But those crates are heavy!

Subject: But those crates are heavy!
Author: Gall Knutson
Posted on: 2021-10-11 22:07:04 UTC

Ugh, fine, I'll transport them myself. But I want a case of chocolate as a handling fee. The good stuff, not some crud out of a replicator or something. My world is basically "Earth but with dragons" and you can't prove it doesn't have chocolate, so there.

As for the mind traps, sounds fun, but I prefer good old blunt-force trauma. If you wanna buy Sue-hair off me, though, I can get you some nice, long, blonde ones from a cat-girl!Sue, no less. Derik and I got her a few years ago, so I don't know how the heck we keep finding her hairs on our clothes, but genuine cat-girl hair has to be worth extra, right?

Reply Return to messages

Jump to this post's position in the thread ↴

Hello all by Leto Haven on 2021-10-11 05:13:51 UTC RP Reply

Hi all, just here to wish a very happy Thanksgiving to all.

Bleeprin is on sale at half price for the next hour, or until supplies run out, at the PPC general Store.

Chocolate is still off limits to all not species that does not have it in their continuum. This rule is strictly enforced by Smeagul and Pheonix. Do not try and cross them….

Leto

Hi Leto! by Huinesoron on 2021-10-11 21:16:02 UTC Reply

It's really good to see you! The General Store is one of the earliest spinoff I remember reading, and I...

... ah.

I maaaay need to apologise to you, because I borrowed Leto the proprietor for a bit last year. wrote a piece for me in the Guide to New Caledonia (it's the one called 'Stop Giving Them Your Money: Shopping in New Cal (is a bad idea)'. I hope he didn't come out too far off the mark, but now I'm worried. :O

(Somewhat further back, I also wrote an argument in the General Store. It's a fun place to set occasional scenes. ^_^ Thank you for creating it.)

... oh yes, and I remembered you when the original Board was closing down.

(Now, where do you keep the jam-filled lembas? Aisle four, wasn't it...?)

hS

The store any my namesake by Leto Haven on 2021-10-11 21:30:44 UTC Reply

Are both up for general use. Just please to abuse my minis too much, lol.

It will be fun reading about what I have been up too…..

The jam-filled lembas is in the newly redone bakery. I finally figured out how to use the heat of rolling authors to heat the ovens. We need to dissipate the heat somehow, or we are going to be in a heat catastrophe due to the Sues.

The quantum mechanics of it was starting to hurt my mind.

Leto

Hey, puddin’! by Thalia Quinn on 2021-10-11 20:59:16 UTC Reply

You got bat-polish? Or some kind of polish? My bat’s looking smudged and I can’t have that.

Wing polish…. by Leto Haven on 2021-10-11 21:14:00 UTC Reply

I have a brand I use for my mini-balrog, not sure if that would be of interest.

Hmmm...maybe by Thalia Quinn on 2021-10-14 21:40:17 UTC Reply

How much does it cost? I don’t have a lot of money, unless you take bubblegum wrappers for payment.

Cost by Leto Haven on 2021-10-15 02:54:00 UTC Reply

Ah costs, they can range in many things. A particularly fun story is a good payment (if I get the movie rights) to the scent of a fantastic flower (corpse flower included, though in sealed container).

Imagination keeps the doors and the General Store's pocket dimensions open. The more inventive the product, the more it buys!

~Leto

Ooo, I know! by Thalia Quinn on 2021-10-15 22:00:36 UTC Reply

Would a genuine orc cutlass work? I stole it off Azog the Defiler!

Don’t really want to step on the armoury’s toes… by Leto Haven on 2021-10-19 03:48:56 UTC Reply

If it is blunted, I can sell it as an art piece.

I can make it blunt! by Thalia Quinn on 2021-10-19 21:45:22 UTC Reply

Give me a few seconds...

Do you have tea? Earl Grey to be specific, but if you don't I'll take generic black tea... by ClaireBook1 on 2021-10-11 20:05:31 UTC Reply

or whatever you have. Happy Thanksgiving. (Hi. I'm Claire. I'm one of the newer newbies around here. :))

Tea…. by Leto Haven on 2021-10-11 21:12:42 UTC Reply

Which verse are you thinking from? There seams to be a shortage from the mundane world at the moment, something about a plague going around there or something.

Drat. I was thinking of regular non-carnivorous tea aka Camellia sinensis. by ClaireBook1 on 2021-10-11 22:45:51 UTC Reply

I guess some sort of herbal tea such as mint tea would work. I want to try adding Bleeprin to it.

