Subject: You have GOT to be joking.
Author:
Posted on: 2012-05-18 17:27:00 UTC
Everyone knows Arthur Conan Doyle was the pen name of Dr. John Watson, companion to Sherlock Holmes. ;)
Seriously, though. Heresy. That is just... ugh. Ughughugh. I feel unclean now.
I know I usually just lurk, but this HAD to be posted: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8074415/1/
It's Phineas and Ferb, and it's called "canduzy". As in Candace/Suzy... sigh. I could rant all day. About the only positive things I could find are:
1) Everyone's mostly in character, at least at the start, and
2) Stacy is a hilarious audience surrogate.
As for the negatives... well, read for yourself.
I knew of the community's hatred for this fic and was being a stupid troll. I really should have used a NSFW warning.
Can you delete posts? I really would like to now.
We, as a community, already know about C*l*br**n. This fic is old news.
Beyond that, you didn't remind people that it is NSFW, and you used a suspicious addition to the URL.
I knew of the community's hatred for this fic and was being a stupid troll. I really should have used a NSFW warning. Can you delete posts? I really would like to now.
"Trolls (those who create deliberately bad/annoying stories, reviews or comments for the express purpose of irritating or enraging others) will be ignored or mocked for entertainment. That includes PPCers who act as trolls — you have been warned. It is not clever to deliberately antagonise others in the community, and it is not clever to crow about antagonising people outside the community, either."
Trolling is bad. Instead of an apology, try promising not to do it again. Otherwise, like it says, you have been warned.
~Neshomeh
I won't! I promise!
The above post links to C*l*b*i*n, which is a Legendary Badfic, NSFW, and NSFB.
Speaking as somebody who regularly checks the Board (every few hours or so), I've noticed something.
The badfic thread is huge. As of 19:40 (my time), the front page of the Board had a total of 533 posts. This is roughly 22 pages worth of scrolling. The badfic thread alone has 142 posts. This roughly (excuse my horrible math skills) 25% of the total posts on the Board. That is a lot of posts.
Now, I know that we have reasons for posting all the badfic posts in one thread, and I see most of them as being good ones. However, well, 142 posts is a lot. For me, this is five screens worth of scrolling, which can be annoying when I'm looking for new posts further down.
I don't know if I'm the only one who has a problem with this, so I guess I'd like to put forth a couple of questions.
1) Is the badfic thread too long?
2) Should we have some standards for badfic thread lengths before we start a new one?
3) If so, what should they be?
What if we put this whole lovely thread out in the Alternate Board, where it can expand and explode to its heart's content, while the rest of 'Board traffic runs on unimpeded?
It's one of the best things about the Board, in my opinion (which is why the Constitution is so vehement about it).
My opinion is that doing any of the things suggested here would be a bad idea - this is the PPC Board, after all, if we can't talk about badfic here We Are Doing It Wrong. But that's my opinion, and my opinions - when they're not in my areas of authority (being me, my stuff, and The Giving Of Permission) are just as (un)important as everyone else's. See the somewhere-around-here discussion on Moderators And How We Do Not Have Them.
And you know what? I think it's great. I think it's brilliant that people can choose to ignore me as they decide how to post on their Board.
hS
We could, y'know. Put the Unclaimed/Claimed Badfic lists to use.
The Unclaimed Badfic list has only been edited all of once since this thread started, and that was only one fic added by a single newbie, as compared to the mass that is clustered here.
Move badfic threads to the other board so people can post to their hearts' content. At the same time, encourage them to put the Unclaimed/Claimed Badfic lists to use.
There is no reason that both can't happen.
-Phobos
It makes sense to put overly long threads like this over to the other board.
The thing is, moving it to the alternate thread would be relatively easy, whereas is could be tricky getting the Unclaimed Badfic page updated. I think someone should be designated to continually check the thread for badfics not on the page and then transfer them over. (Not me - though I would if I could.)
It's not that difficult, and if they think it is bad enough to report to the board at large but not want to take it themselves, they should add it themselves.
Seriously, though, I like the idea of a discussion of why badfic is badfic, and generally... well, discussing badfic, rather than just going "OHGODSOBAD CLAIMED!"
It's mostly just different flavors of "OW! MY EYEBALLS!".
...could just as easily be done on the Alternate Board, with no irritation on this 'Board and no elimination of the participants' fun.
Which was your point to having it be on the other board instead.
One of my points to having it be on the other 'Board, the others of which include things like "Let's not tell people what they're not allowed to talk about unless they're breaking rules," and "If people are enjoying it, maybe killing it isn't a bad thing," and "Badfic threads will continue to pop up, so we might as well come up with a Solution, rather than a temporary avoid," so on and so forth.
I found one that is... I didn't find out that it was a Sonic X fi...il I read the description AFTER I had read it, let's leave it at that... http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8169003/1/Amy_Dies There is nothing in particular that is worse than anything else...
Considering we have a Vampire Knight fic in the Sonic section and the other one...
...
...the author reviewed their own story saying 'I really like this story.'
