Looks like the agents' journey is getting longer than expected. The badfic contains a fair amount of objectionable content, so beware.

I like seeing Kaguya interact more in the mission.

Also, 20 mousetraps is an awful prank.

~Ozzielot

Your sense of humor is very unique, as is your writing style. The fact that you went the extra mile with mouseover explanations and a theme for the blog is very good. Can't wait for more!

The result of a plot bunny: a snippet of 'guya's hotel experiences in the past. Momo does not appear, though I also have plans for a solo interlude for her. Featuring the debut of a very special character.

I've never heard of Onmyōji, but I think you did a good job of explaining through the narration and agents' dialogue how far from canon this fic got. I can see what the author was going for, basically a trans-dimensional snatching to take Ichimokuren out of the video game, but using the in-universe term "human dimension" makes it pretty confusing. It is nice to see zookeepers show up in a fic for once, although wow do they seem to have a lot of time to chat at work! I'm a little sad that Uminari's keeper identity got erased by the reality room, but oh well.

As a general note about your spin-off, I like that you use the actual fic's chapter titles as dividers. It reinforces the feeling that the agents are actually in a story, and that they're more at its mercy than they are within their own narrative.

There were a few sentences I noticed where you had dialogue end with a period when leading into a dialogue tag. A comma should be used there instead. these are the ones I caught:

"'Kaguya-sama, I think I am about to barf.' Momoka added weakly."

"'We will explain later.' the man said to him."

"'Many warm greetings to you.' said Kaguya as though . . ."

"'Everything is fine.' said Kaguya."

—doctorlit, about to go zookeeper within the hour

I don't think I have the cultural competence to adopt him but I would be curious about his interactions with, say, a Chinese cultivator. (ETA because I meant to say this earlier and utterly forgot to: his inadvertent equating HQ with hell is hilarious and very true.)

That being said, interesting mission. Nella sounds like a pain with her horrid pranks. You do a nice job of sparing us most of the gory details, but I think I'd like to see a bit more Kaguya and Momoka interacting with each other rather than just complaining at the fic. It might help set the scene for bigger character arcs and trajectories throughout these missions, if that's something you're interested in doing. Based off of the ending scene in Medical, you've got an arc going for Momoka's worries about being helpless on a mission, so I look forward to seeing how she handles it and whether or not that does eventually equate to a change in her current dynamic with Kaguya.

(Another ETA I keep meaning to ask: since your characters are Japanese, what are their opinions regarding the Inconvenience Store? :'D)