Subject: Thoughts
Posted on: 2022-05-10 05:17:02 UTC

  • The beginning, including what Moria's up to and the bits about doughnuts and instant noodles, are very nice setup!
  • I wonder if Moira does actually need to talk to someone. (Update: she probably does)
  • Autumn has a point about Blank not needing to go alone.
  • Mellon is a cute crow.
  • I like Blank and Autumn's relationship.
  • Poor Mellon, having to stay behind.
  • Apostrophe catastrophe. Heh.
  • Neat description of Snape's flickering face.
  • "Not Rose" ... you have a point
  • Moira is right - there could be an interesting premise there
  • I like what a story being abandoned for a long time does to the world
  • ... and the bit with Monky
  • The unformatted chapter is an oof
  • The scene with the orc line is an understandable reaction we don't see too often
  • And I liked the attempt to help and the kill scene
  • ... I was not expecting Buddy to be a thing

Overall, this was a really nice take on a PPC mission with some neat stuff I haven't seen before (that I can remember)! I enjoyed reading

  • Tomash

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