That works...

Subject: That works...
Author: Huinesoron
Posted on: 2021-08-18 15:45:51 UTC

... until the kids catch on. "But you have to let us go to the Arboretum, Mom! It's on your road!"

From north to south, residences available in New Cal are probably:

Hobbit holes up on le Loup.
Old (by New Cal standards) farmhouses around the farmlands, where these aren't just hobbit holes.
American-style suburban houses in the American Quarter. Digory Kirke is in the midst of these. Given that they were built ad-hoc by the agents who first lived in them, there's room for variation on "American" (it's a Weed who used the term, so she's not overly familiar). A cottage like the one you mention could sit on the edge somewhere.
Apartments over some of the shops in the city centre.
Hotels/motels in the city centre, including larger villas to rent and thatched huts on the northern slopes.
Probably some ex-hotel buildings converted into apartments.
Local-style houses in the French Quarter, the largest block of residences. It's surprisingly difficult to find pictures of regular houses in New Cal - Google mostly shows apartment blocks and hotels - but we've taken a lot of influence from the French Quarter in Pondicherry. Flattish or even thatched roofs, overhanging to shade the front door, possibly with columns to make an open porch. A lot of the houses are single-storey - I think we had a vague limit of two floors for anything other than a couple of buildings. 'Cottage/bungalow' could fit in here too.

I think Constance might have found a suitable house down at the west end of the Rue Algernon. There's a reasonably flattish bit of un-roaded ground which Dafydd can take over as his personal forest, provided he can be persuaded that mellyrn won't grow in a rainforest environment...!

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Mission Plug: Rose of the Dark Abyss [MDZS] by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-08 17:36:27 UTC Writing Plug Reply

As promised in my previous post about the impending official English translations of MXTX's novels, please have the last mission of Eledhwen and Christianne, and an introduction mission for my new Department of Bad Slash agent, Liu Siyuan.

Rose Of The Dark Abyss
A Tolkienverse elleth walks into a cultivation fantasy...

The mission is backdated to early April 2021 and takes place in Mo Dao Zu Shi (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation), a Chinese fantasy webnovel with Boy's Love (BL) elements. Thanks to my beta readers Neshomeh and Zingenmir, you do not need any knowledge of MDZS or Chinese fantasy to read this mission. There is also a very lengthy set of appendices with terms and translations and footnotes to help you out.

Things obtained from mission up for grabs:
-A translucent flying dagger called an 'air like dagger'
-Two mini-Xuanwu: QuingheNie, Luanzng hill

Things added to continuity:
-Department of Bad Slash agent Liu Siyuan, who has been in HQ as of December 2018 and working for the DBS as of early 2019. Future interludes will delve into backstory stuff and what he's been up to at HQ prior to this mission.
-A mahjong circuit in HQ that meets in the Lounge. They use a confusing mix of rules (+ a Mary Sue tile that does whatever the wielder wants).
-Lori and Bill have moved to DAS-SWEAR, since in their last appearance they were in the erstwhile DMSE&R.
-DAS-SWEAR and the MRD have continued to advance de-Glitterification tech since HST 2011.
-Minis in MDZS are mini-Xuanwu. Imagine it as a little black tortoise with a snake-like neck.
-HQ has multiple Reality Rooms, and the one appearing in this mission is the same that Derik landed in in Gestalt Therapy.
-Some retired agents have pensions. :P Possibly wheedled out of the SO in exchange for appearing in ~~propaganda~~ recruitment posters.

Anyway, here it is. From here on out, keep your eyes peeled for interludes and backstory stuff from me as opposed to missions!

Basically, d'awwwwhahaha. ^_^ by Huinesoron on 2021-08-17 11:05:50 UTC Reply

Christianne snorted. “Would it be mean of us to pull an Acacia and find some burrs for his shoes?” - yes, I laughed.

I love the rumers too. ^_^ But I think my biggest grin was the sudden cameo by Miette. :D

And just in general, the sheer weight of references (obligatory sidenote: To Stuff I Recognise). The Blackout. IAHF. The Department of Redundancy Department. The Occasional Hunger Games. The Department of Redundancy Department. I guess the PPC, like all fanfic, has always been fuelled by that type of recognition; the nice thing is that we can now recognise the PPC in its stories, not just the canon it's based on.

And the ending is quite adorable. (Though it does have me wondering if I should retcon Dafydd and Constance's house to be in New Cal rather than off in a semi-blip reality I'm never going back to. Or maybe they should just move. ^_^)

hS

You see Miette? You understand reference like the Captain America? by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-17 11:34:11 UTC Reply

Cookie! Cookie for Huinesoron!

