Subject: Oh, Ciaphas...
Author:
Posted on: 2012-04-18 20:28:00 UTC
He makes me laugh. Oddly enough, I'm currently reading through Defender of the Imperium for the first time atm. "Surviving the 41st Millennium, one battle at a time." *snicker*
So ... if I want to alert 'dem agents to really bad fanfics that would make people scream incomprehensibly, would I just give a link here?
I faithfully report a badfic called Tokyo Mew Mew No Hope Left.
I'm pretty sure it's a troll fic, but I swear that is nearly as entertainingly and brain-breakingly bad as My Immortal. It isn't that bad at first, but dear god, the places it goes in the later chapter.
I have never run across a sue as bad as this, I swear.
Preps were staring at me angrily. They were wearing bermuda shorts and leggings. A guy in a yellow polo shirt said, "NICE BOOTS STUPID GOTH GIRL. WANNA GO OUT!??" I killed him with a knife. -Chapter 12
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8055531/2/TheHungerGamesEveryStarEveryPlanet
Yes. You read that right. The Hunger Games crossed over with darn near every other popular fandom.
DRANG IT TO THE DEEPEST PITS OF HECK!
stoppleasestopit
this offends my brain
so much
Duty is duty, as Captain Silver says.
Whaaaaaaat? No. Caesar Flickerman cannot jump continuums. Never. It is HERESY.
Has anyone read the "Baby Daddy" series?
Here's one of the worse ones:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5028158/1/ShikamaruNaraBaby_Daddy
And here's a link to her profile, she's written many of them, including one for Link (Legend of Zelda):
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1870084/Zall88
Yup.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7801464/2/Series6TwistedandTurned
Apparently the main character can remember the Silence.
Um.
I heard that later on it's revealed that she's a speshul kind of Time Lord, but I could barely make it through the first chapter and a half.
Would anyone be interested in killing this with me?
SHE KNOWS SHE'S IN THE TV SHOW?!
... Kill it dead. Now.
Mundar and Vernet are happy to help. Heck, I might bring in my DMS agents, instead/too. But SOMEONE needs to kill this thing.
How do you want to do this? I have a Google account, Yahoo Mail, and also DeviantArt and FFN if you want to get complicated.
And yes, I've read further and she's a freaking speshul Time Lord with flashy gold/silver eyes.
Urge to kill rising.
I actually haven't seen too much of the sixth season of Doctor Who, but I've had all the relevant parts spoilered. [Little brothers...] And UGH! UGH UGH UGH.
cocoafoof@yahoo.com
I don't believe I have Messenger, since you have to download that, right?
But whatevs.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7949201/1/bIbWillbTrybTobFixbbYou_b
Even if you haven't read The Hunger Games, you can tell that there's something seriously wrong with this fic.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8001596/1/ShesaSurvivorThatOne
This one has Sue!Katniss.
Won the 70th Hunger Games at age 12? Volunteered three times for the Hunger Games? What have they done to you, Katniss?
I'm not even sure what's going on in this fanfic...
what?
What?
... What?
Token Tribute? That can't die!?
...
I'm claiming this fic. If this Mary Sue is going to circumvent a critical part of the games' existence (namely, all but one of them have to die) with some stupid crap that doesn't even make any damn sense...
I agree. The Gamemakers may cause trouble, though, with that rule.
I wish you and your agents good luck dealing with this travesty.
Well, at least the chapters are short. That's about the only good thing this fic has going for it though.
Going slightly off-topic; am I the only one that is amused by disclaimers which deny ownership of OCs? I quote from chapter 3 of this one: 'DISCLAIMER-I OWN NOTHING!'
What, not even the character Sera and the concept of a tribute which isn't allowed to be attacked? I guess I must have missed those in my reading of the books...
Made even more (unintentionally) humorous in this case, due to a double negative in the disclaimer for chapter 4, which would seem to imply that Suzanne Collins was not the creator of Hunger Games; 'DISCLAIMER; DON'T OWN NOTHIN'!'
Now if you own nothing, then you own... nothing; fairly simple and straightforward. But if you DON'T own nothing, are you trying to say you own EVERYTHING?
It's amusing how they get progressively more incoherent with every chapter.
Peeta in allcaps rage? ... that's Mockingjay-only stuff.
