Whoa.

AUGH MY BRAIN. SPORKING REQUIRED. by AnnaBee on 2012-03-12 01:37:00 UTC Reply

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2095956/1/WindsofChange

THIS. THING. NEEDS. SPORKING.

I found it while doing a less-than-authorized PPC roleplay with my mate Andi, just for fun. But... I'm not even qualified to spork it, it's this bad.

... == Fic contains a Mary Sue who's the daughter of Sauron, the sister of Tom Riddle, and the 'God Daughter' of Gandalf. Who's half-elf.

No, I'm not making this up. .__________.

*hands out bleeprin all round*

Winds Of Change by MintyCoolness on 2012-03-20 12:59:00 UTC Reply

I read this and...chapters are too short, the sue was to the extreme and couldn't find the will power to continue past chapter 5.

*gasps* I'll be needing some of that bleeprin.
Re: AUGH MY BRAIN. SPORKING REQUIRED. by Aeidhryn on 2012-03-13 01:23:00 UTC Reply

A) This person has obviously never heard of the show-don't-tell concept.

B) I am ashamed of Canada now.

Re: AUGH MY BRAIN. SPORKING REQUIRED. by Anonymous on 2012-03-16 02:51:00 UTC Reply

Regarding point A,

I really don't think I could handle the mental images that would come with this fic if it was properly descriptive. It's bad as it is, and I don't think I could handle a higher level of description.

Still, it isn't mind-meltingly bad, just very, very, very bad. I recommend an Eversor Assassin be injected into the world-construct to deal with Voldemort. Gandalf can be healed with logical arguments, and this particular Sauron should be nuked.

Sorry... by gibbousmoons on 2012-03-16 02:54:00 UTC Reply

I forgot to fill in my information. I've been spending too much time in the Pit, searching for good Naruto crossovers, and I haven't seen a LOTR badfic crossover in so long that it must have messed with me more than I thought.

Sauron... and Gandalf... but Riddle's sister... by Tawaki on 2012-03-13 00:42:00 UTC Reply

The fact that she can throw Saruman around like it's nothing indicates Sue!per strength. To whoever takes this I offer Agent Canta Enquëo, a LotR elf who was assimilated by the Borg back in December 2006 HST.

Yikes by CDHammer on 2012-03-13 04:15:00 UTC Reply

Yep, I know this may not be Middle-Earth shattering, but it is still pretty poor.

On that note,I could put forward both of my agents for assistance if multiple RC's are required (doubtful).

... by Gone Rampant on 2012-03-12 18:10:00 UTC Reply

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

*Deep breath*

Why, why, why? I thought we were good Jesus, I thought we were kind to you- apart from the killing you thing... Maybe we did have this coming.

Anyway, to paraphrase the story, thatwas...ingterribleandihopethatwhoevertakesuptherightfuldutyofkillingthisstorydoesit,knowingthattheywillbedoingtheworldafavour.

If you read that, good on you.
What I found worst so far... by Ellipsis Flood on 2012-03-12 14:32:00 UTC Reply

And by so far I mean the first chapter.

Fic: "Blablablablabla..."
Me: "Wait. What? I think I slipped up or down a line."

The only thing it lacks is the constant use of 'and then.'

So it IS that bad. O.O by AnnaBee on 2012-03-12 16:36:00 UTC Reply

I couldn't tell, really, over the sound of my own screaming.

Thing is... the insanely depressing thing is... I was *looking* for an over-cliched Suefic with Sauron as the father, because I figured that'd be fun to kill.

Wound up nearly overdosing myself on bleepolate and my agent on bleepsinthe and bleep/cocaine.

*Twitches* What is this i don't even... by OpinionedAngel on 2012-03-12 14:26:00 UTC Reply

Sorry, I think my brain just fused for a moment there...
What the Kriff? by dramaticsoprano on 2012-03-12 13:56:00 UTC Reply

It's one of THOSE fics. I've seen Implausible Crossovers before, but this is just plain ridiculous.

Can someone tell me where the Bleepka is?
Oh, sweet Eru on a stick. My brain threw up just looking at (nm by Sgt_Sporky on 2012-03-12 13:37:00 UTC Reply
Whoa. by VixenMage on 2012-03-12 05:29:00 UTC Reply

Take a deep breath. Yes, the story is awful, but it's just fanfic. Remember, it cannot -actually- mess up Tolkien's world.

Generally, it's encouraged to put 'badfic' posts as replies to already established threads, because every new thread drives an old one off the front page, where people won't see it anymore.

(That said, ye gods this is bad. I wonder what it says that my first thought is "Gandalf? Wouldn't Morgoth be the first choice of Sauron's offsprings' guardian?)
Re: AUGH MY BRAIN. SPORKING REQUIRED. by Frostbiter on 2012-03-12 02:01:00 UTC Reply

(drowns self in bleeprin)
There are just so many things wrong with this fic...
Liketherandomlackofspaces, the blatantly obvious self-insert Sue, the atrocious grammar, and horrible punctuation.
Good luck to whoever sporks this thing.

hahahahahaha ow by Sanejane on 2012-03-14 00:31:00 UTC Reply

I laughed to myself all the way through, but now I'm getting a headache. Where are all the spaces? Hang on, there's a note at the beginning of the last chapter.

"...for some reason they just upload that way."

Ah, it makes so much sense now. (rolls eyes)