I'm glad you got the references! I've not had much time to read missions lately (and yes, many of them are in fandoms I'm not overtly invested in, so that also doesn't help) so unfortunately all I've been referencing are my old things ;P Which in this case was on purpose since it's pulling things full circle for E and C.

Yes! Move Dafydd and Constance to New Cal!! They and E and C could have a silly sitcom dedicated to life in the interdimensional suburban mayhem of New Cal. Imagine: Jasmine going through a mall goth phase and accidentally giving her parents flashbacks to My Immortal, Sprouts meetings that accidentally open up wormholes to new dimensions, parent-teacher conferences because someone wrote a God-Mode Sue that broke out of the confines of the Sandbox's creativity shield and is now terrorising all of Digory Kirke! The possibilities are endless!

Cookie for Huinesoron for one thousand years! by Huinesoron on 2021-08-18 14:39:55 UTC Reply

I think I'm going to have to take a look at the New Cal map and guide again and see if there's anywhere with potential for a big enough garden for Dafydd's comfort, but I know Connie would like to live in a world with, y'know, an actual innate tech level, so it's a distinct possibility. (Though how they'll cope with living somewhere which has actual roads named after them... o.o)

hS

They just pretend not to notice? :P by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-18 15:21:33 UTC Reply

I fully intend to move Liu Siyuan to New Cal within a year or two (surprisingly, ancient Chinese cultivators don't really jive with Generic Surface :P), stipulating that he finds a small cottage/bungalow with a big garden somewhere... so I'm pretty sure Dafydd could find something similar!

That works... by Huinesoron on 2021-08-18 15:45:51 UTC Reply
... until the kids catch on. "But you have to let us go to the Arboretum, Mom! It's on your road!"

From north to south, residences available in New Cal are probably:
- Hobbit holes up on le Loup.
- Old (by New Cal standards) farmhouses around the farmlands, where these aren't just hobbit holes.
- American-style suburban houses in the American Quarter. Digory Kirke is in the midst of these. Given that they were built ad-hoc by the agents who first lived in them, there's room for variation on "American" (it's a Weed who used the term, so she's not overly familiar). A cottage like the one you mention could sit on the edge somewhere.
- Apartments over some of the shops in the city centre.
- Hotels/motels in the city centre, including larger villas to rent and thatched huts on the northern slopes.
- Probably some ex-hotel buildings converted into apartments.
- Local-style houses in the French Quarter, the largest block of residences. It's surprisingly difficult to find pictures of regular houses in New Cal - Google mostly shows apartment blocks and hotels - but we've taken a lot of influence from the French Quarter in Pondicherry. Flattish or even thatched roofs, overhanging to shade the front door, possibly with columns to make an open porch. A lot of the houses are single-storey - I think we had a vague limit of two floors for anything other than a couple of buildings. 'Cottage/bungalow' could fit in here too.
I think Constance might have found a suitable house down at the west end of the Rue Algernon. There's a reasonably flattish bit of un-roaded ground which Dafydd can take over as his personal forest, provided he can be persuaded that mellyrn won't grow in a rainforest environment...!

hS

E/C are in the American Quarter, as I mentioned. by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-18 16:18:24 UTC Reply

I think I mentioned a flat, but "suburban-style American housing" can be extended into small apartment buildings of like 2+ bedrooms (and I know this on account of having lived in suburban American apartments :P) or converted houses.

I actually glanced around holiday cottages in New Cal on Airbnb, so I do know a bungalow with a big backyard is feasible for the area. Liu Siyuan is a bit exacting on his aesthetics, though, and would probably want something less French or American-looking. A thatched-roof bungalow with an open porch that can be screened in by sliding paper screens (giving more of a Japanese look, but ancient Chinese architecture would probably not blend as easily with the surroundings) would be ideal for him. I actually did some drawings, though... hypothetical spoilers?

It should be 1 story, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, facing South/East, mostly open-plan, probably feng shui'd within an inch of its life. So I guess putting it in the French Quarter would work?