15 family members? In District 12? You wouldn't make it past age 4. Oh, yeah, they're "family members" all... of whom wouldn't take her in after her father died. Never mind the black hole where a mother presumably used to be.
Screaming at Effie and throwing a bottle of wine at her head because Peeta likes a girl, which you say you've already known for a while. Maybe it took years to sink in?
Oh, yeah. Haymitch is her uncle. Sure.
And how the heck is she best friends with Cato and Clove?!
...made up a type of tribute that can't die. Wha-?!
Oh, yeah. Cato wants her, so she's going to make him kill the girl she's jealous of. Uh, extreme much? *headshake*
"That's a nasty looking welt. Are you alright?" she says. For the first time in two years, I turn to Katniss and speak.
"Go to hell. I didn't need your friendship or concern before the Reaping, and I don't need it now."
MUST DIE! KILL IT!
...nine reviewers all agreed that it was wonderful; no wonder the author is so... bwaa!
... in this Evangelion fic:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7928183/1/EVANGELIONNEXGEN
Capitalisation and punctuation are... haphazard at best. And the main OC is a thoroughly dislikeable [CENSORED], who attacks (and possibly kills) one of his colleagues without provocation, and is still working for NERV the next day. With no repercussions whatsoever.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8042636/1/Gravity
One step removed from a smutfic. What would it be called, a makeoutfic? :P
Cheap use of the sequence where the main characters are chained together to create Yaoi That Should Not Be. OOCness of just. About. Everyone. Especially Light and L.
(To ship them off, you have to explain why they're no longer mortal enemies... which is hard to do, at best. I ship them, but only when it's well-written.)
And an A/N which makes me want to spork my eyes out. Ughhhh.
Wow, this is bad. I don't have any problem with the pairing during the chain arc, but this is really very bad. Didn't the author notice that Light *currently has no memory of the Death Note, and thus cannot think of writing down people's names in it*? Also, "brunette" for a male character is a pet peeve of mine, although it is acceptable if the POV character thinks he's a girl--which usually happens to Mello. And that author's note... I have to go repress my memories now.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7913186/1/TheWorldIs_Mine
It's supposed to be a Twilight/ Hetalia cross-over. All it is is Twilight's plotline with an OC main character and Hetalia characters randomly inserted in. The thing that really got me was the nicknames: Henry for Heracles and Felix for Feliciano. Never mind that this series already has a Felix (Poland)
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8023090/1/young_love
Self insert fic. Horrible abuse of SPaG, inappropriate use of Japaneese sufixes and a spontanious appearanc by Inuyasha. All I can say is that I really hope that it's a troll.
Or really, really stupid.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8037667/1/harryPotterSpaceMarine
I don't know the Warhammer 40K continuum, but in the ONE Potterverse-Paragraph, they butchered things. >>
Trolling or no, this is laughably bad. I can't even understand what's going on. There's no punctuation, very sporadic capitalization, and bad spelling mixed in - and that's not even brought me to the complete lack of any sort of segue from the Space Marine scene to SUDDENLY HARRY! And then suddenly Space Marines again.
Not to mention inventing beer for the Space Wolves, and cowardly Space Marines to boot. And giving his characters stupid names. And implying that a Sergeant is still in Basic Training. And putting Space Marines in robes, instead of the Power Armour WHICH THEY'RE FRAKKING ATTACHED TO. And defying...no, never mind, Warp travel isn't exactly the most reliable process to begin with. Aaanyway, also having a Space Marine hiding behind a bush. They don't MAKE bushes big enough to hide an 8-foot walking rapemachine, people.
...Why am I mentally writing up a Charge list right now? BAD Riese! NO summary executions!
Not to mention the spelling and grammar. I especially like how the author is capitalizing things apparently at random.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6373108/1/OrganizationschoolmagicclubEPISODE_1
Has anyone dealt with this... travesty yet? Is this even a Young Wizards fic? I get this nagging feeling that the author may have posted it in the wrong section...
I've read EVERY BOOK. This looks like something from a Japanime, wrongly placed in 'Young Wizards'.
Still a bit confused about Ponch, but you know, that stuff happens in weird timey-wimey stuff like this.
