Oh my. by
Lynne Lloyd
on 2013-05-20 15:36:00 UTC
Reply
Oh dear goodness. I barely got past the first chapter...
I hope the situation can be helped.
Bagsies on Raina the Nymph-Sue. by
Lily Winterwood
on 2013-05-20 03:11:00 UTC
Reply
Because Eledhwen needs a nymph punching bag.
Also because once upon a time I once wrote a LotR parody where the first known appearance of Eledhwen had a friend named Raina and the two of them (along with another elf named Cristiel) tormented a bunch of Sues. It'd be interesting to see Eledhwen's reaction to this Sue.
Commas! by
Sevenswans
on 2013-05-19 18:17:00 UTC
Reply
Right, this is... well, yeah, badfic. But the age of the author from writing analysis alone appears to be both painfully obvious and painfully young. *Does mental calculation* I'd assume that the author is younger than fifteen, and I'm pretty certain that this is them trying.
... Sweet Eru, what is this fascination ficthors have with Nymphs in Arda? The only thing I can think of that would give them the impression that they existed is Goldberry, and Goldberry's an oddity.
And Glaurung it, if you need to put "Flashback" and "End of Flashback," I'm sending you back to remedial formatting school!
Arrrrrrrgh. by
DawnFire
on 2013-05-19 07:37:00 UTC
Reply
Dagorlad, but no Morgoth. Stupidly trusting hobbits. A non-elvish name. Purple descriptions, an angsty past, and, once again, nymphs. Ugh. And that's only a few of the problems. For instance, why is she swearing by Aule? How has she failed to Fade, be really traumatized, or sail to Valinor? And why does the entire thing read like 'I read LotR and the Silm, and I didn't understand either one!'
At least Elrond's not a king again. She got that bit right. And at least she can't add the Doom of Mandos to her angsty past (I hope).
But if she starts mangling elvish languages as well...let's just say Ive got a pair of agents who would be happy to take on this mission. Actually, I'd be happy to take it on anyway, but I do have rather a lot of missions planned right now, so I'll let someone else take it, if they want it. And I may MST it for the Library; I think I can yell at and analyse it humorously enough.
Ick. Bad Suefic. I've seen worse, but still...ugh.
~DF
Eurgh... by
Karen
on 2013-05-19 02:15:00 UTC
Reply
I think the part that really gets me is that there was a first version, which must've been worse than the current one. x.x