And as for Dafydd trying to plant mellyrn, the arboretum workers (I know one in particular would have opinions on this, since I'm writing her) would like to remind him that there are many endangered species of pine here in New Cal and that planting invasive species like mellyrn may have consequences for the local flora :P

Re: mission by doctorlit on 2021-08-17 00:04:15 UTC Reply

Oh, dear. I have a terrible feeling I've been pronouncing Christianne's surname in the whitest way possible all these years. The spelling reminded me of a lot of names from the U.S. Civil War era (Tecumseh, etc.) so I've been saying "SHY-uh." But know I realize it's probably "SHEE-ay," huh? >_> Oops.

This mission works so well as a send-off for Christianne and Eledhwen! You showed off their new maturity in such a subtle way throughout: they engage with the fic so little compared to Liu Siyuan, always reverting back to flirting with each other! And their discomfort with Siyuan's reactions to the fic get the point across, too; they just don't feel that anger any more. And I think it's appropriate, between that and the fact that they've adopted a child of their own, that they decided not to assassinate John. It respects that the character is a minor, and reflects the out-of-universe push we had some years ago to avoid assassinations when possible.

Siyuan is an interesting character. I was literally just thinking to myself that he seemed too boring to be one of your characters, right before I read Christianne thought he was "too competent and sane." I love the idea of an agent who's actually quite good at the job, but relies on energy from the canon to do said job, which then makes go haywire once the badfic starts corrupting that energy. Poor guy! Hopefully interacting with others will start helping him steel his mind and energy against the problem. I'm all for introversion, but missions are nothing to be tackling alone! I also like that both his flashpatch and exorcism strategy match his culture and style. The exorcism was quite cool, too.

And as a final note, I loved seeing some of the minor characters you've created over the years coming back for mentions and appearances, as well as following up on the deglitterfication project! I hope we'll see some of them get further appearances in future interludes?

—doctorlit, glad to have spent most of the weekend on this wonderful story!

Christianne's surname is pulled from my elementary school friend's, and -- by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-17 00:54:04 UTC Reply

-- in elementary school the closest most people got to saying it correct was saying it like "Shay". The proper pronunciation is alluded to when C mentioned her Chinese name: Xie is the pinyin for it, but I know the X probably throws people for a curve if they're not accustomed to pinyin. It's /ɕe/ in IPA, where the ɕ is like the sh in 'sheep', but a bit palatalised, and then e is like the eh sound in "hey". ~~Not sure if that helps, either! /takes off linguist hat~~

In 2017 (2016 in-universe) I had a Last Mission (that I thought was the Last Mission before this one) where C began to think about burnout on the job and retiring, which is sort of alluded to in this bit. I thought I'd tug on that thread a little more here, especially since in the previous Last Mission they did assassinate the Sue in the end. It's half out of continuity because a bunch of well-known writers in the fandom the badfic is set in make cameos in it, so I only show it to people upon request (cough, hint) and only the stuff concerning E and C are canonical. I think this one is a much better Last Mission, though, since it wraps up a lot of the loose ends I had floating around from 2008! And I hope to tie up more with parts 3 and 4 of the backstory stitch-up fic too.

LSY is actually my current darling so I'm pretty amused that you found him boring at first! He does come across that way especially in comparison with your average unhinged PPC agent, but I promise, still waters run very, very deep ;P I'm glad the cultural details were cool because I also think he and Christianne are sorta foils to one another in terms of cultural competence -- Christianne was created when I was actively running away from my culture, and LSY is now the product of me running back towards it. I don't fully intend on putting Christianne and Eledhwen in cold storage so to speak, since with the whole John rehabilitation thing they may show up in interludes -- it's just, if/when I do get around to tackling "Sxytmes wth Wngx*an", LSY will be taking point on it. E and C won't be doing missions anymore :P

And as for LSY interacting with others, that's actually the topic of the next batch of interludes I'm co-writing with Zing! You're going to see the dinner unfold, haha

Yes! I've been chatting with hS about the new DAS, so I'm hoping to get more into that (I had a thought of Lori and Bill doing something like this blog post from these two scientists who ate fly agaric) and besides, Lori shows up in parts 3 and 4 of the backstory stitch-up. Also the Floaters that had been trapped in the Mirror Multiverse in IAHF2, too! I'm looking forward to being able to give them all some screen time.

Thank you again for reading! I really enjoy your thoughts on the things I write!

Bah still got the pronunciation wrong! by doctorlit on 2021-08-17 12:55:05 UTC Reply

But I've never studied Chinese pronunciation, so I suppose that's to be expected.

I'm fairly certain I have your previous Last Mission hidden on my hard drive somewhere, but I won't be able to check until my computer is working again. If I find that I don't, I may pester you for it later, if that's okay?