What.
If this exactly counts, but... Hoo boy. It's bad. It's really bad. Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
The writing is okay, and there are very few grammar/spelling or other errors, but... Wow. I didn't think it was possible to bend Harry Potter canon that far (please, don't mention My Immortal), but wow.
Harry and Neville are...mostly alright. Hermione's become some sort of...out-of-character person obsessed with sex (at least it's only with Ron), Ron is evil, Ginny's a skanky whore (no, I am not exaggerating that, nor insulting the character), and the Weasleys--with the exception of Mr. Weasely and the Twins--are pretty much evil. Haven't found the two oldest yet, but... *sighs* Then there's the fact that Harry's revenge throughout the story is over the top in violence and cruelty. Also, Dumbledore is still alive and a complete and utter berk, along with being dark-grey evil and manipulative.
Have I missed anything? Sheesh. That's the last time I click on a link from TVTro... Oh hey, a link! (Completely SFW unless you're on the receiving end of Fegel's antics.)
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8168544/1/StartFromThe_Midnight
...when the story's summary warns you about bad grammar and typos... ^-^;
And we have...
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8168550/1/ThePastthePresentandtheFuture
I have no clue what's going on, but it's kinda... yeah.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8125265/1/KellyTheRoman_Warrior
I am really hoping this is a troll. I will let the first lines speak for themselves.
"It was 2000 year in the past in roman and there was a girl and her name was kelly mariena ceaser joenson and she was 19 years old. She had balck hair down to her wayst and a prefect face and wored a roman armor and sword and helmet maked of gold and sliver and it was cost alot of mooney. She liffed in a big roman house wilth pilars and eberything and her farther was rickch he was the ceaser and he owned all the houses for 100s miles around and he had thousands of roman dollars what they used in 2000 year ago."
How the in the flippin' heck did someone manage to put that many errors into a single sentence? Ow. Ow. Ow. My brain. Ow. And the entire thing... Ow. I... I... I've written some awful stuff, but I've never managed to get that bad!
*slinks off to drown self in bleepka*
When Hetalia badfic is more historically accurate than your fanfic... yeah, you've got a problem.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8035224/1/Avani_Hollister
Because, apparently, there weren't enough children on the deep space mining vessel, so now there is one.
Among other offences, it features a Sue with a serious attitude problem, who hates Rimmer and manages to instantly befriend Lister. She then gets herself frozen in stasis (without anyone else noticing), and after waking scene steals Rimmer and Lister's first meeting with Cat. Oh yeah, she's also on board, as a 12 year old, because she's the captain's niece (that seems to be the only reason so far).
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8088434/1/RavenFeathersandSadMelodies
Trigger warning! (Just to be safe): Death of parents and child abuse. Not much detail, but hey, better safe than sorry? Oh, and bullying.
The author has already had two reviews warning that the main character may become a Sue, but she already appears to be one. To me, at least. I can't just trust my own judgements though, haha... ^^
From what I can tell, she's making all of the characters fall for her. It's quite bad.
She also has a depressing backstory (see trigger warning) and survived an attack from Belarus. And punched America in the face. And can do magic better than England. (Although, thinking about it, most people could. Or could they? Darn fanon influencing my thoughts.)
Although, I was amused when the Sue first met Germany. She isn't at all fazed by a strange German asking her questions... she simply asks "Are you on steroids?" XD
I guess even some badfics have some good qualities.
-Himu, who has been meaning to steal this signature style for a while now.
On England's magic: My fanon is always that he sucks at magic, but that he's STILL better than every other nation. There are *lots* of human magicians that are infinitely better than him, but he's the best nation.
Ouch. Ouuuuuuch. This fic. Burns me. That title alone. Ow.
Here's a Harry Potter one:
http://m.fanfiction.net/s/8130035/1/
It's titled "Rose Evans story" and it centers around Lily Evans having a twin named Rose. A medium amount of bad grammer, and some parts are almost copy and pasted from Harry Potter itself. I'm only on chapter 3 of 11 but it doesn't show any signs of getting better. It doesn't have a plot yet, either.
I found this story on FIMFiction.net, and all I had to do to trigger my gag reflex was read the summary. RGGGH.... DO PEOPLE NO LONGER GET TAUGHT THE SIMPLE CONCEPT OF PERIODS ANYMORE?
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/29081/monsters-arise
I think they stopped teaching you how not to use Caps Lock at the same time?
I almost have to wonder if it's a trollfic "tribute," like all those My Immortal spinoffs.
If anyone remembers the other badfic thread I made, you'd remember Chaotic Order, a stupid, stupid crossover MLP fic where everyone except Rigby is horriblely OOC.
http://cartuneslover16.deviantart.com/gallery/?q=chaotic#/d4h7t5m
This is the first chapter in this abomination, and I think it'll be clear by the end why I HATE this girl. HATEHATEHATE
So no, it's not clear.
We have a Hetalia one:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7084791/1/hetaliasongs
It's more or less a story of the Hetalia characters singing/listening to songs. It's hard to describe, really. SPaG-wise... bad.