((Drat. I just realized that this is an RP thread... by ClaireBook1 on 2021-10-12 00:45:57 UTC Reply

...and I may have just accidentally created a PPC agent clone of myself. -Claire))

I have Bleeprinaide, by Leto Haven on 2021-10-15 02:57:06 UTC Reply

I know it is a lemon base, but it has been a repeatedly popular new product with a couple agents.

if only they remember buying it the last time....

~Leto

So this is Bleeprin mixed with lemonade? Hmm... What will you take for it? (nm) by ClaireBook1 on 2021-10-15 17:12:23 UTC Reply

Bow string made of Sue hair. by Leto Haven on 2021-10-15 18:54:18 UTC Reply

They are very accurate, who ever heard of a Sue missing her mark?

I don't have any, unfortunately. Will you accept a story and/or some poems instead? (nm) by ClaireBook1 on 2021-10-15 20:02:49 UTC Reply

Of course! (nm) by Leto Haven on 2021-10-19 03:45:05 UTC Reply

Here's your poem. by ClaireBook1 on 2021-10-19 18:02:59 UTC Edited Reply

written on the back of an envelope in messy but legible cursive

.

I must go back to the library again

Back to shelves stuffed with books

So I can sail in a sea of words

And backwards I will never look.

So why do you care if I am still there

Reading till half past three?

I don’t care if I am still there

Inexcusably late for tea.

For I have to find out what came about

In this book that you see.

Oh if only you knew what it was too

You’d be book obsessed like me.

Thank you. by The Pighead on 2021-10-11 15:56:02 UTC Reply

And have a good Thanksgiving, too!

Have some pumpkin pie! (nm) by Leto Haven on 2021-10-11 21:34:24 UTC Reply

Leto! {= D by Neshomeh on 2021-10-11 15:39:58 UTC Reply

Long time no see! How's it going?

You missed the Big PPC Reunion Thread earlier this year, but maybe this will kick off another one. Hey, I can dream. And I am very thankful for every time old friends come by to visit. {= )

BTW, to help out any confused newbies, Leto Haven is both a distinguished oldbie and his character of the same name. They are responsible for writing/running the PPC General Store (which also serves OFUM and other members of the Canon Protection Initiative).

~Neshomeh

Hey! by Leto Haven on 2021-10-11 15:51:49 UTC Reply

Hi, I was enjoying the blank stares that I was getting Neshomeh. Hehehe.

Been good, trying to do this adulting thing. Interesting to see who is still here and what has changed (ie, the whole board location!!!!111). As for the reunion thread, darn! That would have been fun.

Leto

((And now, IC... )) Yo, Leto! by Gall Knutson on 2021-10-11 18:58:50 UTC Edited Reply

I've got your next order of Monstrous Nightmare Gel all ready to go. Can you please remember not to send the mini-Balrogs to pick it up this time? I have a kid. The risk of blowing up the RC is way less funny than it used to be.

I'll take my usual supply of Dragon Chow, and if you ever happen to come across a bottle of that one Pernese wine, whatsit, Bended or something, would you let me be the first to know? I wanna see what all the fuss is about, and also it would make amazing partner-bribing material.

(( That's Benden wine, red, to be exact. ^_^

(( Adulting is hard. Best of luck with that!

~Neshomeh ))

(( ETA: Missing word. Also, our new Board has an edit function! ))

Will see what I can do about the wine. by Leto Haven on 2021-10-11 21:42:37 UTC Reply

Please leave the Monstrous Nightmare Gel in the receiving bay. Your chow should be back there with your name on it, if not I will send the minis back there to get it for you.

Have you seen my newest supply of mind traps? They work well for binding Sues in there own logical fallacies. Cheep too! Only need lockets of Sue hair for them, wilver or urple hair makes the best quality ones.

But those crates are heavy! by Gall Knutson on 2021-10-11 22:07:04 UTC Reply

Ugh, fine, I'll transport them myself. But I want a case of chocolate as a handling fee. The good stuff, not some crud out of a replicator or something. My world is basically "Earth but with dragons" and you can't prove it doesn't have chocolate, so there.

As for the mind traps, sounds fun, but I prefer good old blunt-force trauma. If you wanna buy Sue-hair off me, though, I can get you some nice, long, blonde ones from a cat-girl!Sue, no less. Derik and I got her a few years ago, so I don't know how the heck we keep finding her hairs on our clothes, but genuine cat-girl hair has to be worth extra, right?

Hmmmmm by Leto Haven on 2021-10-11 23:29:57 UTC Reply

Heavy they may be, use the forklift. If not comfortable with that, there is a pallet jack…..