So... um... I was wondering... WHY DO THEY HAVE JAPANESE NAMES AND WHERE ARE NITA AND KIT AND AAAGGHH *cries in a corner*
I thought Ponch was the dogs' version of the One, and thus, could come back if he wanted?
I think this is a misfiled Nanoha fic or something.
But why didn't he come back, then? He knew how much it was hurting Kit and the only time we ever got any mention of him coming back was at the end of WaW, and that was only for one page. It seemed like he would still be visiting, but that never happened in aWoM...
No idea what Nanoha is, but it still looks horrible even for that.
I haven't managed to finish aWoM (college hates life), but there's probably at least one more book in the mix, maybe we'll get an answer then.
I still can't forgive her for killing off Roshaun- I ship Roshaun and Dairine, when they get older, only it's starting to look like that won't happen. :P
...I vaguely know that it's a Japanese magical girl show intended for adult men. :P My knowledge of canon is extremely spotty there. (Read: Nonexistent.) And yeah... true, that.
First, Nanoha's last name is Takamachi. It's a Magical Girl show, but about five episodes into the first season it became epic. Now it's more of a mecha anime with many explosions and girls in cute costumes (their magic staffs are powered by cartridges! As in a revolver!). In any case, this badfic has nothing to do with it besides the first name and that it has magic in it.
Says there's a few different versions of Nanoha. Maybe he's using a Stupid Version or something?
There aren't any Nanoha canon AUs that would fit this. In the main canon, there are three seasons, taking place at different points in the timeline, and two ongoing manga. There is also the Nanoha Portable canon, which is an AU that breaks off from the main canon at one point at the end of the second season. None of these have Nanoha Rukia, or have her teach as anything other than a magical/aerial combat instructor for a transdimensional police organization as an adult.
Apologies. I thought maybe there was one season like Braveheart 2 that no one wants to remember or something.
And now I see what's going on here. Someone likes Nanoha and Rukia from Bleach, and tried to combine them into one poorly-described, script-format Sue. Yes?
We already had to kill one. The mission in question, soon to be released, required FIVE Agents to team up.
And we've got another one on the kill list that will be just as hard.
No, it seems to be an ordinary bit with her name. The last names are different, so this has nothing to do with MSLN.
'Ere We Go!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6199741/1/Rescue
Warhammer 40k. Completely fraks up canon, in sooo many ways. Terrible grammar, capitalization, punctuation, etc. Adds ranks to the Adeptus Astartes, Has Astartes praying to the Emperor (essentially their greatgreatgreatgreatgreat granddad), reorganized the Adeptus Astartes into regiments, and Annoying Me (don't ... with 40k. Not on my watch).
Can I have this one, when I've been around long enough?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3704173/1/bWarhammerb40kThe13th_Faction
I...can barely even understand this. It's like he took all the "popular" characters from all the various Final Fantasy universes, smashed them together, and stuck the whole mess into 40k. Along with double-tapping physics, resurrecting the canon whose death was the BASIS for FF X and X-2, and...and...*incoherent screaming*
But it's worse than just that. Most of it is bloody illegible, like, Eye of Argon - style. Chooses the wrong word, then misuses it. It's so bad I can't even begin to grasp what's going on.
Emperor preserve us, there's MORE! BY THE SAME AUTHOR!
Holy God-Emperor, this pillock has managed to actually make me angry. He's screwed with Fire Emblem, Halo, Final Fantasy, Warhammer 40k, Warhammer Fantasy, Pirates of the Caribbean, and...no. NO! METROID! NOT METROID!
Can I write a mission that covers multiple works/canons simultaneously? It'd take too damned long to do them all separately.
I once found an NSFW 40k fanfic involving 'relations' between an Ork and a Space Marine. It was evil.
Isn't that biologically impossible? In, like, 47 different ways at once?
It was TOTALLY non-con, and epic-level bad slash.
It didn't happen to be called "Squad Broken!" did it?
Of course. What else would it be?
But yeah. I mean, there's really not much to that one (or its *shudder* sequel). Dunno how I'd even go about sporking it. I think I'll leave that for some poor sap in Bad Slash.
Why would anyone think that was a good idea?!
...Of course, I guess I should probably try and keep some perspective: It's still better than that one 40K fic where everyone converts to Christianity and all the galaxy's problems are instantly solved. >_
...What? What is this you speak of? Is it dead, or can I have a go at it?
