion? (nm) by
on 2020-04-05 02:39:03 UTC
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You don't not not know that. (nm) by
on 2020-04-05 06:33:02 UTC
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*whistles perfectly normally. Or maybe not. You can't hear it, so who knows?* (nm) by
on 2020-04-05 06:37:26 UTC
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There's a new LockPickingLawyer by
on 2020-04-01 18:45:36 UTC
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on getting into his ex-girlfriend's back door. It is, in fact, a perfectly innocent video about picking a door open, but also ruining the joke
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Two amazing people were born today, and I wrote a thing for them. by
on 2020-04-01 14:56:52 UTC
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Don't read any further than this. Turn away from the screen, or bad things will happen.
Guess what, if you're already at this point, then too bad. You should not have continued reading after the first sentence. After all, I did say "Don't read any further than this."
Well, it's too late anyway. So here you go, I guess.
~ ~ ~
“There’s a customer out here looking for Instant Darkness Powder, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley,” Verity poked her head around the curtain and said.
Fred and George shifted their attention momentarily from the experiment they were conducting to their magenta-robed employee. That one second of not focusing made the cauldron they were looking after explode. Verity flinched back a little. It was a big improvement from what she did about a month ago, when she saw her first explosion at the Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. They had to forcibly silence her with magic so she wouldn’t scare away all the customers.
“Ow,” Fred muttered as he brandished his wand, making the smoking substance on his face disappear. George did the same.
“Right,” George said after he vanished the melting cauldron with a wave of his wand. “Instant Darkness Powder, is it?”
“Yes, Mr. Weasley. Although I am not entirely sure you should be the one to…” Verity eyed Fred and George’s singed hair warily.
“Don’t worry about it,” Fred ran his fingers through his hair absentmindedly, “It fits with the theme.”
“That’s right,” George grinned at the young witch, “Happy April Fool’s, Verity.” he winked.
Merlin’s beard, it was April Fool’s! She had forgotten! And that wink… Oh no, that couldn’t be good.
Verity’s looked down at herself. Her robe looked the same. Her hands and arms looked the same. Her legs and feet looked the same. She took off her robe and examined the back. It was perfectly intact. What could be wrong?
Wait…
Verity ran as fast as she could to the nearest mirror. Along the way, she could hear snickers from the customers as they looked at her. Uh oh. This was bad.
The mirror confirmed that fact mercilessly. Her eyes widened in terror as she saw what had been done to her neck and her face. The skin there had been turned into this weird mixture of light yellow and white, so it looked like it was made of smashed eggs. Just because she said she liked eggs that one time more than a week ago.
But what truly made her mad was what had been done to her hair. It should be noted that her short, spiky, light blonde hair was her proudest physical feature. It was her trademark. It made her stand out. Now, it was sloppy and stuck to her scalp with no intention of spiking up again anytime soon, and it was dyed a shade of green that looked like, of all things, spinach. Yes, it still made her stand out, but she thought she would rather not at the moment.
Verity stood still for a long while in front of the mirror with her mouth hanging open. Then she resolutely turned around and screamed.
Meanwhile, the culprits were directing their trademark grins at a girl standing before them.
“Was it you who asked for Instant Darkness Powder?” Fred asked.
“Yes,” the girl averted her eyes and smiled nervously.
“Very good choice if you are in need of a quick getaway,” George said in an approving tone, “Over here.”
“Hey, you look the right age to be in school,” Fred looked her over, “We are most honored that you would skip…”
“No no no, I didn’t skip school,” the girl sighed, “this is going to be awkward, but… just pretend I’m a squib, okay? I mean, it’s a fine role to play. I am familiar with the wizarding world, but I cannot cast magic. You know what, I’m a squib. There.”
“Oh, well,” Fred scratched his head awkwardly, “Still, you can have some fun, right?”
“You’re in luck. This place is full of fun stuff. Oh, we’re here,” George said, taking an evil-looking package from a shelf and handing it to the girl. She handed him a few coins in return.
“Thanks,” she said, holding the package close. She looked up for a split second before directing her eyes at the ground again. If she had the physical ability to blush, she would have. Instead, she just muttered, “Happy birthday, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Weasley.” Then she fled from the shop, but not before casting a pained glance at the twins. It was meant to be directed towards Fred, but since she honestly couldn’t tell them apart, it was directed at both of them instead.
After she was gone, George turned to look at Fred.
“Well, that was strange,” he remarked, “How did she know it’s our birthday?”
