Subject: I didn't think about them! That would make for top quality shananigans! (nm)
Author:
Posted on: 2020-07-01 12:14:20 UTC
-
Return mission! by
on 2020-06-23 09:25:51 UTC
Edited
Writing
Reply
My first mission in five years is finally complete. Not only that, but it's a double feature!
First off the mission, which due to the nature of the fic is very much NSFW. Agent's Steven Fontwell and Wallis tackle a Simpsons based bleepfic, which is so bad I'm not sure I have the words for.
The mission can be found hereIt also has a companion piece! While Steven and Wallis are off on mission just what do the other Fontwells get up to. Those answers can be found, here
-
Thoughts by
on 2020-07-04 01:34:45 UTC
Reply
So, overall, I enjoyed the mission - it was a good example of a short, funny PPC work that showed the bad instead of telling - it helps that the fic was so obviously bad in a funny way.
One minor nit is that I'm not sure you needed "Red-Hair" capitalized at the end there.
I needed to go back through the middle of the interlude (mostly the fight scene) a few times since I somewhat lost track of the characters, but other that that, it was good, and I liked the bookends.
Looking forward to more!
-
Re: mission by
on 2020-06-25 13:28:49 UTC
Reply
Okay, finally time for review! Also, I read in the backwards order, because the short one fit into my lunch break better, soooooooo
“What’s Behind the Projector?”
This was just a fun story, overall! There are so many interesting story ideas that can be explored outside of missions, and I really enjoyed this one. Using Swamp Thing’s swamp as the outside HQ location is especially fun, since it’s not a popular location. It also makes me intrigued about the Creature’s identity. Is she an escaped DC native from the same swamp . . . but then how did she know what RAs do . . . I can’t wait to see more of her!
So Shawn was created from the words “science lad” . . . is he actually stuck as a lad forever? I’m torn between feeling bad that he’ll never look like an adult . . . and furiously jealous that he gets to not age. That’s the dream. #goals
The scene that caught my mind the most was when Sasha was talking to Lindsey immediately after Steven and Wallis left. The world view of a child who grew up in HQ is something to ponder. It makes sense that she would have difficulty grasping the effects of the Ironic Overpower, since it’s such an abstract concept. She might need to experience it messing with her directly as she grows older to start to understand. Her viewpoint on Suvians is interesting too. We recognize Suvians as being Wrong from the things they do to canon worlds. But Sasha only knows the term from her parents talking about them; to her, Suvians are just another knd of people who exist. She won’t recognize the reality-bending danger they pose without, again, seeing some concrete evidence of how they can affect things.
“How Will I Clean My Fur?”
First, I want to say that you used the title cleverly, getting some of Wallis’s inner thoughts to us in a way that can’t be done through his dialogue, heh.
Euarghuh, I don’t want to say much about the actual badfic. I think you handled it about as well as can be expected, telling us just enough to understand the beast without letting it take over the story. I . . . could have done without the white liquid, but I understand it was a bit too important to ignore, story-wise. Thank you for establishing that it isn’t what it . . . should be? Let’s just move on.
I loved the gags where Nurse Joy mistook Wallis for a Pokémon, and Flanders being inside a plothole inside a Poké Ball. Perfect! And I also love that when everyone returns home, the married couple are too worried about the mess each has caused themself to notice the other mess in the room.
And now . . . I’m sure you’ve missed doctorlit’s patented lists of typos that he sticks in his reviews . . . well wait no longer, because here we go!
First, here are some that appear in both stories:
“A ball of fur burst from it's nest beneath the sofa . . .”
That’s a possessive, not “it is,” so it would be written “its.”“Wallis moaned, stalking across to the console against the rooms far wall.”
This one is possessive, so “room’s.”“’ I'll give Lindsey 'the talk' you get that sorted . . .”
These phrases run together. I would put a comma right after “talk,” so we readers break them up in our minds.“Both Sasha and Steven locked eyes and in unisom they said ‘I can explain.’”
A comma goes after “said” before the dialogue. Also, “unison.”Next, the ones from “What’s Behind the Projector?”
In the author’s note: “I just have the honor to play in it’s Sandbox”
Another non-possessive “its.”“’ . . . one I’ll have to ask the flowers one day.’”
“’ Why do we always have to do everything the flowers tell us to?’”
Missed the capital “F” on “Flowers” here.“. . . turning out every draw and table top . . .”
“Drawer”“Finally they arrived at a nondescript door identically to all the others . . .”
Since “door” is a noun, it gets the adjective “identical” rather than the adverb.“. . . the automatic lightning flickering for a moment before finally coming on.”
“lighting”And finally, the set from “How Will I Clean My Fur?”
“. . . Ned walked up to the wall, and ‘accidentally’ brushed his gentialita against it.”
I’m not typing the word out.“. . . depositing them unceremoniously on the floor of the Simpson’s house.”