The title was "Unified Races," and I found it via TVtropes (SoBadItsGood/Fanfic, specifically). It was really stupid.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6736078/1/YouBelongWith_Me
This was my first ever Badfic. It was awe full! This was too much for me to handle!
HOW IS THIS LIKE, EVEN REMOTELY RELATED TO VAMPIRE THE MASQUERADE?! AT ALL!?!?!
SHE STOLE A FEW OF THE NAMES OF CANON VTM CHARACTERS FOR HER FRAKKIN' STUES!
/Capslock of rage
Sorry. VtM is the fandom that got me writing fanfiction. I love the elegant menace of it, the feeling of struggling with a monster inside yourself, the way that you have to look long and hard at yourself to be anything remotely approaching the hero-
AND THIS GIRL STOMPS ALL OVER IT. KILL THIS WITH FIRE.
And then you get this bint, who doesn't get ANY of that,
Because there is a difference. This fic isn't Vampire:the Masquerade, it's Vampire: the Masquerade Bloodlines. The former is a tabletop game, while the latter is a video game based on the tabletop game.
And I KNOW RIGHT!! And she- Heather! Look what she did to Heather! Poor, poor Heather!
By the way...If I do decide to take this on as a mission, there's no way I can do this alone... *hint* *hint*
Sort of. My best friend (and longtime crush) got me into Bloodlines ages ago so that we could do RPs based on it.
I've never played the actual game. But I've watched a couple Let's Plays, including the INCOMPARABLY funny Marik Plays Bloodlines.
...Did she seriously forget that [SPOILERS DO NOT READ] Therese and Jeanette are the same person?? Seriously? I figured that out by their first argument. >_>
And SOMEONE obviously has the hots for the Prince. Gall, I always thought he was a smug [CENSORED]. *is an Anarch to the core... and Nines Rodriguez may or may not be one of my L.O.s*
...Speaking of which. WHAT. WHAT THE PROVERBIAL FORK. Nines Rodriguez is NOT 'gross'!! And Damsel can be a beeyotch, yes, but she's NOT a shallow beeyotch who humps Nines' leg!! NINES WOULD NOT GIVE UP WITHOUT A FIGHT. The HELCK.
WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE DEAR AND FLUFFY LORD?! I'm a Republican! That's NOT what we think! And I shop at Hot Topic and I'm NOT A CUTTER. This suethor is MAKING ME HATE HER.
I must not flame. Flame is the mind-killer....
Okay. I would be HAPPY to work with you on this. ...Vernet and Mundar wouldn't work so well here (neither of them know canon, and neither of them are particularly interested in vampires).
But I have an agent who's going to be rescued from Dark Yagami. She's referred to only as 'The Girl From The Bus'. She tried to kill the Stu, and in a fic like that, that's a bright little ray of sunlight. Of course, you'll need to get rid of her ability to use five guns at once... but a quick stint in the reality room can fix that, and some anti-lustin can fix her... other qualities.
She's going to need some training and a partner. Maybe this mission can be her first?
If you can, head over to the chat in 5 hours (I'll be home then) and we can talk! You might have to ping me though.
I have Yahoo messenger, if you'd like to use that.
Keep trying to get the chat working, because a lot of people frequent there, and many fun conversations are had. Try hitting the little x at the top of the chat, which will disconnect you, then going back in again. It takes a few tries for me sometimes.
Other then that, you could try using Chatzilla to connect to it.
However, if neither of these work, I do have Skype (We don't have to voice chat), a yahoo email account(Can I use Yahoo messenger with it?), and facebook(as a last resort).
As does messenger. I don't want to give out my address here (seeing as it contains my Real Name), but if you wanna give me your Yahoo Messenger ID...
*grin*
I need some help developing the character of Bus Girl anyway. She doesn't even have a proper name yet.
I've never actually used Yahoo messenger. It would be much easier to use the chat, just keep trying. Or, better yet, take a screen shot of what you see when you try to enter it, and post it. If it's what I think it is, then it might be an easy fix.
I'm not seeing any text. >_>
If you want my gmail address, it's sciencefair200@gmail.com.