Fred shrugged. “I had almost forgotten myself. But since she so kindly reminded us, we should hold a celebration, shouldn’t we, Forge?”
“That is a magnificent idea, Gred. But first, let’s check on Verity,”
The word “Verity” was barely heard over the long scream from the approximate position of the mirror.
“Yes, let’s check on Verity.”
~ ~ ~
I told you something bad would happen. And it did.
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Funny joke day by
on 2020-04-01 13:02:57 UTC
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It's April Fool's Day! That means it's time to give Blanca a face! (For reference, this is an Animal Crossing character who doesn't have a face, for the purpose of being given a face by the player.)
Just open up your favorite image editor and draw away. Even if your art skills aren't great, I'm sure that Blanca would appreciate it.
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I’m making a bounty for the Nameless Admin by
on 2020-04-01 10:38:46 UTC
Edited
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Essentially, I want someone to help me s̶̛̫͔̻̟̱͍̥̩̮̄͒̑̾̊̈́͛̾̌̍̊a̴̡̛͉̞̱̮͎̘̞̮͉̹͙͕̮̜̩̋͌̔̽̋͋̍̈́͒̓͂̆̈̅̚͝ÿ̸̡̺͔̟̱̗̥̩̞̼̠̣͌̊̌̐̑̏͘ͅ h̸̯͕͕̬͍͓̖̲͕͎̦͔̞̫͗ớ̶̛͚̳̭̦̮̲̪̑́̓̓͐́̾̇̓́͂̔̎̒̽̈́w̴̨̢͉̬̳̖͙̦̮̻͕̙̟̦̯̯̜̹̽̃̀͘͠͝ͅ ȧ̷̯̱̰͐͌̈̆̓͛͊͗̈͘̚̕͜͝w̵̥̟̗̄̆̏͒͋̐͌͑͐̏͐̾̌͜ȩ̴̨̡̛͈̭̻̬͙͖̠̳̝̹̘̳̾̔̀̾̀͆̓͌̅̽͐̃̆͜͠͝ş̶̧̡͙͚̼̳̜͈͔̥͖̳͙̤͓̮͜͠ơ̵̧̨̧̮͚̥̮͈̝̰̦̰̪̻͍͉̟̭͌̃͐͊̃͑̀̅͋͐̌̓͊̀̚͜ḿ̷̨̡̧͇̠̘̳̳ͅẹ̶̜̏̊̎͐̊̄͐̓͒͊̽͆̉̔ the Nameless Admin ḯ̷̥̜͇̯͖͎͙̞͓̆́̀͜s̷̻̗͙̝̗̲̄͋̀̄̍̓̈́̔͛̎̑̄̕͜. I am very willing to pay anyone who p̷̩̲͓͍̖̞̗̃̀̑̽͝͝r̷̦̊͌̒͊̊a̸̤̙̙̼̥̟͒͛̑̍́̈̈́͘͜i̷̫̍̋s̶̺̠̖̦͖̗̈̂́̚ͅe̶̡̛̯͓̙͛͊̀̾ṡ̵̖͆ him/her, by giving you ą̷̛͍͍̝̫̭͈̰́͆͗͌̽̚l̷̺̤͍̙̣̄͒͝͝l̸̘̠̗̫̼̜̩͊̃͌͜͝ ̴̜͇̣̳̞̃̅͠m̷̨̡̧͖̲͊̎͆̓̃͗͜ͅy̶͎̺͗̇̍̈́͌ ̵̨̖̫͚̟̅̍̇͊͜ͅe̷̝͉͔̣̻̺͐̆̇́ͅv̶̡͇̻̼͉͙̞̀̋e̴͕̦͙̣͍̻͛͋̿̉͒r̴̘̙̊̌͊͂̐͆ÿ̴̢̨̞͓̙̮͆̅̾̍̕t̴̮̤͙̅̾̐́̀͒̚͠h̶̲̠̣͂̃̕i̷̲̲̣̪̳͍͛̈́̓n̵̩͌̍g̴̯̙͆̎̈̅͌̈́̊̕ as payment. There is no due date, so don’t worry if the Nameless Admin becomes missing o̵̫͉̖͙̩̙̣̺̊ŗ̵̖̱͈̙̯̱̌̽ ̵̯̱̞̝͓̝̓͋͌̚e̶̞̦͚̯͍͕̍͑͑̈͜ͅv̵̮̦̫̝̭̋̎͛͋̂̓̕͘ȅ̵͈̭̭̙̦̘͒̆̔̉̕͝n̸̨̢͎̝͖̲̠̏̓͘ ̷̧̨͔͉̹̹͒̋͊̚͝ͅa̵͉̮͙̙͔̳̅̅́͘͜w̵̢̯̤̬̻͔͝ͅe̸͜͠s̷̢̩̼̘̯̝̅̀̌̄̀͌͘͝o̴̰̓̑͋̈̍͂͛̕m̶̧̝̿̐͆̀̏́͋͜e̷̲͍̮͓̹͉̙͛ȑ̵͕.
