Just going to slip these in:

I will not tell Manwë to 'do the windy thing'.
I will not insinuate that Manwë and Varda are John and Rose from Homestuck.
-They don't even know what Homestuck is.
-I won't tell them what Homestuck is.
Nienna cannot bend tears.
Ulmo is not a Water-bender, nor is Manwë an Air-bender, nor is Yavanna an Earth-bender, nor is Aulë a Fire-bender.
-And Illúvatar is certainly not the Avatar.

N. All of the Eleven are forbidden within HQ.
- We don't need any agents on Allswell.
N+1. I will not open a portal to the Nevernever in HQ.
- If I do, I'm responsible for dealing with whatever comes through.
- And the damage.
N+2. I will not set up a fight between Harry Potter and Harry Dresden to "see what would happen".

X. Agent Saline must never be allowed to have a proper conversation with anyone bent on taking over the world.

X+1. I will not make any variation of the "I'd tap this" joke around agents or canons from the Magic: the Gathering 'verse.

- This is mostly for my own good.

X. Under no circumstances are Araminta Meliflua and General Zaroff to meet.

X+1. I will not attempt to use a Retief-verse Jaq as a magic carpet.

X+2. I will not introduce teenage James Potter to Gilda the Griffon.

X+3. If I am in a music shop on the Disc and every instrument has a number, I will NOT test any of the instruments.

- Nor will I buy the guitar labeled "1".

-I will not sell Smile Dip (from Gravity Falls) in Headquarters.
-I will not let BBC Sherlock and Watson meet any movie version of Sherlock and Watson
-I will not allow any blockbuster movie characters to meet cheap, knock-off versions of themselves (Iron Hero and Iron Man, for example)
-I will not do any of the following to get rid of paperwork
--Feed it to a mini
--Use it as mulch to feed the flowers
--Throw it into Mount Doom
--Use it as firewood
--Hide it in any enormous library
-I will not become one of Kiel'ndia Vel'Vloz'ress's princes or princesses.

I will not cause Father from Fullmetal Alchemist and Lord Voldemort to meet just to 'see what happens'.
- I will not give Voldemort a FMAverse Philosopher's Stone.
- Or Father a Potterverse one.
# I will not let Barry the Chopper (from Fullmetal Alchemist) and Dexter meet.

I am not allowed to let a Bolo MK XXXIII into the Mass Effect-verse.
-Or any verse without common laser weapons.
-Or any verse at all. They are PLANETARY siege units after all.

I must not introduce the Replicators from Stargate to the Marvel Avengers-verse.

- Adamantium and/or Vibranium Replicators would be a Very Bad Thing.

- In fact, no introducing the Replicators to any special metals from any continuum beyond their own.

Not allowed to sub-contract assassination missions to canonical mercenaries
- or non-canonical mercenaries
- or any in-universe Assassins' Guild
- or anyone for that matter

# Not allowed to anonymously send the message 'We are discovered, flee at once.' to any agent just to see how they react to it

I will not introduce Candace Flynn and Stacy Hirano to Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.
I will not put Sherlock Holmes and Inspector Javert into an interrogation room to 'see what happens'.
I am not allowed to dress as Mary Poppins while working in the Potterverse.
-Especially if I'm dealing with Voldemort.
I am not allowed to kidnap Arthur Kirkland, strip and bind him, and leave him as a present to BBC Irene Adler.
-When Mycroft said she was the dominatrix who brought a Nation to its knees, he didn't mean it literally.
In that same vein, introducing BBC Irene to Agent Lux is a Very Bad Idea.
I will not drop BBC Sherlock Holmes into the Labyrinth.
-He's only going to solve it, meet Jareth, and cause Something Very Bad.

I will not introduce Han Solo to Indiana Jones.

-In fact, if two characters are played by the same actor, introducing them would cause quite a bit of confusion.

1563: I will not whistle the tune to "Rainbow Factory" in the presence of any native of the MLP G4 continuum.
-Even if it is pretty catchy.

1564: I am not a chemist. Mixing Bleeproducts with Purple Stuff to make fireworks is strictly prohibited.

1565: I will not administer Eragon Shadeslayer Logicillin.

1566: I will not introduce Dr. Evil to the Evil Overlord list.
-Then again, he might not even understand it.

1567: I will not put Captain Beatty in a library "just to see what happens".
-I will be charged with arson.
--And billed for damages.

1568: No matter how good I am with animals, the Mechanical Hound is not to be approached.
-Beware its sting.

1561: I will not introduce Gamzee to Real World mind-altering substances.

- Zydrate is right out.

1561: I will not strand Sam and Dean Winchester in Gravity Falls.

- Nor will I strand Dipper and Mabel in the Supernaturalverse.

15XX: If Optimus Prime dies during a mission, I am not allowed to say "He always gets better" and ignore the matter.
- Yes, he canonically died and came back to life more than fifteen times already, but he would still need Medical for a check-up. And an oil change, maybe.

15XX+1: No matter how much I think Optimus Prime and Madoka Kaname would be good friends and how much it is true, they are from different canons and so I will not arrange a meeting.
- Besides, Madoka's currently a goddess present everywhere and everywhen in the multiverse, and Optimus spends a sizeable part of his existence in the afterlife. They probably already met.

15XX+2: It doesn't matter how disturbing it is, Tranformers Kiss Players is canon. I am not allowed to spork it.
- It would be a painful job, too.
- For the same reason, I am not allowed to force anyone to see it.

15XX+3: Fifty Shades Of Gray, despite being born as a Twilight fanfic, is currently a canon. I am not allowed to spork it.
- If I go rogue only to kill it, I will surrender to any PPC Agent sent to retrieve me. I will not try to make them join my cause.

1557: I am not allowed to arrange an 'arm wrestling' match between Treebeard and the Whomping Willow.

1558: I am not allowed to start a flame war between Karkat Vantas and Dogbert from Dilbert.
- This also goes for Catbert.
- And Eric Cartman.
- And pretty much any tool with access to the internet.

1559: I'm NOT ALLOWED to put butterfly wings on the Cullens so that I can 'prove' they're fairies.

1560: I am not allowed to give Hammy (Over the Hedge) caffeinated ANYTHING. This includes marshmallows, bacon, and lollipops.