Subject: Gaah, the Pain
Author:
Posted on: 2012-05-17 02:28:00 UTC

Um, I know both MGLN and Yu Gi Oh well. I read the fic. It's atrociously terribad. Aside from what you noted, there are instances of fangirl Japanese, bad SPaG, Minis, bad fangirl Japanese (ie, putting Japanese in the 'fic and getting it /wrong/), uncanon spells, uncanon YGO cards, uncanon Devices...
Also, the bnei zonot turned Mokuba and Seto Kaiba into misogynistic bastards, drove all of the canons so OOC they can't touch canon with an elven-feet pole, and have no idea how Yu Gi Oh (the game) works, either in the animé or IRL.
I can go on and on, but this, and what you've noted, is enough to say that this 'fic is terribad. I'd very much like to help you with it, but I must note that I haven't got my permission yet (though I'm working on it).

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