Subject: The Sue
Author:
Posted on: 2011-05-04 17:22:00 UTC
Okay. If you get permission, you can have her. Although first I would suggest you read the mission that came before this (if you haven't already) as well as the fic she is native to.
https://docs.google.com/document/pub?id=1xXPg5_nT1dpXFPj5EdEXgmjCKBzSdzkNolMs23qro
Title: Interlude Two: Understanding
Summary: Thomas Greenwall and Orken 7861 tie up the loose ends from their last mission.
Not much to say about this, other than the summary. I guess I could remind you that there are still six minis from the last mission up for adoption.
Oh, Orken. You try so hard to be a jerk, but if you keep showing mercy to Sues and being understanding toward your annoying partner, you'll not be fooling anyone for long. ^^ Being human rubs off on you, doesn't it?
So, yeah, finally got a chance to read the last mission and this, and had fun. I really do enjoy the fact that Thomas is the homicidal psychopath of the pair. It's never quite what I expect, which is awesome.
Some SPaG issues persist--for one, when addressing someone with a title, as in Agent Thomas, the title always needs to be capitalized. Since you're writing for Orken, you have to keep an eye on that. I recommend making use of the Find feature when you finish writing; it's a good way to check that your usage of X is consistent with its context each time X appears.
My moment of zen: Orken unbending enough to clean up puke. Beautiful. ^^
~Neshomeh
I got them. Ironically enough, both instances of "agent" not being capitalized were not addressed towards Thomas.
And I'm glad you liked the mission and interlude.
...you meant the mission and the interlude. Many more to be found there. About half of them were capitalized, and half weren't. They're fixed now.
Have I ever mentioned I love Orken and Thomas? Because I do. They are brilliant.
Also--love the vomit thing. Not vomit itself, just the whole vomit thing in this interlude.
...what are you going to do next?
It was fun to read and I'm seriously curious about what will happen next.
Also, since I applied for permission, I'd like to ask you for the Sue. Just in case I get permission, of course.