Subject: re: crossover
Author:
Posted on: 2022-09-16 03:44:27 UTC

This is quite an interesting read! We're so used to mission elements, like temporal distortion and lack of description, being talked about in the familiar terms that the PPC uses. But seeing those things get described from the point of view of a character unfamiliar with the tropes and details really sheds a new light on how bizarre missions can get, and how almost cosmic horror-esque some of the word manifestations can be. Fogg is a fun character, a perfect blend of unreliable narrator and narrator who honestly doesn't realize how tacky he is. The recruitment occurred unusually fast, even by the PPC's standards, but I understand such a short story couldn't dwell too long on introductions, plus, it's just a lot funnier this way. I was also amused by the date headings: how the numerical date advances, but the days of the week go wildly off-kilter.

Some maybe errors?
And so it was dear readers, that I find myself upon my birthday setting down to paper the start of a brand new journal.
This sentence contains two tenses!

. . . or when I was worshipped by a god in the Carpathian mountains?
Not sure if this is a mistake or an intentional subversion of the more usual "worshipped as a god." Just wanted to check!

We had been transported into a badfic, a canon world prevented by terrible writing . . .
I don't think that's the word you wanted . . .

That was the point Toni realised that he hadn't been the showers only occupant.
The pronoun gender got swapped, and "shower's" is missing the apostrophe.

As the door closed behind me I did here the woman chastise someone called Wallis for dripping all over the carpet and I wondered if perhaps that was the Ewoks name.
"Ewok's" is missing the apostrophe, and that should be "hear" rather than "here."

—doctorlit had a very fun day tubing down salt river with coworkers, but he is very tired and on his way to a crash soon

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