Happy hunting and April fools! À̶̢͓̤̤͇͍̿̃͂͘̚ͅl̸̖͐̐̑̈́̈́͘s̵̗̯̲̑̉o̵̧̧̧̻͍̼̮̎͊̈́̍̒̃̚͘ͅ ̸̨̢̛̥̺̮̻̋̈́͒͒͘͝ṱ̶̟̔̀̈́̔̒h̶͓̮͒̔̍ḯ̷̡̘͚s̸̢͖̤̘̰̿́͐̇͑̉ ̵̻̖̠̺̠̭͖̺̔p̷̢̛̤̬̋͐̎̃͛͗ơ̸̠̪̞̪̯̣̻͑͆̐̈́̓̚s̶͇̭̭̃͌͆͒̀̏͠t̷̨͇̜̞͊͑̆̂̒̚ ̶̨̛̬̮͕̘͖̐̍̄̕ḯ̵̛̻̀̑́̚ș̵͉̲̳͓̈́͗̈́͝ ̷̨̩͔͙̰̏̏̉͝ç̸̨̧̨̨͈̻͉͚͍̝̘̻͕̘̜̘̪̣̲̞̳̝̗͖͗͑̄̎͒̆́̈́̍̊̅̓̈́̈́͗̓̿̃͐̈̀̈́ó̷̳͆̍̾̔͌͌̈́̋̎̈́͋̑̐̈́̂̌̋̊͘͝m̷̛̝̦͍͎͚͕̻̰̂́̀́̿̀̒̈́͊̏̌̈́̈͂͒̓͋͘̚͠p̵̢̨̩͓̩̘̠͓̠͉̼̹̥̹̦͕̼͍͍̯͇̠͋͆́̓̌̃͋͘͜ļ̴̧̧̯̜̗̞̭̤͉͖̦͐͂̈e̷̝̠͓̪̿t̵̢̨̡̻̗̬͕̠͓͍̜̼̩̳̳̟̍͛̑̒̋̀͋̈́̐́̽̀̋͋̇̅́̔̄̐̾̓͠e̶̡̨̛͍̭͉̫̙̺̱̝͇͕̱̮̼̯̲̙̫͚̳̺̯̟͓͛̽̃̐͒̏̑͛̿̔̏̔̇̾̅̒̑̃̋̆̂͒̐̑̈́͑̕̚͜͝ͅͅl̸̨̨̛͍͎̤̯̜͎̫͖͎̱̗̥̠̱̳͖̹͉̳̦͛̽̈́̐̽̑̑̈́̇̏͂̆̂̉̒̇͑̊̊̊̾̕̕͠͠ỳ̸̧̢͈̦͇̳͈͓͓̭͎̹̙̜̞̫̯͉̳͚̻̘͎̯̖̾̏́͛̆̀͗̀͐̇͜͝ͅͅ ự̵̢̨̧̱͎̰̳͉̰̲̦̬͚̟͖̮̠͎̰͎̫̞̬̤̼̖̮̘͐̄͗͒̓̐̓̀̒̾͋̾̇͛̀͑̃̐͌̒̾̃̅̏̕͜͝͝ņ̷̨̧̡̧̡̡̜̲͍̖̝̝̪̬̼̬̹͔̣̻͈̗̩͓̎̄̓͐̔͘͜͝ḛ̶̢̢̞͚̫͍͖̤͊d̶̛͎̞̥̼̲͇̏̀̑̌͑̏͑̎̎̀̄͒̒̇̽͛͂̎̾̓̓̄͒̒͑̎̌̀͛̓͗͐̉͊̈̅̽̄͆̂̽̕̕͝͝͝ĩ̸̛̻̘̫͎͔̤̠̖̮̯͎̊̀̿͋̈́̾̾̃͋͐̎̄͊͋́͂̊̑̽͐̑̀͂̈́̆̾̈́̋͋͌̽̔͑̄̓́͑̾̚̕͝͠͝t̴̢̛̜͓̫͓͙̘̭̦̪̹̣̮̟͙͍̬̀̀̏̈́́̂̾̅͊̆͐̅̈́̀̎̄̕̕̕͝͝͠ͅͅe̷̢̨̩͙̜̮̗͈͇̲͋̑̊̂̓͌̃͊̀͑́̎̕͜d̴̨͉̻̯̟̫̫͕̫̻̻͓̭͈̮́́͆̂͆̉̄́͗̒̈́̒̎͊̂̾̓͌̈́͆̀̐͆́̃́̎͋̅̽̊̐̃͆͌͘̕͘͜͜͝.
