Subject: That's what I said!
Author:
Posted on: 2013-05-19 17:09:00 UTC
Which reminds me, I have a (second version of a) mission starring yet another half-Elf half-nymph to finish. I should probably do that at some point.
~DF
Trawling the LoTR section on the Pit and found a truly horrible little gem titled 'We All Fall Down.' Objectionable elements but are not limited to: being the last of Gil-galad's line, being the daughter of a water nymph, trivializing hobbits, treating hobbits as if they were three-year-olds, eyes changing color, knocking Glorfindel off his feet, and creating unspecified streams of water...oh, yeah, and we have a mini-Balrog in there too.
Here's the link; have fun with it.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9302905/1/We-All-Fall-Down
Oh dear goodness. I barely got past the first chapter...
I hope the situation can be helped.
Because Eledhwen needs a nymph punching bag.
Also because once upon a time I once wrote a LotR parody where the first known appearance of Eledhwen had a friend named Raina and the two of them (along with another elf named Cristiel) tormented a bunch of Sues. It'd be interesting to see Eledhwen's reaction to this Sue.
I've contacted the author and am now betaing for her.
Right, this is... well, yeah, badfic. But the age of the author from writing analysis alone appears to be both painfully obvious and painfully young. *Does mental calculation* I'd assume that the author is younger than fifteen, and I'm pretty certain that this is them trying.
... Sweet Eru, what is this fascination ficthors have with Nymphs in Arda? The only thing I can think of that would give them the impression that they existed is Goldberry, and Goldberry's an oddity.
And Glaurung it, if you need to put "Flashback" and "End of Flashback," I'm sending you back to remedial formatting school!
I am feeling a distinct sense of vindication here.
Which reminds me, I have a (second version of a) mission starring yet another half-Elf half-nymph to finish. I should probably do that at some point.
~DF
Dagorlad, but no Morgoth. Stupidly trusting hobbits. A non-elvish name. Purple descriptions, an angsty past, and, once again, nymphs. Ugh. And that's only a few of the problems. For instance, why is she swearing by Aule? How has she failed to Fade, be really traumatized, or sail to Valinor? And why does the entire thing read like 'I read LotR and the Silm, and I didn't understand either one!'
At least Elrond's not a king again. She got that bit right. And at least she can't add the Doom of Mandos to her angsty past (I hope).
But if she starts mangling elvish languages as well...let's just say Ive got a pair of agents who would be happy to take on this mission. Actually, I'd be happy to take it on anyway, but I do have rather a lot of missions planned right now, so I'll let someone else take it, if they want it. And I may MST it for the Library; I think I can yell at and analyse it humorously enough.
Ick. Bad Suefic. I've seen worse, but still...ugh.
~DF
I think the part that really gets me is that there was a first version, which must've been worse than the current one. x.x
And then again, it's great that they're trying to improve their writing. That's what fanfiction is for, isn't it?
It's atrocious writing. I can't even come up with a witty comment about how sad it was. But at the same time they should be congratulated for their persistence. Everyone starts somewhere.