Subject: Typo correction away!
Author:
Posted on: 2011-05-30 04:21:00 UTC
Those were less grammery nitpicks and more typos. I thank you for pointing them out.
And thank you! I'm having a lot of fun writing Orken and Thomas, and I'm glad to here you find them amusing.
This is, as far as I know, the only mission in the Dr. Horrible continuum. If you are not familiar with it, I do not advise reading this mission, as it contains major spoilers.
Mission Three: A Beautiful Man
In their latest mission, Agents Orken and Thomas take on a villain!Sue after the heart of Dr. Horrible.
Not much to say about this one. No minis to adopt, sad to say, although I still have six unadopted minis from my last mission.
...Er, that said (and sincerely), I've a handful of grammary nitpicks.
After they toss the dummy: The two agents gave it a few seconds, and them followed it. Should probably be 'and then followed' there.
When discussing Moist, you have He talks in a monotone and gets everything disgustingly wet. He is very bland” There should be a period after the last bland.
In the charge list, there's a space missing between ex-girlfriend and creating, and a comma afterwards.
[/Grammar Nazi]
Rather liked it! The interactions between Thomas and Orken are quite amusing-- especially his getting so upset about... getting slightly upset about the 1984 reference. It makes an excellent contrast with his partner-- they're good foils.
Those were less grammery nitpicks and more typos. I thank you for pointing them out.
And thank you! I'm having a lot of fun writing Orken and Thomas, and I'm glad to here you find them amusing.
Nicely done! I know a bit aboout Dr. Horrible's Insane Blog, but haven't seen much of the musical myself.
(NOTE TO SELF: Watch the whole thing as soon as possible)
Like Thomas, I'm a big fan of Neil Patrick Harris, for both his acting talents and good looks.
(And yes, I am aware he is gay, but there's no rule saying I can't look, right?)
It wouldn't matter even if you were male and he was attracted to you. He's in a committed relationship now.
Much like Thomas, I identify as a heterosexual male, but I would make and exception for NPH...
Even as a (currently) asexual female, I'm not opposed to a bit of ogling...
(Now if you'll excuse me, I need to watch Doctor Horrible's Insane Blog, hopefully all the way through the time...)
I must've been thinking about something else. Thanks for pointing it out...
Another great mission Guv, keep 'em coming.
Billy/Penny being one of the few pairings that tugs at even my heartstrings, this Sue was rather displeasing to me. Glad to see her gone. I'm also glad we've now got a Dr. Horrible mission under our collective belt!
I didn't really follow what Thomas was doing to the Sue's body at the end. I don't remember a device that turned things into smoothies in the canon (although it has been a while since I've watched it, so maybe I've just forgotten). I also don't see why Thomas was able to figure out how to work it.
Also, while Thomas and Orken are discussing the television in the beginning, you have an extra "if" in Orken's sentence: "Honestly Agent Thomas, this does not strike me as a large canon violation, but if you can charge for it if you want."
It was a transmatter ray. (Remember the dissolved gold in the beginning?) And I justify Thomas figuring out how to work it with his experience using portals. That, and I really wanted to use it to dissolve the Sue...
Also, typo, gah!
If you haven't already seen it, it's only 30 minutes long and freely available on Youtube!
As a beta for this mission, I approve :P
I really like the bit at the end where Orken reports himself to the SO. It was so ... unexpected, and therefore really funny!
It's the professional thing to do... which is unexpected in the PPC. I'm glad that it's coming off as funny.
Professhiwhatnow?
It was very well done, unexpected and I liked it.