Subject: It makes sense now.
Author:
Posted on: 2021-07-24 16:41:21 UTC
I still prefer lots of character psychology, but I can appreciate this for what it is.
Subject: It makes sense now.
Author:
Posted on: 2021-07-24 16:41:21 UTC
I still prefer lots of character psychology, but I can appreciate this for what it is.
Believe me, I am very surprised. I did not think that this would happen when I popped by the Board all those two months ago, but here we are. But just when you think you're out... * dramatically bites off a piece of her candy necklace while staring into the distance * ...they pull you back in.
Presenting...
Response Center 700: My Most Beautiful Story! Starring Agent Blank and Agent Ekwy! It has it all. Snark! A Tenth Walker Sue! Uh... CATS references! And some really odd Elf names!
Thanks once more to Neshomeh for beta'ing. Mwah!
/Ekwy
Oh man. It is so cool to see characters from one of my favorite PPC stories making a comeback! (And relatedly, I loved Ekwy's reference to rewriting song lyrics.) I'm sad to learn about Zit dying, though. I hope we'll get to hear more about how the lives of the other Mary Sues That Weren't have been going, as this series continues?
We've had retired agents return before, but I don't think we've ever gotten such a deep glimpse into the retiree's post-PPC life as you've given us with Ekwy. I think that opening scene between Ekwy and Blank is my favorite out of the whole story! I like that there's quite a bit of tension there, with Ekwy both feeling nostalgic for the sense of adventure the PPC offers, and reluctant to take the sort of risks being an agent entails. The details about working in an escape room company were interesting, too. (And big sympathies on the whole customer-service-forced-smile element, too. I'm more of a scrub-the-floor-get-the-job-done type myself, so I always dread guest interaction when I'm at the zoo.) You did a good job of remembering Ekwy's lack of knowledge of the modern PPC too, and I loved all the jokes/moments where new technology and policies caught her by surprise.
I'll admit I did not see the reveal of Ekwy(/you) being the author of the badfic coming at all, not until the she knows line! Up to that point, I thought her defensive towards the fic was just to show Blank that she just wasn't angry enough to kill badfics any more. I was glad that you chose not to assassinate all the OCs, especially the de-orced orc and the bird, as they really hadn't done anything wrong. (Kind of bothers me that Middle-earth has a species of bird that inherently evil? But maybe it's some kind of will influence on Sauron's part, the way the One Ring works?) I also love that the mission ends with one Ekwy avatar getting swapped out for another, PPC-wise. I was a little surprised at first by how aggressive Blank was towards Moira, as she's technically Suvian herself. But on further thought, I can understand why the treatment the MSTWs got in Sparklee would leave a long-lasting bad taste in their mouths. The Ent stampede for wiping out Elfhome was perfect—and kudos for finding a DOGA-style method that doesn't involve fire; we really need more of those. The way Fangorn suddenly filled in proper as canon reasserted itself, just before the attack, was absolutely perfect. Oh, and one last little detail I liked was when you mentioned Frodo getting worn down by having to hold the Ring longer, due to the fic dragging out the plot longer than it was supposed to go. I don't think I've seen another mission bring that up before; time can get so wonky in a mission, it's hard to keep track of that kind of thing!
I saw one possible typo:
"'They’re just on a super-secret quest where the fate of the world is on the line. And she knows all your names.'"
Blank starts out narrating the summary in third-person, but the second sentence switches to addressing the Fellowship. I think you want the pronouns to match?
—doctorlit, excited that Ekwy is writing again!
I liked the description of a literal language barrier and how The Food™ was described.
I also liked Ekwy's character with her counter-arguments in defense of the Sue and how she preferred her life at World One to show she wasn't the same Ekwy as before.
--Ozzielot
The mission was funny, the initial introductory bit was nice, and I enjoyed how you were both pointing out the good and less-good parts of the fic. The language barrier was a nice touch.The "no birds" bit made me laugh as well.
To be honest, I didn't really "feel" it as much as I wanted to, but that could just as easily be a product of my emotional state and incredibly high standards. I could appreciate the humor and absurdity, but those jokes don't work on me as well as they used to.