And we also have a BBC Sherlock one:
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8145260/1/LastSmokeBeforetheSnowStorm">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8145260/1/LastSmokeBeforetheSnow_Storm
Warning! It's M rated, although I see no reason for it to be... yet.
I'm not sure whether I got bored and skipped parts, but I'm having trouble working out what's really going on in this story. Oh, and an OC. I think she's a Sue. I'm not too sure though, the un-British weather is starting to melt my brain, I think.
The author of the Hetalia one has written two other stories, and they're both also badfic. Joy.
It's incredibly short, but here:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7531726/1/dEMONS_HALLOWEEN
Yes, the title is capitalised wrong.
The story doesn't really make any sense, really. At all.
We also have failing capitals, missing punctuation, no paragraphs, and nothing separating the Author's Notes from the story. Joy.
...I read the whole thing in Tavros Nitram's voice. It just made it even more surreal.
Too... unbearable... AHHAHAHHA *breaks out laughing*
This is a fanfic created by a possible Obi-Wan fangirl. Written in first person POV, which makes it even more painful and hilarious to read.
Here is the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7626003/1/ObiwanmyOneand_Only
And for the extremes, here is the extended version on DeviantArt:
http://elegantartist21.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4ikc1y (complete with the 'cover')
Oh and, the Sue's very obsessed in getting Obi-Wan!
There are so many offenses I could list for this fic; random tense shifts, irritating OC's, the fact that the author never puts a space between the words do and not... they do seem to know how to use spell-check though, so I guess that's a plus.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8144645/1/Isthisablondthing
...I couldn't make any sense of that story. That's not a good sign. #Understatement
Maybe they know how to use some kind of bizarro spell-check from Bizarro World because I could not understand a word that was coming out of that fic. Was that even English? All I saw was sl;dkfjsdl;kfjsl;kfjaowirweoiuvm fangirl japanese l;sdkjf;lkdfjasl;fkdjfkasjff bakka (she even got the fangirl japanese wrong!) I didn't even see any indication that it was supposed to be an Ouran fic aside from the fact that it was set in a school and they mentioned the club a couple of times. Maybe my brain just shut off to prevent some kind of traumatic brain injury.
but other than that it had no connection to the series. And when I said they used spell-check I meant that they went through their Word doc. or whatever, made sure all the underlined words were in Japanese, and posted it. I'm just happy it's a one shot.
http://fav.me/d3p0job
Snape-luster fangirl with a Rose of Versailles/Harry Potter 'verse Sue. Her English is not very good and I skimmed most of her ranting, here are the high points:
"The story of Emily 2 (the version of 2011) begins in September 1993 where she is 28 and the Muggle aunt of Lavender Brown who has no clue about the magical world.... She visits her sister in England and want to bring her niece to the Hogwarts Express, but because she has to carry one of Lavender suitcases inside the train, she's still there when the trains starts. And after Remus Lupin discovers her, he's not sure what to do with her, so he sents her later to the castle. Emily has to stay the whole year, cause the Ministry of Magic sees of the possibility that Sirius Black tries to kill or use her in order to get nearer to Harry Potter and so she has to stay with Severus Snape down in the dungeons, cause he should protect her and has an extra room in his flat. (Actually all of this is a secret plan of Dumbledore to bring her close to Snape and to seal his loyalty to the good side)"
... Half of one question in a 21 question FAQ. =_=
"17. How can you say that Emily isn't a Mary Sue or a self-insert character when she looks totally like you?
At first I'm not looking exactly like her (nor would I wear everything of her clothes) and second, it was more that I designed Emily first with the red hair (I always loved that hair colour) and then became myslef more and more like her by dying my hair and let it grow long. Finally I wanted to cosplay her and so it is necessary to look like the character, isn't it?"
...So she's turning herself into her Sue, not the other way around.
She also has a rather 'lovely' rant on why she hates Lily Evans, which can be found here: http://fav.me/d3pn8ch
Well, I had decided to randomly read My Immortal once more for the laughs when I decided to check out Tara's fanfiction page once more. To my horror, it seems like she has written more fanfics.
Let's meet Time Of Your Life (AKA My Immortal - The Naruto Version)
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7529166/1/TimeOfYour_Life
Oh god, that one. Trollfic or not, that thing is just BAD. Although I have to admit I started laughing due to some of the ridiculous OOC everywhere.
If this isn't Tara, the hacker did an impressive imitation of her style. Anyway, this is so bad it's hilarious.
Everyone can make an account like that, throw in some really bad SPaG and say they're Tara. The fact that they spelled Ebony as Enoby in the first AN is not helping.
I don't think you can try much harder than this.
Must be a very dedicated troll, with all those chapters.
Not sure whether to believe this or not:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7440545/1/MyImmortalThe_Truth
May I present The Marines have landed . If you're from New Zealand, I suggest drinking a large amount of alcohol first. Ditto if you're a Marine. Ditto if you're a member of the military, or study history or...
