Subject: Re: AUGH MY BRAIN. SPORKING REQUIRED.
Author:
Posted on: 2012-03-12 02:01:00 UTC
(drowns self in bleeprin)
There are just so many things wrong with this fic...
Liketherandomlackofspaces, the blatantly obvious self-insert Sue, the atrocious grammar, and horrible punctuation.
Good luck to whoever sporks this thing.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2095956/1/WindsofChange
THIS. THING. NEEDS. SPORKING.
I found it while doing a less-than-authorized PPC roleplay with my mate Andi, just for fun. But... I'm not even qualified to spork it, it's this bad.
... == Fic contains a Mary Sue who's the daughter of Sauron, the sister of Tom Riddle, and the 'God Daughter' of Gandalf. Who's half-elf.
No, I'm not making this up. .__________.
*hands out bleeprin all round*
I read this and...chapters are too short, the sue was to the extreme and couldn't find the will power to continue past chapter 5.
*gasps* I'll be needing some of that bleeprin.
A) This person has obviously never heard of the show-don't-tell concept.
B) I am ashamed of Canada now.
Regarding point A,
I really don't think I could handle the mental images that would come with this fic if it was properly descriptive. It's bad as it is, and I don't think I could handle a higher level of description.
Still, it isn't mind-meltingly bad, just very, very, very bad. I recommend an Eversor Assassin be injected into the world-construct to deal with Voldemort. Gandalf can be healed with logical arguments, and this particular Sauron should be nuked.
The fact that she can throw Saruman around like it's nothing indicates Sue!per strength. To whoever takes this I offer Agent Canta Enquëo, a LotR elf who was assimilated by the Borg back in December 2006 HST.
Yep, I know this may not be Middle-Earth shattering, but it is still pretty poor.
On that note,I could put forward both of my agents for assistance if multiple RC's are required (doubtful).
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
*Deep breath*
Why, why, why? I thought we were good Jesus, I thought we were kind to you- apart from the killing you thing... Maybe we did have this coming.
Anyway, to paraphrase the story, thatwas...ingterribleandihopethatwhoevertakesuptherightfuldutyofkillingthisstorydoesit,knowingthattheywillbedoingtheworldafavour.
If you read that, good on you.
And by so far I mean the first chapter.
Fic: "Blablablablabla..."
Me: "Wait. What? I think I slipped up or down a line."
The only thing it lacks is the constant use of 'and then.'
I couldn't tell, really, over the sound of my own screaming.
Thing is... the insanely depressing thing is... I was *looking* for an over-cliched Suefic with Sauron as the father, because I figured that'd be fun to kill.
Wound up nearly overdosing myself on bleepolate and my agent on bleepsinthe and bleep/cocaine.
Sorry, I think my brain just fused for a moment there...
It's one of THOSE fics. I've seen Implausible Crossovers before, but this is just plain ridiculous.
Can someone tell me where the Bleepka is?
Take a deep breath. Yes, the story is awful, but it's just fanfic. Remember, it cannot -actually- mess up Tolkien's world.
Generally, it's encouraged to put 'badfic' posts as replies to already established threads, because every new thread drives an old one off the front page, where people won't see it anymore.
(That said, ye gods this is bad. I wonder what it says that my first thought is "Gandalf? Wouldn't Morgoth be the first choice of Sauron's offsprings' guardian?)
(drowns self in bleeprin)
There are just so many things wrong with this fic...
Liketherandomlackofspaces, the blatantly obvious self-insert Sue, the atrocious grammar, and horrible punctuation.
Good luck to whoever sporks this thing.
I laughed to myself all the way through, but now I'm getting a headache. Where are all the spaces? Hang on, there's a note at the beginning of the last chapter.
"...for some reason they just upload that way."
Ah, it makes so much sense now. (rolls eyes)