Anyways... One, I liked the ending, but anyways that's beside the point. This completely messes up the ending, as in it gives Madoka and Homura powers they shouldn't have. For example, after the end, I don't think Homura can go back in time. Even if she COULD, that shouldn't allow Madoka to appear on Earth. Also, why did Madoka going back in time make Sayaka appear in an explosion? Why could Sayaka remember being in Puella Magi heaven?
The screwing up relationships--no, I'm not referring to the yuri, I'm talking about the relations between Homura and Sayaka. And I quote:
"I grunt quietly, she's the one I did never really like too much because she was the one who ended up being the closest to Madoka, after a few times of time revision, and she was also often very rude to me"
No, that's not why Homura disliked Sayaka. Homura's not possessive, and she wants Madoka to be happy. She's become DETACHED from Sayaka because she knows she will become a witch or die, not because she was stealing Madoka from her.
I don't hate yuri. I love the yuri relationships between Madoka and Homura, Sayaka and Kyoko, and in other animes. It's just that this fanfic messes up the other relationships between characters in the anime, the friendships.
Oh, and one more thing: "It had really been great to see my parents again after such an extremely long time, since Akemi-san had been able to save this world from getting destroyed for long 1000 years, even when the last human was killed and no other Puella Magis except her existed, she still fought, hoping to save Madoka from becoming a witch. She and Madoka had been talking, again and again when Madoka had found a way to talk to her. But after sometime Akemi-san's Soul Gem had turned black but she didn't die, she cried, tried to make Madoka kill her but Madoka would never kill her, she just told her that Akemi-san had become an angel and even a corrupted Soul Gem, couldn't kill her, in fact all wounds of the world wouldn't kill her, she had become immortal.
As she didn't need to clean her soul gem anymore, she fought more and she nearly became mad, like I had so often in the old universe, but Madoka was always able to keep her sane, cheer her up and make her fight on."
What a wonderful idea, except for a) it was never established in previous chapters that Homura was anything but a regular Puella, b) the demons apparently destroyed the world a short time after Madoka's wish, not a thousand years later (and even then, if human civilization was gone, why did Madoka wait that long?) and most egregiously, c) that is all apparently taken from the goodfic A History of Magic, which takes the time to establish the Angels and makes it work with good writing. This fic seems to have plagiarized it without doing anything that made the original good.
Also, please read the Board Constitution--specifically rules 2 and 4.