What the bleeping bleep was this person thinking before writing this? I don't... What... *eye twitches* As the member of a heavily-military oriented family, I find this so bleeping offensive. (I've also borrowed a tv studio's profanity filter so I can write this rant.)
The writing itself isn't bad, if the writer were a beginning or mid-level ESL student. It follows most conventions, although it doesn't grasp any form of punctuation. And has no grasp of history... Or...
*sighs* You'd think someone posting in the Hogan's Heroes fandom would know better. Or could at least do a little basic research for World War Two. What's really insulting is that the Mary Sue in this story is almost an expy of the writer--who is from New Zealand, I'm so sorry--except "speshuler". It's just... *headdesks repeatedly in hopes of a concussion*
It's not NSFW, but I find it rather painful to read. 'scuse me, I've got to return a filter and find a bottle of bleepka.
If I had to guess, New Zealand didn't have a Marine Corps at the time and even if they did they wouldn't be fighting World War II in Europe.
There were a few things that made me head-tilt; I haven't seen Hogan's Heroes and maybe it's just a fixture of the show but allowing a POW to be interrogated in any other situation besides alone and in a 2x4 seems like a terrible idea. Insubordination. Disrespecting superiors. Being a senior field grade officer in enemy territory for classified reasons. Attempting to acquire classified information from allies. Conduct unbecoming an officer. Improper conduct during capture. Multiple counts of assault on the English language. Women in a combat branch.
Sound about right?
... there were New Zealand troops in the European theater, both as NZ units and as members of the RAF and RN. What I can't find is any evidence that New Zealand has a Marine Corps at all.
Sounds about right. Let's also add in destroying one's native country for good measure. Good freakin' lord. The author is from New Zealand, for crying out loud!
It's...it's like she was trying to write a parody of an American soldier...but it mutated. WTF?
Oh, and also throw in multiple breaches of the Geneva Convention. I've read it, including the sections on officer conduct after capture/internment at a POW camp, and... No. Just no. *whacks author with a rolled-up newspaper* Bad author!
Has anyone heard of the Prayer Warriors? This is the remaining spawn/spin-off of the original series, since its original author has been hacked by his own brother.
It's terrible - an embarrassment to Christianity!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7577812/1/ThePrayerPoniesFriendshipIsThroughJesus
The OC's name is so ridiculous, believe me.
In addition, the same author has written a Pokemon Suefic: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8118490/5/Sophoclean_Kronicle
Warning: Riddled with continuity errors (according to a reviewer), a God Mode Sue, etc. I gave her a chance by giving out a concrit, but it seems she's ignoring criticism.
You've used some pretty strong words in your second comment on the Pokémon fic there. That's really not okay. This community is about laughing at bad writing, not about saying rude and potentially hurtful things to other fanfic writers. You call them a bad author for attacking people, but the truth is, you are attacking them right back.
It is unfortunate that not all authors you'll encounter are willing to listen to criticism. This does not and never will give you free reign to stoop to base insults aimed at another human being.
Thanks for reminding me. I will try to hold my emotions back next time.
...due to the heavily religious nature of it.
We don't want to stir up a storm by sporking religious fics.
It's pretty creepy that the author's serious and not a troll. Too creepy...
OK, what the frig? So much wrongness. Applejack is now Texas apparently. Also, since I myself do have mild Aspergers, yeah, there's no way that Fluttershy has it. If anypony has it, it's definitely Twilight. But on the other hand, this isn't Aspergers; clearly it's aspersers, a strange Mary-Sue-induced disease that causes violent, rude personality shifts when the person who has it comes into contact with a religious Mary Sue.
I just love it how for everything that's gotten wrong out there, be it Aspergers, Dyslexia, or basically anything else in the plot device and stock excuses crate, the PPC has people who can tell first-hand how things really work.
Ellipsis Flood, official not-a-native-speaker
Mind sharing the position?
Well, otherwise I will settle for the Board's resident Italian. Feel free to ask for help if a badfic is full of Gratuitous Itagliano. (Yeah, Itagliano. That's basically our equivalent of Engrish)
'cause that one was rather memorable.
(Incidentally, I am now almost hoping to find a badfic that messes up something in my area of expertise. Clearly something is very wrong with me.)
*I* have Asperger's Syndrome, and it *does* come in a couple of different flavors... but NOT LIKE THAT.
Asperger's is kinda like the Death Note, in that it takes your most extreme traits, warps them, and accentuates them into Very Bad Things. Most people who have it already tend to be logical, passionately interested in a few things, socially awkward, and shy... so it makes us tend to be nigh-robotic, nigh-obsessive, and have difficulties relating to normal humans.
And ranty. Did I mention ranty? XD
Okay. Point is... if Fluttershy had Asperger's, which she most definitely does not, it wouldn't mean she'd run around cursing at people. She'd be even shyer than usual, have a hard time talking about anything but animals, and not be able to look at people in the eye. That's about it.
