Subject: Concrit
Author:
Posted on: 2012-05-02 17:59:00 UTC

This was a very enjoyable read. Well done.

The personalities of your agents really came through, here. I liked getting to know them in a situation that was not normal for them.

I loved the line about Makes-Things.

I'm not familiar with Nobodies, but I don't think I suffer due to that lack of familiarity. I got a very good idea of what Xericka is all about.

Her voice had slowed down a bit, as if she were examining each word twice over in her mind before sending them down to her tongue. Great description here. I could picture exactly what that was like.

As for the suggestive scenes... Very well executed. You have a good handle on how to write an intimately sensual scene to great effect, without it getting into overtly sexual territory. Five stars.

Overall, the pacing was excellent, the characters were well written, and the situation was relateable. An excellent piece of fiction.

-Phobos

Reply Return to messages