Subject: 5 Fan Fiction Sex Scenes You Won't Believe Exist
Author:
Posted on: 2012-09-01 20:10:00 UTC
From Cracked.com. Figured this was worth pointing out to you.
http://www.cracked.com/article199925-fan-fiction-sex-scenes-you-wont-believe-exist.html
Ah..guh...Wha...
Oh my poor, poor eyes...
I can't play Tetris now. Ever again. And I can't read Ann Frank's diary. Or hear anyone doing the Super Seiyan power up noise. All the things I will never be able to even think of again. God, I need bleeprin.
I have to admit that I heard of the Snape/Teletubbies fanfic but never actually read it and as for the Anne Frank/Goku fanfic all I have to say is AHHHHHH!!! Who is the twisted soul who wrote this! Why I don't even think it was human being! I think it was a Hitler brain! A Hitler brain that wanted to troll the Internet by writing this, this...(the author of this post is currently suffering from mild hemorrhaging in the frontal lobe, please leave a message).
Congratulations: this is now only one of the top ten reasons that I will never watch Hannibal Lecter. Ever. Because, frankly, what are these writers on?
That I had already heard of the Dragon Ball Z/ Anne Frank one. I had been looking for dramatic readings of bad fanfics and when I listened to that one I couldn't stop laughing. It's just too horrible not to be funny. Also, that Death Note/ Tetris one is both the weirdest and the most plausible in my opinion because Mello already acted like he was on something during the manga.
In a weird juvenile way, I guess it kind of makes sense. When you read her diary and you know she died in the holocaust, you want to save her. And if you happen to be a Dragon Ball Z fan, maybe you write a story where Goku goes and saves her and they live happily ever after. However bad the writing, I can sympathize with the desire to change history and make it all better somehow.
For me, the weirdest was the Tetris/Death Note thing. How do you--why would you even---ugh.
...what could possibly be sexually attractive about brightly-colored blocks that explode in a flash of light when they make a complete line. And why Mello? Granted, he looks a bit...smokey (never read the manga, so I'm going off looks), but why him, of all characters?
I'm confuzzled.
Because, seriously, WTF?
I pity the poor Agents who are going to kill those things.
Agreed.
I fear for the Agents who get these - we may have another flamethrower incident, quite frankly.
...For me, it was either the Snape-boinks-the-Teletubbies (and becomes inexplicably gangster) one or the Goku-hooks-up-with-Anne-Frank-and-kills-apparently-Saiyan-Hitler one.