GET YOUR MENTAL ILLNESSES RIGHT, PEOPLE!
...now I definitely believe the people who say I have Aspergers too.
I have mild Asperger's (NOT aspersers) and I don't usually come off as an 'Aspergian' to people. :P
...For a multitude of reasons.
I am fairly good at spotting other people with Asperger's (and aspersers, but do let's not go there.)
...it's not that people think I have Asperger's, it's more that they say I act just like my brother, who has already been diagnosed with quite sever Asperger's...
...the badfic thread is the wrong place for me to have this conversation. =-=
Given the notorious unreliability of self-diagnosis.
I have a younger brother with pretty extreme Aspergers, so I have to agree with this.
Aspergers doesn't work that way at all. *eyetwitch*
I know this is a trollfic, yet I can't help but get really incensed at the author's depiction of Asperger's.
*deeeeeep breath*
OK, now I'm just depressed.
Thanks, troll. That was really nice of you.
I'm not sure whether she's a troll or not. She's still a Suethor, though.
If I can't make it through the first paragraph without my brain hurting, that's not a good thing. *shudders*
And I will add another badfic to this. Ostensibly, it has some connection to Where the Heart Is. There is none. I call moron (since they're not a troll, just horribly, horribly out of place on FFN.) Here it is. *sighs* The only thing hard about this story is trying to separate everything into paragraphs. A reviewer left a recommendation to move the story over to fictionpress.
I checked the author's other stories, and they're all similarly misplaced. They mostly seem to be short original works.
According to her profile, her newer works have been put on Fiction Press, but...
I read one of them and prayed the writer wasn't a native speaker. And now this moron can't move original fiction over to Fiction Press? *headdesks repeatedly* Maybe if I give myself a concussion, it'll all go away...
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/26428/1/batman-in-ponyville/story
Trust me. Its bad.
Also, this:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7226386/1/HannibalsEyesAreOpened
I als found a bad Thomas the Tank Engine script fic.
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6826483/1/HowGordonmetRebecca">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6826483/1/HowGordonmet_Rebecca
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7978520/1/MadokaMagicaGundam_Adventure
The characters from Madoka, Nanoha and Dog Days (another series made by the ones who made Madoka. Not as successful, AFAIK) get ahold of so-called G-Terminals, that allows them to fight with Digimon-like Gundams. The plot is flimsy and the prose is hard to follow.
Not to mention that the depiction of Nanoha is... aaargh. There's no way Nanoha would treat Madoka in such a way.
At least, the guy/gal behind it got a reference right. Nanoha's Gundam is the RX-78-2. Both are called White Devil, and one of the lesser used nicknames for Nanoha is "RX-78-2 in schoolgirl dress"
I also happen to remember a Harry Potter fanfic called Triple H's (Or, if we would like to use the original title, "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH")
The first chapter involved chainsaw dicks, astronauts, and demons. Can't seem to find a link though.
Thanks. Has this one been sporked yet?
No, but it's on the Claimed Badfic page; apparently doctorlit claimed it. They describe it as "composed of the very fabric of chaos," which sounds about right.
...it's actually quite enjoyable in the most twisted way you could imagine.
For example: "Harry, you must rock the **** out."
And when speaking about ninjas: "The silent killers of the night had negated their innate advantage by only plying their craft on surf boards. During the day."
Especially if you find ManWithoutABody's dramatic readings. They are brilliant.
My god. I actually posted this a short while back, but it's become MY GOD SO HORRIBLE. Just... Look, I'll spare you all the long-winded list of Stupid, unless you want to co-write something with me.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7109377/1/FallingintoaNewWorld_Secrets
HELP.
So, we start off with our two main Sues, Sarah Noppers, aka Seranop, who's apparently Japanese and telepathic, and Lucia Sennen (same name as the author). Through the magic of a bad satellite connection, they get sent into Yu-Gi-Oh. Lucia gets a Millenium KEYCHAIN, a shiny personalized card, an Egyptian-god-induced makeover, and a new name (Sapphire Shuja) She promptly proceeds to, I assume, break the plot, and cheating her way through. Now, onto the part that REALLY bugs me.
See, apparently, Vivio Takamachi (Nanoha and Fate's adopted daughter--this is a MGLN and YGO crossover) somehow got a hold of a Device and teleported herself to Earth (even though she already has a device and doesn't know HOW to teleport.) Nanoha, apparently forgetting that she was born on Earth and has family there, as well as there being two former admirals living there, laments that Earth is a planet of nonmagical people and therefore she can't, you know, call up her parents (her aunt is the head of an antiterrorism agency, her father is a former ninja bodyguard with Connections, her two elder siblings are also ninjas, she is personal family friends with an insanely rich European singer, you get the idea) or go to Earth herself, or tell the police there that a blond girl with green/red heterochromia has gone missing. Nope, Vivio, who for WHATEVER REASON decided to NOT call up her grandparents, decides to change her name to Sarah Noppers and gets adopted immediately by the Sennens, apparently without anyone asking where she came from, where her parents are, anything reasonable. Then, even though Nanoha exists in this universe and the Sue-group is all huge fans of it, no one connects the two. Oh yeah, there's three auxilliary Sues who get introduced many chapters in, and apparently one of them is... freakishly obsessed with Fate, to the point of wearing clothes themed after her and making herself look like the spitting image of Fate. Again, Vivio never notices the connection between fangirl!Sue and her mom, and apparently takes the news that she's fictional quite well. Then, somehow, they get a visit from Chrono, who, AGAIN, doesn't seem to notice that his adopted niece is right there, and confuses Fangirl!Sue for Fate. They all get ripoff devices and go on to wreck more plot.
