Subject: An Impressivly Bad Crossover
Author:
Posted on: 2012-07-20 10:40:00 UTC

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5222479/1/theshockofalifetime
the shock of a lifetime (capitalization theirs) by lana123 co-written with evie898.
Fandom(s): Primeval/Inheritance Cycle, but The Doctor and Superman turn up and there are several noncanon species: Werewolf, witches, vampires and a leprechaun.
Rated: T
Length: 38 Chapters (Yes, I read every single one), but 106,551 words.
Summery: It was a normal day for Lana, Evie, Scoble, Megan and Caitlain. But that all changed when an anomaly opened in there class room and Murtagh, hansom and ever, jumped out and pulled them back through to his home world, Alegasia. after book 3 in 2 POV's.

Where to start? First chapter they burn half their teacher's face off and laugh about it. Second chapter nothing happens. There are examples of bad SPaG. For example Lana doesn't put a capital letter at the beginning of sentences and Evie combines misspellings with faintly Urple prose.
My main problem with this is the species. There is a chapter where literally everyone (except Evie, who is Galabatorix's daughter) reveals they aren't human. This is started by Lana, who proclaims "I AM A GODFORSAKEN ELF!" Later on they meet up with yet more inserted friends, all of whom are also random species.
Now what really annoys me, is that Captain Hilary Becker (I'm allowed Lust Objects, right?) is Superman. No explanation for all the times he's been hurt in canon, no reason given for why, just Becker is Superman.
A few quotes (please say if this isn't okay): "It had been a full moon last night and would be again tomorrow." "How are we going to shave her now!" "If you look up to the skies you might be able to see saphire in the is also a call for 'friends of evie'" "I mean people don't just go blind without a cause do they? Maybe elves were different." (Yes, a character goes blind for literally no reason, the author doesn't even know.)
I want to kill this, but a) I don't yet have permission, b) it's not a two Agent job, c) I really don't want to tackle this for a first mission.
So, I will claim it (unless I'm told it's actually brilliant), but I'll see if I can find a co-writer once (if) I get permission.

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