Subject: Have read.
Posted on: 2022-07-22 16:59:24 UTC

Being on a train for a whole day affords me some time for this!

I'm enjoying this peek into a new canon. The scenes feel a little disconnected, though, and not just the one with the time-skip to the Stu's transformation. Using the game images to accompany scene changes is nice, but don't forget to narrate them, too, especially since not all readers may be able to view images for one reason or another.

Lux being here is really what got me interested in reading this, and I like a lot of how you're writing her. Pointing out that the Stu being male doesn't mean there won't be canon-lusting was much appreciated, and her take on Ursula's sexiness was great. (Like many Disney villains, she's a queer icon, too!) She seems less airheaded than usual, though, and I miss that unfocussed bubbliness to her personality. The part where she gets distracted by the hotness of all the various school uniforms felt the most in-character for her, but it didn't seem to take much effort to get here back on track. IMO, working with Lux should always be both an education and a blissful disaster. {= )

Still, I'll be sure to tune in for part 3!

~Neshomeh, on vacation.

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