And yes, I probably missed many, many, manymanymany stupid things. But, I don't know Yu-Gi-Oh outside of riffing a few episodes with my friends and watching the Abridged Series, so I can't do this alone. Please help, Boarders, you're my only hope.
And, JUST from chapter 6:
Agito goes to Earth to get a letter from Vivio. So, they KNOW WHERE SHE IS, YET THEY DON"T GO GET HER. Also, Agito is a six-inch-tall fire-mage flying person, who of course can just go to the postal office and grab a letter.
Somehow, Lucia has enough magic to take out Nanoha and Fate at once. At age nine.
The Sennen family decides to adopt Vivio, assumes she's Japanese (even though she doesn't look anything like a Japanese person, being blond and having Christmas-tree eyes), she takes a new name for NO REASON, and... Oh wait, I already ranted about this. Ugh.....
Oh yeah--Vivio is from Mid-Childa, an alien world. She shouldn't know how to speak Japanese, or know anything about it aside from what her mothers have told her. And, somehow, the Chinese all hate the Japanese... What? She shouldn't be able to even speak any Earth languages, or be able to get through their civilization, which is full of stuff she has no clue how to use. I doubt Nanoha and Fate told her about, say, public transportation on Earth, or the currency, or the languages, or the major cultures, or anything that wouldn't make her sound like a complete nutjob. Also, Vivio is six.
Um, I know both MGLN and Yu Gi Oh well. I read the fic. It's atrociously terribad. Aside from what you noted, there are instances of fangirl Japanese, bad SPaG, Minis, bad fangirl Japanese (ie, putting Japanese in the 'fic and getting it /wrong/), uncanon spells, uncanon YGO cards, uncanon Devices...
Also, the bnei zonot turned Mokuba and Seto Kaiba into misogynistic bastards, drove all of the canons so OOC they can't touch canon with an elven-feet pole, and have no idea how Yu Gi Oh (the game) works, either in the animé or IRL.
I can go on and on, but this, and what you've noted, is enough to say that this 'fic is terribad. I'd very much like to help you with it, but I must note that I haven't got my permission yet (though I'm working on it).
With an elven-feet pole? True, I would also not want to touch anything with a pole made out of elf-feet, but then I wouldn't want to touch the pole to begin with. :)
But anyways, I have other things to mission. Once you get permission, we can co-write it... Should I put a claim up on the Claimed Badfic list?
Yes, that'd be a good idea. We should definitely take our time with this, and it's not a good idea to even think about this fic in that context right now.
BTW, it was supposed to be 'eleven'.
I know, I was joking. But, I'll put a claim up on the list. Good luck with getting Permission!
I was going over your missions, and I noticed that you got a charge wrong in the first one. The charge in question, having a Barrier Jacket without having an Intelligent Device, is wrong, because multiple people who don't use Intelligent Devices have Barrier Jackets -- Chrono (his Devices, S2U and Durandal are Storage Devices), Yuuno (doesn't use a Device), Vita, Shamal, Signum, Hayate, Erio and Sister Schach (who all use Armed Devices) are all examples of that.
Also, thanks for the encouragement.
Ah, really? Huh. I actually assumed that the characters were using handmade devices, like Subaru and Tea did originally. Also, I don't think any of the Forwards had Barrier Jackets before they got devices, but they still had Storage Devices.
Hm. There is something in what you say, but that charge is, at best, poorly worded and confusing. Other than that, though, your missions are funny - especially mission three, which I'm currently reading.
Ah well, that was my first mission. And I'm glad you enjoyed them.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8121940/1/AlyssaReynoldsandtheSoul_Collectors
Um. Too soon to tell, but I really hope this is a troll.
Even more so after I read her profile.
And I quote:
"It was ... Draco Malfoy!"
.......Anyone who has read My Immortal recognizes that line.
Either small minds think alike, or we have a trollthor who's paying homage to M.I.
It's probably just a stupid way to add drama. She does it in chapter two.
Poe's Law strikes again, I suppose.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. "Who the hell is Arthur Conan Doyle? Did he write manga? No? THEN WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT HIM?!"
I don't know where to start. Capslock of rage abused with her quotes, textspeak, mocking one of the great English writers of history. Purple (or urple) prose, and fangirl Japanese.
