FicPsych by
Neshomeh
on 2012-03-02 17:30:00 UTC
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I'm kind of surprised it never occurred to me to get FicPsych involved, now that you mention it. On the other hand, though, even if I knew a friend of mine was having trouble, if they wouldn't talk to me about it I'm not sure my next reaction would be "okay then, I must make them get therapy." That's kind of a personal decision, and making a suggestion like that to someone who's already in a sensitive state might alienate them even further.
I mean, if it looked like Cindy was suicidal or otherwise likely to harm herself, then yeah, they should have called for help, but that wasn't the case. I think it's plausible that they were so wrapped up in their worries that an outside solution couldn't occur to them. These things happen.
Also, they can't stubbornly not do something that was never even brought up. {= P
Otherwise, thanks for the catch on "to."
Like Herr says, the greater-than is deliberately absent there, following the rule for paragraph breaks within a single speech. It does look weird with different punctuation, though, I agree. O.o
~Neshomeh
Thanks for the feedback! by
HerrWozzeck
on 2012-03-02 13:52:00 UTC
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Yeah, the dialogue gave me a bit of a hard time with trying to make it flow naturally, especially as it got closer to Cindy and Ilraen's conversation.
Hm... I'll admit I never thought about FicPsych and how they'd fit in until the neuralyzation bit involving Thane. So blame that on me. I added a short blurb, so hopefully that'll do it.
I added the 'to' that was missing there. As for the missing greater than sign, it's not there because it segues immediately into the next line of dialogue, which is also from Ilraen.