All of those are pretty bad, but what really got to me was "You might catch ammonia". SERIOUSLY. FFT. YOU CAN'T CATCH A CHEMICAL AS IF IT'S A COLD.

That Calvin and Hobbes fic — did the author miss the part where Calvin's six?

"Calvin fluffed up his pillow to the right fluffiness, then set it back down onto his bedspread, then climbed in. He snuggled up, then watched with fascination as Chic climbed onto the covers, encircled herself three times, then settled under the covers."

"encircled herself three times"

"encircled herself"

Just...thrice-cursed, that's terrible!

Also, the author's user page is a bit troubling.

Oh dear,
Lleu