Try Chatzilla without knowing what it is. :P
It's a plugin type thing for Firefox to access IRC. You can find it here. Follow the instructions on the Chatzilla website there and you'll be able to join the channel pretty easily. It is #PPC on irc.sorcery.net
Attempting to connect now.
I think email is the way to go here.
...but do I need Permission first?
As long as the other person has Permission, and they want to co-write with you. Check the FAQ section (Question 4) of the Permission article for more info:
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Permission
Sorry, mate. Good luck.
Blah, I hate waiting. How long do I have to be around before I can apply? *Too lazy to look at wiki*
White Wolf made Vampire: The Masquerade, and also made Exalted. Can we throw her to the First and Forsaken Lion? How about the other Deathlords? How about putting her in Malfeas? Please? I think this is canon defilement at best, and HERESY! at worst. Let us kill it fast, quiaff?
Or the Flowers will get mad.
Mind, there are PLENTY of horrible ways for her to die in VtM alone. ACTUAL Groat and Therese should be enough.
Or full of aw no?
...I guess I'll report my recent headdesk-inducing find here. I have no idea if anyone else here has played Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey, but if you have, behold this stupidity: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7763414/1/TheLogicalConclusion
TL;DR: the author makes up two uncanonical gods (because apparently SMT didn't have enough already), screws the timeline up, misrepresents the goals of two of the three factions, and makes everyone unable to come up with rejoinders to his brilliant conclusion that all life on Earth should be annihilated. Also, the unnamed protagonist manages to hold off three of the most dangerous characters in the game at once (admittedly, he has the two of the highest-level demons available and a misspelled version of another, but once he's dodging Sinner's Song, Requiem, Charge+Adaptation, and Chaos Tack all at once, he's still gonna be having some freakin' trouble).
I..This is...What in.....*dies*
I have found a fanfiction that makes me want to destroy the author's house from orbit. It's so terrible that an entire sub-culture grew around the fic that focused on killing one of the characters in it due to the evils of it.
It's incredibly NSFW. VERY, VERY NSFW. IT IS ALSO INCREDIBLY EVIL.
To summarise it, eight year old girl from Tenchi Muyo arrives in real life. Is promptly brutally raped and murdered by pedophile.
That is a simplified summary on the Barge Pole Threads of Spacebattles.
I clicked on the link. Then I promptly closed it after a minute or so.
NSFW. Incredibly NSFW. VERY NSFW.
You know what, I'm not even going to give a link. It is just named Kanashii no Imi. Third result on Google, below the two TvTropes ones.
It's also incredibly NSFW.
Now I'm just going to cry in a corner at the state of humanity.
Bleeprin! For the love of Eru, Bleeprin! MY EYES!
This needs to die. Screaming.
I agree. We need to call an Exterminatus on it.
In point of fact, I'm amazed there isn't a single 40k mission here. I mean, "Love Can Bloom," anyone? Heresy of the worst sort.
I believe that the 40k universe is a bit too dark and threatening to agents to go into. But all we need is some incredibly courageous agents who will go into the dark depths of the universe itself to destroy these fics.
Behold the Goldion Crusher. A giant hammer created from the union of three of Earth's battleships and used by the mecha known as GaoGaiGar to destroy a massive planet that served as the foul Xeno's regeneration/cloning device.
It turns things into photons, thereby bestowing the God-Emperor's light onto its targets.
We need to use one on the evilest fanfics.
It looks a lot like the Emperor's transformer Terminator armour (Yes, Holy Terra is a Transformer).
And I dunno about the Agents. For all its Grimdark, there is actually a LOT of hilarious stuff that goes down in the 41st Millennium.
Take, for example, Ork artillery Grots. They go deaf really fast, so they have to resort to a crude Sign language. (I'm ripping this sentence straight from the Codex) Unfortunately, a Grot can only carry so many signs at a time.
Not to mention that this is the same 'verse that gave us the incredible awesomeness that is Ciaphas Cain (HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!!!).
He makes me laugh. Oddly enough, I'm currently reading through Defender of the Imperium for the first time atm. "Surviving the 41st Millennium, one battle at a time." *snicker*
First, just do a quick check to see if there's already a thread for sharing badfics on the main page. If so, add your post with the new badfic links in a comment there.
If not, feel free to make a new thread!
I do believe you would~
Just make sure you add any required NSFW/NSFB warnings~ ^^