So, deprived of my ability to enjoy humor, I must look to your characters. And what characters they are! I haven't read anything else featuring these two, but you telegraphed what was going on well enough for me even if I don't know the exact significance of that raven knife. It's also a very interesting take on the PPC – what happens if you do successfully retire? Thoth mentioned the meta-narrative, but since "meta-narrative" is extremely vague I'd like to specify the meta-narrative I saw: Agent Ekwy, after fifteen years away from HQ, is called back to her past life to do One Last Job with her old friends. It mirrors how you, after fifteen years' absence from the PPC, returned to the Board after hearing about the move (I think it was the move that brought you back? Am I right?) and write One Last Mission with your old friends. And I really hope that it's not One Last Mission because I think I'll like what you have in stock. The idea of the PPC as fallible and capable of making misjudgements isn't something one normally considers when writing a hit piece on, say, Starfleet Magic or any of the myriad terribly bad fics, but it's worth considering if you can see the effort put into it, and it's something you show well here through the conflict between Ekwy and Blank.
I have two major criticisms. The first is the recruitment scene: That segment doesn't pack one-fifth of the emotional punch it should. You just say "Moira looked ready to cry" and then she just. Goes along with what the agents are saying? This is supposed to be a super-emotional turning point for her, and it's just not given enough development for me to care. I feel that, in a lesser form, that extends to the whole thing. There's this... feeling throughout it all that it's not enough, that the characters' emotions are mentioned and moved on from too quickly. It feels flat. You should get a second opinion on this, as it could be my maze of complexes acting up again. The Moira scene is non-negotiable, though. >:(
Overall, pretty good mission that explored a new story idea! Would love to see more like this in the future.
Glad you enjoyed it! My return to the PPC had more to do with rediscovering my love of fanfiction and post things I've written instead of just letting them metaphorically gather dust on my desktop, and then I stumbled across it being an actual tag on Ao3. It tumbled me down a bit of a rabbit hole where all the encouragement I needed to stop by was some assurance from Neshomeh that I'd be more than welcome, and so I posted on the Board not really thinking I'd be more than an oldie lurker. Then that whole thread spiralled into a beautiful tangle of nostalgia and I knew I'd end up writing missions again. It's way too much fun not to! =)
It is not entirely necessary to recognise these characters or know where they come from (Agent Ekwy was, unsurprisingly, my character back in the day and Blank hails from the PPC Musical I wrote; they have not been partners on assignment before) and there are references to other things I wrote. The feather knife is one of them, so I am curious if anyone will catch it. (Anyone's free to ask about it if they're curious.) This is proooobably Agent Ekwy's last real mission, but she might have cameos if I feel like dragging her back into the insanity. She is offically retired.
As Neshomeh pointed out, Moira's feelings about being recruited are not elaborated upon because this is not the story about Moira's feelings. This is the story of how Moira was recruited from the point of view of the agent that recruited her. It's true I could have made the scene of her recruitment longer, maybe have a bit more of back-and-forth, but I felt the story was winding down and it might have dragged a bit. But I will dive into Moira more when she gets the chance to tell her point of view. I don't think I'll be heavy on the angst; I tend to lean more towards comedy overall, but if that's not your thing then that's cool!
Thank you for reading!
/Ekwy
Or maybe a first opinion, since I beta'd the story? Eh, either way.
SPOILERS BELOW
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I disagree about Moira's recruitment scene for one simple reason: contrary to what the typical Sue might think, it's not all about her. {= ) This is Agent Ekwy's story, and we're experiencing events from her perspective. We're not in Moira's head, so it wouldn't make sense for the narrative to suddenly take a deep dive into her feelings when Ekwy is busy dealing with Blank's reaction to her decision to recruit their target. Also, we shouldn't need it spelled out for us to imagine that plenty goes through Moira's head while the agents argue, and that whatever she thinks during that time leads her to go along with the plan. I would guess something along the lines of "Well, at least this doesn't involve me getting stabbed while I'm weakened from de-Orcing that Orc," and also "Ooooh, that portal is shiny..." {= )
That said, this is definitely more of a TOS-style piece, so you're not wrong that it's lighter on the character psychology than, say, one of my stories. But for my two cents, that's a good thing. We can't all be hopeless addicts to angst. ^_~
~Neshomeh
I still prefer lots of character psychology, but I can appreciate this for what it is.
It's got a very classic feel to it, despite also having the greater character focus and more nuanced thoughts about sues and such that we typically have nowadays. The meta-narrative conceit (oh yes, break out the scrabble board, we're using big, pretentious words today) is also a lot of fun to play with. And it was just... nice.
It's good to see a reminder of why I showed up here to begin with every once in a while.
Gosh, I enjoyed that just... so much. An old, somewhat jaded former agent is funnier than I could ever have expected, there are so many lovely little lines, and the mix of standard PPC cynicism and Ekwy's optimism and tolerance is really interesting. I was genuinely incredibly invested in the theme of moving on with a new life vs. returning to an old one, and I didn't expect the twist at all. thank you for the mission it was good