Cat-grrl hair is extra effective on those with animalistic features, yes. I will take a kilo if you have it. I never said blunt force trauma was a bad thing, but sometimes you need a way to get close to the sue in question. Also, splatter stains do take a bit to get out.

As for the chocolate, papers please.

You'd let me drive a forklift? by Gall Knutson on 2021-10-12 02:34:11 UTC Reply

I mean, I was gonna make Derik make his Space Marine buddy do the heavy lifting for a couple chocolate bars, but hey, if you wanna give me the keys to heavy machinery and chocolate, cool! There's EU stuff with dragons that smell like chocolate and a place called Chocolate Falls. Those couldn't exist if chocolate itself didn't also exist, so pay up!

A kilo of hair is a big ask, but if we start collecting them, who knows? As a personal favor to you, because you've been such a great business partner, I'll sell you every one I can find. It won't be that easy for me. That stuff gets places you don't want to know about. It's the worst. But for you and three units of store credit per hair, I'll make that sacrifice.

(( Careful, Leto. At this rate, she'll have half the store next. ^_~ ))

Hmmmm, guess I can part with the chocolate by Leto Haven on 2021-10-12 04:21:31 UTC Reply

But only the pure dark bitter stuff. Wouldn’t want to give you indigestion with the milk chocolate.

You missed the quotation for the hair. It is one credit per kilo, the hair isn’t that rare after all.

Oh, and if there is any damage on the loading dock, Pheonix will be there to make sure you personally fix everything…

Leto! I thought we were friends! by Gall Knutson on 2021-10-15 22:31:30 UTC Reply

100% cacao is totally inedible. Come on, man, I got a kid I have to share with—and I just found out my home universe is getting a new series set in stupid modern times, too, so I got bitterness to spare. Have a heart!

Never mind that getting a kilo of Sue hair is impossible because it's naturally weightless so it doesn't give them neck problems; when's the last time anybody came to you with cat-girl anything? I say they're a dying breed and I'm cutting my own throat if I settle for anything less than two credits for three hairs. They're from her head, and they're at least two feet long. Think what you could do with those!

We are, but I also have a business to run. by Leto Haven on 2021-10-19 03:47:09 UTC Reply

I was even giving you a deal. You know how the supply chain is doing right now. Do you want to completely ruin me?

Do you have joss paper and red ink on sale? I appear to have run out. by Liu Siyuan on 2021-10-11 08:22:52 UTC Reply

And of course I cannot get any of that at the Inconvenience Store, as that would be too convenient for me.

Hmmm by Leto Haven on 2021-10-11 14:04:49 UTC Reply

Hmmmm, I have a packet or two next to the exorcism candles I think. As for the ink, seem to only have deep red or distilled sue blood. Wouldn’t go with the blood though, the effects are….. unpredictable……

Deep red should suffice. by Liu Siyuan on 2021-10-11 16:50:03 UTC Reply

Sue Blood would counteract the effects of the intended exorcism, which I did find out the hard way once. Incidentally, for completely unrelated purposes, would you happen to know who runs the Inconvenience Store? There is a rumour it is you just trying to repackage unwanted General Store stock, but you are clearly not as dedicated to inconveniencing customers...

((Hi! Nice to have you back, though I think I might've missed you the first time around -- I was here 2008-2014. ~Lily Winterwood))

Ink by Leto Haven on 2021-10-11 21:23:15 UTC Reply

Here you go.

The cost is the potion ingredients for the a bag of holding. I am getting low on those right now.

And, no. I do not run the Inconvenience Store. Is there a doppelgänger of me?

(I was active til about 2010, should ask about the totally random sock request of 2002/2003)

Luke

I do not have ingredients for a standard Bag of Holding, by Liu Siyuan on 2021-10-11 23:54:01 UTC Reply

but I do have extra qiankun bags I picked up from my last mission. They function in much the same way, though I would advise against trying to trap spirits in them -- those would be the purview of a Spirit-Trapping Pouch, which I also have extras of.

It appears there might be? Of course, whenever I attempt to contact the proprietor of the Inconvenience Store about some thing I have purchased, they are never there...

((2010 was roughly when I was away writing the International Academy of Hetalia Fanfiction, so I was not completely on the Board then, haha! ~Lily))

Happy to be of service by Leto Haven on 2021-10-12 04:25:48 UTC Reply

Though complaints and returns are handled by Smeagul the mini-balrog.

Blink blink by Ki no Shirayuki on 2021-10-11 05:56:12 UTC Edited Reply

Blink

Hi, in need of help? by Leto Haven on 2021-10-11 14:07:12 UTC Reply

Hi, looking for something in particular? Or just recovering from the latest effects of Bleeprin?