Very nice job!

First mission! by EileenAlphabet on 2011-07-03 20:08:00 UTC Reply

Mittens and the Radioactive Moss Creature takes on their first (horrible) fic, a crossover between Harry Potter and Doctor Who.
Oh, and please feel free to nitpick all and any mistakes you see.

http://eileen-alphabet.livejournal.com/16533.html

Since the agents are new and don't know a lot of people in HQ, they would like help to locate the owners of the rescued minis. Any minis not collected will be adopted by the agents and feed Sues.

Mini-Reapers:
Galliefrey
Toclafaine

Mini-Aragogs:
Jane
Weasly
Wesley

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*puts on proofreader hat* by Becky-of-the-drayni on 2011-07-04 20:08:00 UTC Reply

You don't know anything about Harry Potter and the wizarding world except that there is a very popular series of books about them.

This is wrong. The Doctor mentioned reading Deathly Hallows (I don't remember the exact episode, but I'm pretty sure it was during Series 2), so he would know more than that. It's understandable that Mittens wouldn't know this, but I thought I'd mention it.

If I'm going to do this, I may as well go through the whole thing:

Then the authors voice boomed.

Author's.

the story flickered trough Lucius, Draco and Narcissa

Through.

A confused looking angel appeared for a moment. It looked around and its expression became one of pure horror, then it disappeared again.

Not wrong exactly, but I would have expected an accidentally-created Whoniverse angel to default to the weeping variety. Maybe because it's a "better angel"?

the Death Eathers were still sitting motionless

Eaters.

[/proofreader]

The nothing around them obediently grew a small name-tag proclaiming it to be the property of the author.

Thanks for this. I quite literally laughed out loud.

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Thank you! I'm on it. by EileenAlphabet on 2011-07-04 21:03:00 UTC Reply

I'm flabbergasted as to how I could not have noticed and remembered the Doctor mentioning that he has read Harry Potter. My fangirl alarm should have gone of like a RC console.
Although I don't think it makes a huge difference in the mission. The point is that after the neuralyzing he should only remember Hermione and the rest as characters in a series of books. Whether he has actually read the books or not, is not that important.
But if I ever do a mission with a Agatha Christie/Doctor Who crossover, I will not fail to get it right.

And I am ashamed that I missed the opportunity for comedy and made it a generic angel, rather than a weeping one. *bows head in shame*

Hehehe! by Fish Custard on 2011-07-04 10:55:00 UTC Reply

I loved it, especially your agents, it's nice to see something different around here!

As for the fic (*bleurgh*), I hate it when people muck with the Doctor Who canon like that. There's so much in-universe you could use to create a great story, and yet people continue to smash other universes into it for the sake of... well I have no idea really! :P

Thank you! by EileenAlphabet on 2011-07-04 11:09:00 UTC Reply

I haven't any idea why they do it either. This fic started out as something wildly non-canon, but at least it looked like it was going to be different and then it deteriorated into the a typical self-insert!replacement!Sue banging the canons. I don't know what the Potterverse was even doing there; it's not like the author actually did anything with it. *shakes head and wishes that we could have bleeprin on World One*

I find that... by Fish Custard on 2011-07-04 11:16:00 UTC Reply

...listening to this is a good substitute for Bleeprin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Vubw2q44FQ

That and watching My Little Pony: FiM, but that's not for everyone. :P

Very nice job! by Gamma on 2011-07-04 03:54:00 UTC Reply

That fic just had to go, and you did it neatly and precisely. Like cutting a tumor out of the canon(s). Well done.

Thank you! by EileenAlphabet on 2011-07-04 09:24:00 UTC Reply

Since it's the agents first mission, they were very concerned with doing a thorough job.

Possible typo report by Krzysztof Drewniak on 2011-07-04 02:16:00 UTC Reply

"After all, there can't be that many authors who knows Hermione has a middle-name, and still manages to misspell it."

You might want to check on the mixture of singular and plural nouns in that sentence.

"you are charged with random changes of tenses and between singular and plural nouns"

This charge seems strangely worded, I would look over it.

"He assumed there was bright flash."

Replace "was bright flash" with "was a bright flash".

Other then that, great mission.

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On it by EileenAlphabet on 2011-07-04 08:03:00 UTC Reply

And thank you.

I like it by Nikolaos on 2011-07-03 22:08:00 UTC Reply

Nice one :)

Thanks! (nm) by EileenAlphabet on 2011-07-04 09:22:00 UTC Reply

Nice mission! by HerrWozzeck on 2011-07-03 21:03:00 UTC Reply

Fun times are had with that mission! I LOL'd at the angel part.

Just as a bit of advice: whenever someone puts up a mission, they usually update the Wiki with the mission, then the pages for the continua, then the pages for the agents themselves, and... you get the point.

I had one small gripe, though: I felt like a lot of it was just skimming through with RMC telling Mittens what to write down. I think it's better if both agents chime in with charges, getting some more banter going about the nature of the charge they're talking about. You got the stuff about what the fic does to the canon down really well, though, so... Yeah.

Good first mission! I can't wait to see more (and especially that Dragon Age fanfic you said you were gonna spork).

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Oh, and ... by EileenAlphabet on 2011-07-03 21:41:00 UTC Reply

... thank you! It seems that excessive wiki-updating is not good for ones manners. ^^
Re: Nice mission! by EileenAlphabet on 2011-07-03 21:38:00 UTC Reply

I've actually been busy updating the wiki with the mission and profiles and stuff. There is actually a ton to update, at least the first time. o_O

I know that Mittens is leaning heavily on the RMC in the mission. As he learns about the different continua he will be able to participate more equally, but for now, he is a bit lost.

I love your method of dealing with the Sue. (nm) by Charlie DoDo on 2011-07-03 20:46:00 UTC Reply

Thank you! (nm) by EileenAlphabet on 2011-07-03 21:41:00 UTC Reply