Subject: 73 years later...
Author:
Posted on: 2024-09-04 19:43:22 UTC
Sorry it took me so long to get to this. I volunteered as a back-up for a reason. >.>
Anyway! "Perchance to Dream" is an interesting story. It's not the only one I know of that features dreaming (or at least something like it; thinking of this one, if you don't mind going into it partly spoiled), but this one is on the lighter side for all it features maybe-hell. I enjoyed all the bizarre dream-like imagery and loosey-goosey transitions. The imagery came across clearly, despite being intentionally nonsensical. The collapse sequence was very good, and conveyed a sense of real danger despite Jiwon being pretty sure s(he) was dreaming. I wasn't completely convinced, myself, and given the ending, I'd say I was right not to be, haha. Will it remain a mystery? I would accept Charlie being able to turn up in dreams just because they think they can, but maybe it's a bard ability, too? Or maybe something else entirely was going on.
The one thing I'm not sure worked as intended is the characters feeling pain from their fur touching the hot floor. What confuses me is that specifically Jiwon's big, floofy tail and "where [Charlie's] fur touched ground" is described, not paw pads or anything else with nerve endings. Maybe that was a deliberate hint that the characters were not experiencing reality, but with that not being definitive, I'm left in doubt.
Incidentally, is the word "the" missing from "where their fur touched [the] ground," or is that a style thing? Just noticed while writing this.
All in all, nice work!
~Neshomeh