Since the house is occupied by all the Simpsons, it gets written “the Simpsons’ house” or “the Simpsons’s house.”“It didn’t take long to Neurolise Nurse Joy . . .”
“. . . but after the flash of the Neuroliser he headed back in . . .”
“neuralyze,” “neuralyzer”“Vines and weeds laying across every available surface.”
This isn’t a complete sentence as-is, but you can change “laying” to “lay” to make it one.—doctorlit is very excited to get more Meta stories!
-
Thank you by
on 2020-06-25 15:05:18 UTC
Reply
Thank you for the feedback, I'll be sure to deal with those typos tonight.
Glad you liked the HQ action, I've often thought that we have such a great universe it's almost a shame we spend most of the time out of it. My next mission I'm planning on doing something similar, and once I get back to the training stories I'm seriously considering using them to explore HQ a little more.
As for Shawn the Science Lad I'm also planning on exploring his lack of aging at some point, so I'm kinda glad you picked up on that.
Simpsons minis? Well, I suppose they would have ti be three eyed fish. If you're after one you're more than welcome. Lisa simpin, marj and Ned Fnalders are all available and yours for the taking - although having said that if anyone else requests you may have to share between you.
-
Hey, I was thinking you might go with those fish! by
on 2020-06-29 02:20:25 UTC
Reply
Sweet! Another mini for my Initiative . . . I'll only need one more after this!
"How's that coming?" Omri Stone demanded.
The agents from Misplaced Flora and Fauna, a man and a woman, glanced at each other. "Just about finished," the man said quietly. "Water's nearly filled, and no sign of leakage so far.
Omri stepped closer and examined the water tank the unnaturalists had been setting up. He frowned. "Don't these need some kind of filtration system? To oxygenate the water?"
The woman huffed. In a calm voice, the man said, "They do when they're housing actual water life. Minis aren't alive, just typos."
Omri raised his head and looked down his nose at the man. "Oh. Oh you're going to come in here, the Mini Adoption Agency, and tell the employees here all about minis, are you? Think being DMFF makes you some kind of expert? If you—"
"Look man!" the woman erupted, rounding on Omri. "You went up the chain of command and got us hauled away from doing real work to build a fish tank for things that don't even breathe water! They've been sitting here fine this whole time! Look!"
Three mini-three-eyed fish, Simpin, Marj and Fnalders, were sitting on the floor, calmly watching the exchange, seemingly oblivious to the antagonism. Mark flopped its tail a bit.
Omri locked eyes with the woman, eyelids lowered. "Yeah, that looks real nice to any agents who come in looking to adopt. Fish just sitting on the floor, immobile. In this division, we at least try to appear professional."
The woman's eyes widened. "What is that supposed to mean, exactly? Was that a&mdas;"
But her partner interrupted. "Don't. Just. We're done, the tank is finished. Let's go." He put an arm around her shoulders and started to steer her out of the room, avoiding eye contact with Omri. The woman glared at him, though, as she allowed her partner to pilot her away.
Omri returned the glare as they left. Once they were through the door, he went to the minis, knelt down, and lifted Simpin and Fnalders under an arm, carrying them to the tank. He awkwardly climbed up a stepladder feet-only and lowered the three-eyed-fish into the water. Both excitedly began swimming in circles, testing their newfound mobility. Fnalders settled down first while Simpin continued exploring the space.
Omri came down the ladder and turned to grab the third Simpsons mini, only to discover Marj wasn't where it had been sitting when he picked up the other two. He glanced around the small room. Most of the minis had been herded from the room to keep them from distracting the DMFF agents, although a mini-Gohma and a mini-Monoeye had been holding a staring contest undisturbed in one corner since before the work began. A mini-Reaper was drifting lazily in circles up near the ceiling. Otherwise, the room was empty.
Omri's fists clenched. "I really, really don't need this kind of paperwork right now."
In the janitorial closet across from the Adoption Center, a mini-Missingno's jumbly coding body passed through the door. In its tinny-speaker voice, it announced, "A new recruit."
"Well done, Physic," said Midguard. He struck a match, illuminating his face. "Who have we added to the team?"
Physic parted its sprite tiles and allowed an orange fish with three eyes to flop to the floor. "All right! Magikarp was caught!"
Midguard stared at the fish. "That's a fish."
"Yes," garbled Physic. "I have captured a Water-type. We didn't have one before."
Midguard shut his eyes. "Oooh boooy. Physic, we're supposed to be a superhero team. That is a fish. Fish are not superheroes!"
Physic twisted itself back into the classic Missingno shape. "Three eyes allow for greater visual acuity. It is also a streamlined shape perfect for swimming, a talent none of us currently possess."
"But it's a fish. How are we going to keep it alive without water?"
"I listened to agents speaking before I took Marj. They do not need water, just as we do not need air."