I may not have phrased things well. I didn't mean to call LSY straight boring, but rather that he presented as unusually simple by your standards, which made me suspect there was more going on to him than first glance showed. Sorry!

And wow, that mushroom experiment was scary to read. Makes me glad I'm averse to trying unfamiliar foods!

—doctorlit has never once tripped on microwaveable pizza

Yes, feel free! by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-17 13:50:40 UTC Reply

I've definitely dove back in and tweaked some stuff (like streamlined the chargelist scene) since then, so if you want the updated version, I can chuck it over to you. Also, I've been meaning to ask if you have backups of IAHF/MSFBA, in case I need to transfer them to AO3 if FFN goes belly up (there's been some mutterings in that way recently), so we can do a little trade :'D

No worries about your inexperience with Chinese pronunciation! It's a pretty steep learning curve even before you factor in the tones haha. All that matters honestly is that you make an honest effort. C's just complaining about Lux calling her Shay-shay (which would also probably be how most non-Chinese speakers approximate saying 'thank you' in Chinese haha) :P

I thought it was amusing, really! And honestly, it tells me I'm doing my job correctly, since he has many walls and how everyone else approaches those walls will be pretty fun to write.

As someone who'll try a lot of things at least once, I have to admit I'm Curious about fly agaric, but not Morbidly Curious enough to go and try eating one. Wonder what you'd say about Japanese pizza, though, with all their crazy corn and mayo toppings!

I'm fairly certain I have all your stories backed up, by doctorlit on 2021-08-18 03:42:24 UTC Reply

including the OFUs. Won't be able to check for certain until I figure out why my computer tower won't turn on any more. (I give advance warning, though: my archive "process" is "copy-paste all the words of each story into a single giant Word document." But hopefully they won't be too difficult to sort through? . . .) I'll send them over as soon as I can, though. I would love the update to the pre-finale, as well! : )

I have to admit, I'm pretty juvenile about trying new foods, so I'm most comfortable with plain cheese pizza. <.< And I'm not really interested in hallucinations, either; the conscious world is hectic enough for my mind!

—doctorlit's computer clearly picked a very convenient time to fail

Yes, send them over whenever you can! by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-18 15:22:45 UTC Reply

You may have my email still; if not, we do share some Discord servers so you can hunt me down there anytime :P

Know nothing about the canon; loved it anyway. by Ekwy on 2021-08-16 08:05:53 UTC Reply

This had such an abundance of excellent references and great lines! Particularly fond of an early one, the 'my wife is a bitch and I like her so much' embroidery, but there were plenty to enjoy!

I have a fondness for Suvians that take canon (or semi-canon in this case with the unoffical English translation) straight up and just... replace a few things and make it all about them. It is incomprehensible logic and I can't help but find it a little endearing. Is this what they think all fanfiction is? Maybe it's the equivalent of keeping the training wheels on when writing so you don't have to think of a plot of your own. I can almost forgive it for that. Almost.

In any case, I also loved every single misspellings joke. There were so many, and they were funny every single time. The rumers made me laugh out loud!

Looking forward to reading more.

/Ekwy

John Mulaney references abound in the Shieh-Elerossiel household! by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-16 15:04:17 UTC Reply

Mostly just Christianne yelling this at other people re: Eledhwen:

or saying:

But still! I'm glad you enjoyed it despite not knowing the canon (but you could, starting this December! Or earlier, if you watch the drama on Netflix :P Definitely not a hint ;P). And I agree, the fics where they just straight up copy-paste the books and then add their own flourishes are very entertaining. I think I myself have been guilty of a couple of those back in the day. Thankfully that was at least five computer hard drives ago.

Anyway, wow, yaaaay thank you for reading! Looking forward to writing more!

/takes a break from laughing to leave a review by SMF on 2021-08-15 15:35:52 UTC Reply

This was a wonderful reminder of why your missions (and just your writing in general) were some of my favorites.

The humor! The timing! (The intermixing of the fic with the Agents asking certain questions absolutely slayed me)

Never will 'abyss' look the same to me again.

I'm already a fan of MDZS, but based on the CAD's input here, I really should check out SVSSS as well!

Thank you muchly for your words and time,

~SMF

You like MDZS? Nice! by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-15 15:49:34 UTC Reply

Zing's also gotten into MDZS... and with the official English translation beginning its release at the end of the year, I hope more Boarders get into it too! ~~Liu Siyuan could use some help handling that fic explosion~~

Yeah, SVSSS has huge Suedom energy, so I definitely recommend it! It's a bit of the redheaded stepchild of MXTX's novels, but I feel like the PPC in general would enjoy it as an introduction to the xianxia/danmei genre.