Everyone knows Arthur Conan Doyle was the pen name of Dr. John Watson, companion to Sherlock Holmes. ;)
Seriously, though. Heresy. That is just... ugh. Ughughugh. I feel unclean now.
I believe in Sherlock Holmes.
...Though I still need to see the series. >.>
It'll cause a similar reaction to my Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump one. The reaction of "What?" is always funny.
How on earth... what is this I don't even.. this needs to be sporked ASAP..
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5707222/1/DiaryOfA_Mindreader
Supposedly a Hetalia/Twilight crossover, but the fic makes me think the author hasn't seen Hetalia at all. The characters basically just go by country names, and that's it. The personalities and appearances don't match at all. The connection to Twilight is also similarly tenuous. Esme appears once, period. The setting makes no sense. The formatting is atrocious.
...Japan. With "electric blue eyes".
No. Just... no.
And... Prussia is a "goody-goody".
Never.
This just... my fandom! ;A;
Blugh. Himo, I think this shall be a cowrite. Do you want to tackle it?
*will gladly help you kill it*
Considering I don't have permission yet?
Or can you still cowrite if only one person has permission?
Seeing as a) I have Permission and b) I know you love both continuums and are not going to write Sue!Agents.
Also, Skelter is a Twilight fan (his guilty secret) and Lola adores Hetalia. Much wtfery shall be had. (What, F doesn't stand for fridge? :o)
...I think it's probably better if I don't.
Mostly because I'm still not a good enough of a writer yet.
...love both continuums? I've never been too keen on Twilight, to be honest... ^^'
...As a general guideline, I, at least, prefer that cowrites that operate like this are done with people who have experience writing missions already, rather than people who have recently gained permission and haven't yet written many missions yet.
The idea with allowing it this- people without permission cowriting with someone who does- is so that people who are doing it can gain experience by working with someone who has experience already.
You should gather experience before co-writing with someone who hasn't even got Permission yet.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8115416/1/
It's a Back to the Future fanfic called TO THE BACK FUTURE.
And there's a samurai. And it's all downhill from there...
How? Why? Who would think this was a good idea? It's wrong, man!
*Sobs into a pillow hysterically* WHY!! WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS TO FEUDAL JAPAN?!
Also the rest of the fic was bad.
That is... not good.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7925641/1/Child_Development
It's a Fullmetal Alchemist fic which is not so much a self- insert as an "insert canon characters into the author's own life".
A Harry Potter fic that has only one chapter, consisting of an introduction of characters and yet I'm already worried. I probably have a good reason to be.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8116174/1/TheLastRiddle
And apparently now everyone's related to Lord Voldemort. I really wonder about the thought process of this author.
An apparently now everyone's related to Lord Voldemort. I really wonder about the thought process of this author.
Her name is Silver Galloway and in the first sentence her hair is described as a "splendor of black"
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8104829/1/The105thHunger_Games
A My Immortal-wannabe. This troll attacked me through PM later. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7769142/3/The_One
What confuses me, is that the last chapter seemed to be well-written. Have I classified a wrong person?
Not to mention there can't be more the 75 Hunger Games.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6573166/1/KHandFFTruthOr_Dare
Just read it. Please. And have Bleeprin with you when you do.
...I actually enoyed this, and found quite a bit of it funny. It definately needs fixing up in some places, but it's not spork-worthy, and definately not a bleepfic.
What I'm reading is a completely random setup that breaks many of the rules of the canon and forces the characters to act OOC.
The first chapter alone has major levels of OOCness. Xemnas and Axel are not people to be effed with, and could probably KILL the two OC nobodies that are introduced to keep Axel from leaving.
In the second chapter, Sora hand an OC his keyblade. Let me say that again: Sora hands her his keyblade. This. Is not. Possible. Keyblades are very very picky about their wielders, and unless this random OC is a wielder, this should not happen. For example, Sora handed Jack Sparrow his keyblade, and it almost immediately teleported back to his hand. This is what should happen.
Then, she starts attacking Sora, with his own weapon, while screaming "WHY DID YOU KILL THE ORGANIZATION? THEY. WERE. MY. FRIENDS! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST KILL MANSEX AND LEAVE EVERYONE ELSE ALONE?" Or at least I think it’s her, there isn't a tag next to it. Anyone who knows canon knows that the Organization needed to be stopped. They were hurting people. "They were my friends?" None of them had friends except for Axel,Xion, and Roxas, who were a special case. And how are they her friends? "Why couldn't you just kill Mansex and leave everyone else alone?" Because Xemnas wasn't the only one responsible for hurting people.
"Angie threw the keyblade, which hit Xemnas in the face, then retrieved it, and pulled Sora's underwear over the top causing THE ULTIMATE WEDGIE!"
...You find this funny? You don't see a problem with this? Because I do. This OC should be dead by now.
The next two dares involve Cloud, Sephiroth, and Master Xehanort. Cloud. Sephiroth. Master Xehanort. Do I need to point out what's wrong with this and why the OC should be dead by now?
And not only does MX comply with the dare, but it shows a complete lack of respect towards his character. And this isn't the only dare that shows a lack of respect either. It goes on and on.