"You may not need air because your body is 8-bit pixels. The rest of us need air. I've been breathing ever since I was created. Right, Fortesque?"
A mini-acromantula dropped down from a web. "Eeeeeeeeeh, nooooooo . . ." it hissed. "No need breathe."
"Wait, really?" Midguard held his breath. Two minutes later, he said, "Well I'll be damned. I guess we don't need to breathe." He dropped his eyes to the fish. "Well, the real Nick Fury didn't have a lot of choice in his team either. I guess I'm employing a fish now."
Marj flopped.
The Avengers Minitiative
coming April 27, 2018 -
I have missed this! by
on 2020-06-29 12:23:54 UTC
Reply
At least I have the excuse of having been gone for nearly five years. I love this idea, and I'm now really upset the missions I'm currently working on don't have mini's because I really want to see more of this. I can't remember if I actually published it or not (Need to double check now) but I did have a mission once that involved several Mini-Snarfs from the Thundercats continuum that I'd be happy to supply if you were interested.
-
Thanks, but I've put some very arbitrary rules on myself for this project. by
on 2020-06-29 15:36:58 UTC
Reply
I'm only taking minis
- from newly published missions
- by an Boarder I haven't gotten a mini from yet
- of a mini type I haven't collected yet
"Restrictions breed creativity," as the design team of Magic: the Gathering used to say back when I payed attention to them, and maybe still say. And that's how I've wound up with a fish on my team of wannabe superhero minis.
—doctorlit thanks you for coming to his TED Talk
- from newly published missions
-
Oh, Really? by
on 2020-06-29 19:11:11 UTC
Edited
Reply
I believe my first mission (Assuming it’s ever published) will have some mini-furies (from PJO, not Marvel). I hope you haven’t had any of those yet.
Too bad it’s only for Boarders you haven’t gotten minis from. I really like those stories.
-
Oh, well I guess rule 4. would be by
on 2020-06-30 12:16:53 UTC
Reply
that I can't read any missions that spoil novels I haven't read yet. And I haven't started any Percy Jackson yet. Sorry!
—doctorlit will get around to them, eventually
-
That's fair enough by
on 2020-06-29 19:03:15 UTC
Reply
Although I do have to add I'm really looking forward to seeing more of this story.
-
This is the first time I've noticed the Minitiative. by
on 2020-06-29 09:10:28 UTC
Reply
I love it. XD
It's also the best use I've seen for those rather disturbing tiny-human-minis that are the mini-Nicks, so bravo. :)
hS
-
Glad you like! by
on 2020-06-29 17:06:54 UTC
Reply
To be completely honest though, I'm not sure what to actually do with the team once it's filled out. Minis can't go on missions, and the DIA and DES have actual security covered . . . I'm just going to have to come up with shenanigans within HQ and New Cal for them to get into. We'll see what happens!
I actively try to avoid the humanoid minis, since I know it bothers some folks, but it was a little too hard to resist a Nick Fury for this project. I'm glad it's at least somewhat working out for you?
—doctorlit, with hands on the steering wheel, but eyes on neither map nor road
-
If they need someone to shenanigan with... by
on 2020-06-30 14:41:13 UTC
Reply
... there's a pack of various mini-wolves down in the Courtyard. :D
I've just looked through my next mission, and I couldn't find a single misspelled name in the badfic. SIGH.
hS
-
I didn't think about them! That would make for top quality shananigans! (nm) by
on 2020-07-01 12:14:20 UTC
Reply
-
Bah, I completely forgot! by
on 2020-06-25 13:40:25 UTC
Reply
Meta, you're the first discoverer of Simpsons minis! That means you get to decide what they are.
So get on it, because I need to adopt one for a very stupid mini-based side series I've been slowly writing.—doctorlit gets very stupid writing ideas sometimes
-
It needs some work by
on 2020-06-23 20:28:58 UTC
Reply
Disguise generators are a thing needed outside the GFFA for Wallis, as an Ewok would nuke an SEP field and allow canons to see agents immediately. A Special Edition of this mission would be of some use.
-
They weren't really needed by
on 2020-06-24 14:12:48 UTC
Reply
To be honest it was such a bleepfic that disguises weren't needed. Ned Flanders saw them for one line before getting killed off. Lisa and Marge technically turned up for two lines but were spelt as Lisa simpin and marj, so it was only really minis. To be fair from that point on an Ewok was the least of the fics problems
-
It's a running gag, at this point. by
on 2020-06-24 12:18:57 UTC
Reply
Disguising Wallis would remove the comedy of the Ewok dialogue that only Steven can understand. Plus, the break-ability of the SEP field is subjective from spin-off to spin-off. As long as everyone who saw Wallis gets neuralyzed before the agents leave, it's not a huge deal.
(Meta, I totally have a review of my own coming; just need to find an open point between shifts to type it all out. Sorry!)
—doctorlit, wondering what Wallis thinks of the new Star Wars trilogy