Subject: re: mission (spoilers)
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Posted on: 2021-08-05 14:08:50 UTC

Oh man. It is so cool to see characters from one of my favorite PPC stories making a comeback! (And relatedly, I loved Ekwy's reference to rewriting song lyrics.) I'm sad to learn about Zit dying, though. I hope we'll get to hear more about how the lives of the other Mary Sues That Weren't have been going, as this series continues?

We've had retired agents return before, but I don't think we've ever gotten such a deep glimpse into the retiree's post-PPC life as you've given us with Ekwy. I think that opening scene between Ekwy and Blank is my favorite out of the whole story! I like that there's quite a bit of tension there, with Ekwy both feeling nostalgic for the sense of adventure the PPC offers, and reluctant to take the sort of risks being an agent entails. The details about working in an escape room company were interesting, too. (And big sympathies on the whole customer-service-forced-smile element, too. I'm more of a scrub-the-floor-get-the-job-done type myself, so I always dread guest interaction when I'm at the zoo.) You did a good job of remembering Ekwy's lack of knowledge of the modern PPC too, and I loved all the jokes/moments where new technology and policies caught her by surprise.

I'll admit I did not see the reveal of Ekwy(/you) being the author of the badfic coming at all, not until the she knows line! Up to that point, I thought her defensive towards the fic was just to show Blank that she just wasn't angry enough to kill badfics any more. I was glad that you chose not to assassinate all the OCs, especially the de-orced orc and the bird, as they really hadn't done anything wrong. (Kind of bothers me that Middle-earth has a species of bird that inherently evil? But maybe it's some kind of will influence on Sauron's part, the way the One Ring works?) I also love that the mission ends with one Ekwy avatar getting swapped out for another, PPC-wise. I was a little surprised at first by how aggressive Blank was towards Moira, as she's technically Suvian herself. But on further thought, I can understand why the treatment the MSTWs got in Sparklee would leave a long-lasting bad taste in their mouths. The Ent stampede for wiping out Elfhome was perfect—and kudos for finding a DOGA-style method that doesn't involve fire; we really need more of those. The way Fangorn suddenly filled in proper as canon reasserted itself, just before the attack, was absolutely perfect. Oh, and one last little detail I liked was when you mentioned Frodo getting worn down by having to hold the Ring longer, due to the fic dragging out the plot longer than it was supposed to go. I don't think I've seen another mission bring that up before; time can get so wonky in a mission, it's hard to keep track of that kind of thing!

I saw one possible typo:
"'They’re just on a super-secret quest where the fate of the world is on the line. And she knows all your names.'"
Blank starts out narrating the summary in third-person, but the second sentence switches to addressing the Fellowship. I think you want the pronouns to match?

—doctorlit, excited that Ekwy is writing again!

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