This isn't funny. This doesn’t show respect towards the characters. This isn't a good fanfic.
Hey, Calm down. Fanfic isn't all SRS BSNS. It's not even a serious fic, in fact. It's just meant to be a random, silly fic, where people can do silly and humiliating things to characters they enjoy.
I am a massive fan of the Kingdom Hearts series. In fact, I have beaten every game that has been released in Europe, perhaps, that is why I like this fic, even though the writing could use a lot of work.
Sometimes it's FUN to see characters acting OOC, for comedies sake. Even actual canons do it. Generally in the form of joke endings in videogames (Like Blazblue's joke endings.)
Not every fic has to be completely serious. Not every fic has to completely follow canon. We don't spork crackfic, after all. :)
...is still the crack that's completely in(s)ane and yet manages to make you think that it's not even that far out.
Another thing I noticed: The two OCs are Heartless. I don't know that much about Heartless, but aren't they supposed to be personified darkness/evil? Well, it does explain their behavior a bit.
*points at the paragraph above* And this is how the PPC approaches fics like these.
"Just as with any type of fanfiction, crackfic may be good or bad.
Some badfic authors will attempt to account for their less-than-stellar
work by excusing it as crackfic and saying it wasn't meant to be taken
seriously. Particularly bad trollfics may stray into crackfic territory."
This was taken from the wiki's page on crackfic. Something can be silly and fun, without the character's needing to be OOC.
I am also a fan of the Kingdom Hearts series. When I see the characters I love being made to wear Tu-tus, I get angry. (Yes that is in there.)
No, fanfiction does not have to be serious business, but canon does. Most fics should follow the canon.
With a HARRY POTTER AND TWILIGHT CROSSOVER WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN:http://m.fanfiction.net/s/5776013/1/
(This fic makes me cry. And I haven't even finished chapter 1...)
Never stop writing. I forgot how terrible and yet oddly hilarious his fics are. I'm also amused by how it seems that he doesn't quite like any of his main characters, but still insists on using them and the setting.
It's like ShakespeareHemmingway, but not as 'gentle' with it's initial mind-melting. This is more... Pan-galactic Gargle Blaster level of mind melt, rather than 'waking up in a tub of ice with your hope for humanity gone, and hazy memories of being on the computer all night the previous...'
Teal deer: WablooSwabloo is remarkably more blunt, but ShakespeareHemmingway gets you both when you read, and again later when you stop laughing and actually think about it.
Also, Best Mini-Aragog ever: Snappledapple (Snape). I think I might have to adopt it, for it is the best typo ever.
"Godorick Gryphindor was a faggot." then he walksed away.
...
...
.......
...
*lost for words*
1) Please do not quote things that have language like that without a warning in the future.
2) Why "bemused hostility"?
It's because Harry Potter is my childhood. Bemused laughter, because it's insane. Hostility, because I love Harry Potter to death and seeing it butchered like this raises my hackles.
"Hostility" does not fly. We do not express or hope with hostile intent against authors. That is not on.
And if you're going to call me that, capitalize it. My name is a proper noun.
Hostile towards this nauseating clusterfudge of a badfic. :P
And all right, Miss Flame.
I just might pull this one to the side and do a "Sorting Room reaction" with this.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8105615/1/AgentCloverthe_Hacker
"She's the youngest hacker in the world, and Johann Schmidt wants her to use her for his latest plan to rule the world. She's placed under the protection of the Avengers, with Hawkeye taking aim on her heart. Is she the new Avenger? Clint/OC."
Not only a genius hacker, but a highly skilled fighter and Hawkeye's equal when it comes to aiming ranged weapons.
Splendor of God.
What I got from the first two paragraphs:
1. She's an insufferable twit who speaks in run-ons and fragments.
2. She is computersexual or something. -_-
I shall report Life of Sara Gallar, an unapologetic Pirates of the Caribbean sue.
The sue is, in the Suethor's own words, "a daughter of a rich and powerful man in Port Royal. She don´t like her life that she is living now. She wants something different. She love pirates stories and when she is on her way to England her big adventure beggins."
This fic is notable for the horrible grammar, cliched plot, and the absolute devastation of Davy Jones' character.
Also, she puts spaces before and after every apostrophe like: "you ' re", which really bugs the hell out of me. I don't know why, it just does. A lot.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3480321/1/ Titian Heat
This fic involves a severely OOC Riku, who is sexually assaulted by some disgusting, lecherous...thing pretending to be Simba. SIMBA, for glarung's sake!
The spelling and grammar are surprisingly good, but this only makes the whole thing worse.
I read an MST of this fic, which was coincidentally the ONLY MST I've ever read where the author literally just gave up, it was so bad. Here's proof: http://heartless-fics.livejournal.com/65199.html
I demand that this thing be sporked. Then burned, with an exorcist present to attend to the ashes. I mean, SHEESH! There are lines that just shouldn't be crossed, especially with Disney characters...