Thanks for linking that.

I plan to stop consuming all forms of fiction when I'm in my 30s. by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2022-11-23 16:07:36 UTC Reply

Given my current tastes in fiction and characters, it is unfortunate that carrying those tastes past the age of 29 would be unacceptably creepy. Therefore, I have decided to stop getting into new works starting today, and eventually stop consuming fiction altogether at some point in my 30s in order to avoid creepy tendencies. That means no games, no books, no films, no TV series, no fanfic, no nothing. I'm seeking comm advice on how to start a "weaning off" regime.

I assume this is related to your old post... by Ekwy on 2022-11-23 23:15:58 UTC Reply

...about when it starts being creepy to have a preference for youthful-looking characters? I really don't think the answer is to cut fiction from your life completely. That would mean removing 95% of all available entertainment for the next fifty years of your life; I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

I second what others have said about broadening your horizons and finding more types of characters in different genres. Young characters are not the only characters out there. (Nor is it always necessary to be attracted to a character in order to like them.) Surely this Board can help when it comes to tips on entertainment starring characters older than teenagers!

(As I grew up I kind of stopped crushing on fictional characters at all, if that helps? I can still have a nostalgic fondness for a certain type of character, but it is nowhere there the adoration I felt as a teen or even in my twenties. Not saying that this is what always happens, I suppose, but I am saying it did happen to me.)

You are still allowed to engage with content that you like. You can like whatever characters you want. You don't have to punish yourself. Fandom is for everyone.

Thanks for linking that. by Neshomeh on 2022-11-23 23:58:31 UTC Reply

I was thinking it might be helpful for other people to share in that context.

And, Yuki, I stand by what Ekwy and I said at that time: fictional characters ==/== real people. The only way crushing on a fictional character becomes a problem is if it becomes an obsession that hurts your quality of life. If you find that is the case—or if you're concerned that your preferences for fiction are tied to something else that could harm you or others—then I recommend following Scapegrace's advice: seek qualified help for the underlying issue.

~Neshomeh

Thank you, and everyone who replied in this thread, for the supportive comments 😊 (nm) by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2022-11-24 00:02:57 UTC Reply

What do you mean? by Linstar on 2022-11-23 22:49:44 UTC Reply

Why would being older prevent you from enjoying any fiction at all? Just...why? Enjoying fiction doesn’t mean having crushes on the characters.

And... no fiction at all? Seriously?

I think you’re overreacting. A lot.

—Ls
There’s literally no rule that fandom is only for young people. by Lily Winterwood on 2022-11-23 21:48:55 UTC Edited Reply

Like I am pretty sure Astolat, founder of AO3 and also bestselling author Naomi Novik, is well past her thirties now, and she still writes fanfic on AO3.

Who do you think creates the stories you love? Definitely not all people under age 30. Why is it that they can become successful doing that, but for yourself it would be unacceptably creepy?

I’m sorry if this sounds combative but this is literally the sort of ageist rhetoric I run into with anti-shipper circles elsewhere on the internet. Those people use this as a cudgel for harassing people away from enjoying their hobbies, and you deserve better than that. If the idea of giving up fandom makes you miserable, don’t do it.

If you do think you’re outgrowing your current genre of fandom, then you could just consider trying out other genres. If you’d rather move out from Japanese animation, you could try J-Dramas instead. For me personally, (I’m not in my 30s yet but I will be approaching it within the next decade) I consume mostly nonfiction like historical books and documentaries, but once in a while I do pick up some new fiction that my friends recommend. Not all of them make me want to write fanfic, though, and that’s also fine.

But I don’t think you should quit fandom just because someone else on the internet thinks it’s creepy for people (often women) past a certain age to be in fandom. Adults are the people who built fandom.
What? by Scapegrace on 2022-11-23 21:38:18 UTC Reply

No, seriously, what?

That is the most deranged pile of old cobblers I've seen on the internet today, and the internet has Elon Musk fans in it. You are not prevented from engaging with and enjoying fiction. You just have to be cognisant of your own foibles and work on yourself. The course of action you suggest is treating the symptom and not the actual cause; if it's that much of a problem for you that you were considering something as drastic as never consuming fiction again, then you need to seek a licensed therapist who can direct you to further help (support groups &c) if you need them.
I also question the premise by Thoth on 2022-11-23 18:52:49 UTC Reply

Who decides what is "unacceptably creepy"? By all means, broaden your horizons, find new things to read and seek out, that's always a good idea, but I really do not understand the idea that it's just Unacceptable to be a fan of a certain work past a certain age.

Seconding this. by Sergio Turbo on 2022-11-23 22:44:06 UTC Reply

By what I understood of Ki's position, if I applied the same reasoning to me I (31yo male) shouldn't follow Carcaptor Sakura anymore because ew, a grown up male reading a story about a 13 years old magical girl is creepy!

I don't give a crap - especially since the values expressed in CCS actually should warrant a read by pretty much anyone. That series taught me a lot when I was a kid, and is still teaching me now. The only way I would see this actually being a problem was if I were to actually develop some kind of obsession over oneof the characters, especially the underage ones, but even then just moving away from the relevant piece of media should suffice, not a blanket ban on everything

That would entail living a very sad and unfun life.

I prefer to be called Yuki, thanks ^^ by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2022-11-23 23:15:24 UTC Reply

And thanks for the kind words 😉

I'm not sure this community can help with that. by Neshomeh on 2022-11-23 18:17:26 UTC Reply

The PPC is sort of predicated on loving fiction. I couldn't help someone quit all fiction forever, because I can't fathom doing so myself.

May I suggest broadening your horizons instead? For instance, have you tried historical fiction? It's not something I really understood when I was younger, but since becoming an Old Grump, I've noticed there's really good stuff there! For instance, Gates of Fire by Stephen Pressfield, pretty much anything by Ken Follett (though I might start with the Pillars of the Earth series), or to head back toward mythology a bit, Sword at Sunset or anything else by Rosemary Sutcliff. These authors all share the ability to capture the humanity of their subjects so well they come to life, and tell beautiful, heartrending stories.

If that's not your cup of tea, it's okay. There's loads of excellent mature fiction out there. You might just have to explore a bit to find the next thing for you. My advice is simply don't be afraid to try.

~Neshomeh