Glad you enjoyed the mission!! ~~Nesh found me a cached copy of "Sxytmes Wth Wngx*an" so I'm back on the chopping block for missioning that :P~~

I deeply enjoyed this mission. Great work! (nm) by Kittyauthor on 2021-08-13 12:38:38 UTC Reply

Thank you for reading! I'm glad you liked it! (nm) by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-14 14:52:55 UTC Reply

I enjoyed reading this! (nm) by Tomash on 2021-08-10 04:06:42 UTC Reply

Thank you! (nm) by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-13 08:23:33 UTC Reply

Can I have the "air like dagger" for one of my agents? (nm) by ClaireBook1 on 2021-08-09 16:59:23 UTC Edited Reply

This was funny and very wacky. How is it possible for a Gary Stu to turn into a shrew and then have a Sauron eye and all of the other ridiculousness that happens in the badfic?

Anything is possible with the Words. by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-17 13:41:18 UTC Reply

Word Worlds are pure creative energy, and when utilised correctly, create wonderful experiences. When misused by Suvians and their ilk, we get strange things like shrews with the Eye of Sauron. It's a foundational part of a PPC mission.

Thank you for reading! You may have the air-like dagger.
FYI, it would've been more polite to give a review before asking. by Neshomeh on 2021-08-13 04:23:35 UTC Reply

It's also a good investment in social currency to comment on other people's stories if you want other people to comment on yours when you have them. {= )

~Neshomeh

This was a fun one! by Zingenmir on 2021-08-09 10:10:39 UTC Reply

I certainly had a good time reading it as I betaed, especially since I somehow did the last betaing in one 8 page and one 65 page sitting >.> I think that probably worked so well because I kept laughing. It's been good to see you and Christianne and Eledhwen pop up again, and it's interesting to see how they've grown since they were active agents--you touched on that directly in the mission, in a number of ways, which intensified that.

Anyway, you already know my thoughts overall. Just know that I laughed at a bunch more places than I mentioned in the final (proper) betaing, sometimes aloud.

Also: I'll happily take QuingheNie, if no one else has gotten there in the time it took me to write this post!

~Z

I mean, thanks to you and Nesh it flows better now! by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-13 08:23:14 UTC Reply

So I'm grateful to you for that, and all the millions of other ideas we've had along the way ;P

Yes, you can have QuingheNie! Liu Siyuan will be by momentarily to deliver him to the care of your agents ;P

I've been silent on this board since the beginning of this year, but I have to talk about this by Jean Yeap on 2021-08-09 03:12:16 UTC Reply
Favourite moments include:
- “You kick Sizhui?” hissed Liu Siyuan. “You kick his body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Tommy! Jail for Tommy for one thousand years!”
- “Tell me, where is I Have Real Estate?” wondered Eledhwen in an eerie impersonation of Lady Galadriel. “For I much desire to give him a piece of my mind.”
- Unlike in canon, the donkey and millstone were connected by a bemused-looking German Baroque composer. -【我只通报重要议题而类。 OOC就是OOC!】
- That CAD in general
I admit, I lost interest in PPC missions a few months ago, but this might be enough to draw me back into a mission-binge. I love the writing style and the references, as well as the creativity with interpreting various typos. Agent Liu Siyuan is a character I would have had a crush on a year ago, if not for my sudden fascination with eldritch abominations.

This answers a lot of questions I had about translated fic missions too, so thanks for this gift to the world. Being able to read the snatches of Chinese also makes me feel very smug.

I wish you safe travels in your future, in the literary world or not. May inspiration always be your friend.

Aww, thank you! by Lily Winterwood on 2021-08-13 08:20:55 UTC Reply

I'm glad you enjoyed it, and that I've inspired you to read other missions again as well. I don't recall being around when you joined the Board, so have some lemming repellent!

I'm tickled that you liked Liu Siyuan. I have a tendency to like writing his style of character (Eledhwen at times, Spock, Movie!Thorin, Lan Wangji) so I've been having fun writing him. I've found that Christianne sort of represented my younger self's wanting to assimilate into Western culture as a young immigrant, so Liu Siyuan is more of me becoming a bit more comfortable with my background. I'm glad the Scumbag System CAD readouts were like an easter egg for you ;)

I hope you're doing well! Have fun reading stuff!