~SomeRandomPersonAccount
- This post contains a link to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up. by on 2020-04-01 10:30:24 UTC Reply
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Never gonna run around! Except for how I am. It's fun! by
on 2020-04-05 06:43:06 UTC
Reply
What do you know? This really does link to the song! No false advertising!
{I feel like we should be suspicious of that.}
[[I think it works.]]
{You would.}
Psst. Hey, author. Write us some detail next time, will you? Maybe a couch and some tacos? I'm craving tacos. It's becoming a problem.
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This post contains an April Fools' prank. by
on 2020-04-01 07:50:10 UTC
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Oh, and it's a good one...
You might think that, by telling you about it, I've kind of ruined it, but you couldn't be further from the truth (which, I understand, is Out There). In fact, this particular prank works all the better because I've told you about it.
Yes, it's like the opposite of the placebo effect (isn't there a name for that?). By now you're probably looking up and down the post to find it, but I'm not worried - you'll never spot it. Not before it gets you.
You're honestly not going to believe this one when I tell you. Maybe I should give you a hint...? --but no. If you're going to spot it (you won't), you should do it all yourselves (Use the Force, PPC).
I think that's all I need to say. Happy April Fools' Day, Protectors (and may your eyries receive you at the journey's end).
Oh, and:
Gotcha.
hS
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Does this mean I can use the Force now?? [[Well, that's not terrifying.]] by
on 2020-04-05 07:05:44 UTC
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Deadpool leans forward excitedly in the squashy armchair, where he has been munching away at a big platter of poutine.
Ooh, description! I like it.
[[Finally.]]
{No tacos, though. :(}
Shh, I'm trying out my new Force powers.
Deadpool waves a hand in a familiar arc, and intones the phrase: These are the tacos you are looking for. By which I mean, you should go get me tacos.
{The description's sticking around. I'm not sure I like this.}
[[You're such a scaredy-cat sometimes. Description is great!]]
I agree. It's good for the soul. As are tacos. #pointedlook.
[[I don't think you're supposed to put self-description in hashtags.]]
I'm [BLEEP] Deadpool. I--
What was that?
{Oh no.}
[[...I think you might be being censored.]]
What? That's an outrage! I'm Deadpool!
[[I think it's just a family-friendly environment thing.]]
I got bleeped! I don't get bleeped!
[[You haven't been swearing much at all, have you noticed?]]
{Aaah! Panic panic panic--}
Well, I'm definitely swearing now! [BLEEP! BLEEPBLEEPBLEEEEEEP!] Argh!
[[Yeah, I don't think any of that got through.]]
{!!!}
...you know what, I think I can use this. Hey, readers! I'm swearing very creatively right now, but you'll never know what hilarious things I'm coming up with! Evil laugh! [BLEEEPITY BLEEP BLEEPING BLEEEEEP!]
[[...]]
{...did that look different to anyone else?}
--
Psst. Hey. Psst. You. Yes, you, the guy from last time.
Don't forget the tacos. #Jedimindpowers.
((So, yeah, I realized it makes perfect sense for him to jump around the thread. Stranger things have happened! ~Z))
Ooh, are you talking about me?
((Gah!))
I'm already in this post, you know. Makes it easy to jump around in it.
((I put in a line! You're supposed to stay--oh, forget it. Just shoo.))
Write me in some tacoooooos!
((I'm telling you, this guy's a headache in person.))
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Hmm, it IS Taco Friday, after all... (nm) by
on 2020-04-10 16:29:47 UTC
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Taco Tuesday on Friday (nm) by
on 2020-04-11 16:24:56 UTC
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^_^ (nm) by
on 2020-04-11 16:56:59 UTC
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Tacos, tacos everywhere, and not a bite to eat! by
on 2020-04-11 17:00:48 UTC
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Seriously, where are the tacos? For so many mentions of them, they should really be easier to find.