stoppleasestopit

this offends my brain

so much

Whaaaaaaat? No. Caesar Flickerman cannot jump continuums. Never. It is HERESY.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7801464/2/Series6TwistedandTurned

Apparently the main character can remember the Silence.

Um.

I heard that later on it's revealed that she's a speshul kind of Time Lord, but I could barely make it through the first chapter and a half.

Would anyone be interested in killing this with me?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8001596/1/ShesaSurvivorThatOne

This one has Sue!Katniss.

I'm not even sure what's going on in this fanfic...

what?

What?

... What?

Token Tribute? That can't die!?

...

I'm claiming this fic. If this Mary Sue is going to circumvent a critical part of the games' existence (namely, all but one of them have to die) with some stupid crap that doesn't even make any damn sense...

Well, at least the chapters are short. That's about the only good thing this fic has going for it though.

Going slightly off-topic; am I the only one that is amused by disclaimers which deny ownership of OCs? I quote from chapter 3 of this one: 'DISCLAIMER-I OWN NOTHING!'
What, not even the character Sera and the concept of a tribute which isn't allowed to be attacked? I guess I must have missed those in my reading of the books...

Made even more (unintentionally) humorous in this case, due to a double negative in the disclaimer for chapter 4, which would seem to imply that Suzanne Collins was not the creator of Hunger Games; 'DISCLAIMER; DON'T OWN NOTHIN'!'
Now if you own nothing, then you own... nothing; fairly simple and straightforward. But if you DON'T own nothing, are you trying to say you own EVERYTHING?

Peeta in allcaps rage? ... that's Mockingjay-only stuff.

15 family members? In District 12? You wouldn't make it past age 4. Oh, yeah, they're "family members" all... of whom wouldn't take her in after her father died. Never mind the black hole where a mother presumably used to be.

Screaming at Effie and throwing a bottle of wine at her head because Peeta likes a girl, which you say you've already known for a while. Maybe it took years to sink in?

Oh, yeah. Haymitch is her uncle. Sure.

And how the heck is she best friends with Cato and Clove?!

...made up a type of tribute that can't die. Wha-?!

Oh, yeah. Cato wants her, so she's going to make him kill the girl she's jealous of. Uh, extreme much? *headshake*


"That's a nasty looking welt. Are you alright?" she says. For the first time in two years, I turn to Katniss and speak.

"Go to hell. I didn't need your friendship or concern before the Reaping, and I don't need it now."

MUST DIE! KILL IT!

...nine reviewers all agreed that it was wonderful; no wonder the author is so... bwaa!

Wow, this is bad. I don't have any problem with the pairing during the chain arc, but this is really very bad. Didn't the author notice that Light *currently has no memory of the Death Note, and thus cannot think of writing down people's names in it*? Also, "brunette" for a male character is a pet peeve of mine, although it is acceptable if the POV character thinks he's a girl--which usually happens to Mello. And that author's note... I have to go repress my memories now.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8023090/1/young_love
Self insert fic. Horrible abuse of SPaG, inappropriate use of Japaneese sufixes and a spontanious appearanc by Inuyasha. All I can say is that I really hope that it's a troll.

Trolling or no, this is laughably bad. I can't even understand what's going on. There's no punctuation, very sporadic capitalization, and bad spelling mixed in - and that's not even brought me to the complete lack of any sort of segue from the Space Marine scene to SUDDENLY HARRY! And then suddenly Space Marines again.

Not to mention inventing beer for the Space Wolves, and cowardly Space Marines to boot. And giving his characters stupid names. And implying that a Sergeant is still in Basic Training. And putting Space Marines in robes, instead of the Power Armour WHICH THEY'RE FRAKKING ATTACHED TO. And defying...no, never mind, Warp travel isn't exactly the most reliable process to begin with. Aaanyway, also having a Space Marine hiding behind a bush. They don't MAKE bushes big enough to hide an 8-foot walking rapemachine, people.

...Why am I mentally writing up a Charge list right now? BAD Riese! NO summary executions!

Not to mention the spelling and grammar. I especially like how the author is capitalizing things apparently at random.

I've read EVERY BOOK. This looks like something from a Japanime, wrongly placed in 'Young Wizards'.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3704173/1/bWarhammerb40kThe13th_Faction

I...can barely even understand this. It's like he took all the "popular" characters from all the various Final Fantasy universes, smashed them together, and stuck the whole mess into 40k. Along with double-tapping physics, resurrecting the canon whose death was the BASIS for FF X and X-2, and...and...*incoherent screaming*

But it's worse than just that. Most of it is bloody illegible, like, Eye of Argon - style. Chooses the wrong word, then misuses it. It's so bad I can't even begin to grasp what's going on.

HOW IS THIS LIKE, EVEN REMOTELY RELATED TO VAMPIRE THE MASQUERADE?! AT ALL!?!?!

SHE STOLE A FEW OF THE NAMES OF CANON VTM CHARACTERS FOR HER FRAKKIN' STUES!
/Capslock of rage

Sorry. VtM is the fandom that got me writing fanfiction. I love the elegant menace of it, the feeling of struggling with a monster inside yourself, the way that you have to look long and hard at yourself to be anything remotely approaching the hero-

AND THIS GIRL STOMPS ALL OVER IT. KILL THIS WITH FIRE.
And then you get this bint, who doesn't get ANY of that,

Or full of aw no?

I..This is...What in.....*dies*

I have found a fanfiction that makes me want to destroy the author's house from orbit. It's so terrible that an entire sub-culture grew around the fic that focused on killing one of the characters in it due to the evils of it.

It's incredibly NSFW. VERY, VERY NSFW. IT IS ALSO INCREDIBLY EVIL.

To summarise it, eight year old girl from Tenchi Muyo arrives in real life. Is promptly brutally raped and murdered by pedophile.

That is a simplified summary on the Barge Pole Threads of Spacebattles.

I clicked on the link. Then I promptly closed it after a minute or so.

NSFW. Incredibly NSFW. VERY NSFW.

You know what, I'm not even going to give a link. It is just named Kanashii no Imi. Third result on Google, below the two TvTropes ones.

It's also incredibly NSFW.

Now I'm just going to cry in a corner at the state of humanity.