Weeell, that's not strictly correct.

Subject: Weeell, that's not strictly correct.
Author: L'homme_Arbre
Posted on: 2011-01-28 13:09:00 UTC

For one thing, there's no such thing as 'canon slash'. Slash is a type of fanfic, a noncanonical, generally explicit, romance between two canon characters. It's called slash because it's generally tagged with a note that says 'Character A/Character B' to indicate who is being slashed. Slash generally but not exclusively refers to a m/m pairing. Femslash is f/f, and het (not hetslash, just het) is the traditional m/f. Please note that explicit 'romance' between a canon and an OC is not any sort of slash; it has to be between two canon characters for it to count. There are other subtleties, but I am too lazy to list them all.

However, if the part you object to is simply the whole m/m or f/f pairing in the first place, this explanation has done absolutely nothing to change your mind. But that's okay, because the point of this is to explain slash in greater detail, not change your opinion on anything. Others can, and will do that for me...

P.S. I am sensing from some of your previous responses to various people that you're thinking of putting agents into the DMS. That's all well and good, but have you considered all your options? Specifically, I'm thinking of the DBS. You could be great, you know...It's all here in your head...heh heh heh... ^___^

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Um...hi. by Jacer on 2011-01-28 00:01:00 UTC Reply

Newbie here. *tentatively waves*

I've been informed by the Constitution (the PPC Board one, of course, not the sadly mistreated U.S. one) that I, quote: "should post at least once to introduce themselves (and to receive a bumper sticker from the Official Bumper Sticker Giver or the Deputy Bumper Sticker Giver)"

So, being an obedient little newbie, I am dutifully posting.

(Although I have no car, so I don't know where I would put a bumper sticker. I also have a tiny little dorm room and am fairly poor, so I don't know what I would do with anything resulting from, quote the PPC wiki: "[The Boarders] also tend to try and give you things, if you prove a vulnerable target.")

Here's the shorter version of what became a VERY long post. And it's still very long. Apologies.

1) I have many internet names. On here, I shall go by Jacer.

2) I'm a language nut. Spelling, grammar, punctuation.

3) I'm a rabid Narnia CanonGirl. Books are canon. BBC!movieverse is canon. Lewis' timeline is canon. New!movieverse is complete AU. See 4).

4) I (very) unhappily concede that for the purposes of the PPC, Narnia movieverse is a legitimate continuum, as is Twilight, and they must therefore be protected. That said, the PPC wiki's Twilight page is entirely accurate.

5) I am a member of the Pit since June 2009. I follow the Narnia, Bible, and Coraline archives closely. I greatly lament and bewail the trashing of the Narnia archive. Thanks EVER so much, Walden/Disney/Fox/Adamson/Apted.

6) Incest is wrong. Slash is wrong. BBC Narnia is VASTLY superior to the new ones. New!Susan and New!Caspian flirt a little and she kisses him, nothing more. Fangirls don't love Peter and Edmund and Caspian, they love William and Skandar and Ben. There ought to be a rule that an author's first five Narnia stories include NO OC romance, zip zilch nada.

7) You are welcome to disagree with me on any of the things mentioned in 6), and I usually won't bug you, but attempting to convert me on any of them will be entirely fruitless.

8) None of my OCs ever have or ever will become a love interest of anyone, especially canon characters.

9) I know better than to deny that some of my OCs are Sues. But I'm doing my best to rework them.

10) I've gotten one of my friends interested in the PPC. While this would normally not be a bad thing, what with always needing recruits and all, she has a lot of ideas that don't really fit with established PPC canon. Also, we've both gone over the top with making up agents, and I've realized we need to pick two or three and keep it at that. I am NOT looking forward to telling her this....oh, and did I mention that she's a Twihard?

11) I currently have a whole bunch of "agents" that do PPC-inspired prose MSTing. I call them "the Motley Band". Most of them are my OCs, because it's fun to imagine how they'd would react to badfic in their home continuum.

12) If I ever request permission to write missions, rest assured that I will have a reasonable number of agents (two or three, most likely), as opposed to the Motley Band.

13) The PPC wiki is, in the words of AVPM, "totally awesome."

14) Please don't kill me for the ridiculously long post.

Bye!

Welcome! by Vixenmage on 2011-01-30 19:49:00 UTC Reply

...Ah, that's the other reason your name is ringing little gongs in my head. Jacer goes to both Jace, a Stu in my sister's guilty pleasure novels, City of Ash and their ilk, and Jacer + Narnia + Christianity rings bells of Agent Jaster, who used to hang around here, and whose C. S. Lewis icon reminds me a great deal of 6). I'll have to look it up at some point.

You seem nice, and I look forward to seeing you around here, and hopefully the IRC as well!

A few things, though:
We don't do Bible fic here-- when it was discovered, there was something of a shockwave, and the general decision was No, we don't even want to Go There. I dunno if opinion has changed since then, but... I'm still in the place where Bible fic is just so much Do Not Want.
Secondly, um. On the slash thing. I would love to discuss this with you, but here does not seem like a good place. There are links and things that kind of explain my position on slash, and... well, non-heterosexuality in general, as a ~~bisexual~~ Christian.
Thirdly: Coraline! You're a Neil Gaiman fan? Have you read his other stuff-- or his blog? Are you in any other of his fandoms?

At any rate! Have a spork and a towel, two things a PPCer should never be without! See you around!

Nooooooo!!! by Jacer on 2011-02-26 05:52:00 UTC Reply

Have just discovered (by complete accident) who Jace is. CASSANDRA CLAIRE! Nooooooo!

I do not wish to be associated with the plagiarist!

*calms down*
Drat. by Jacer on 2011-02-02 05:48:00 UTC Reply

And here I thought "Jacer" was an unusual handle. Well, at least it's an acronym.

Regarding Bible fic: L'homme_Arbre taught me a French phrase. I shall use it here: Don't worry. I have no plans of PPCing Bible fic. It's just too...je ne sais quoi. I only mentioned it because it's one of the fandoms I follow.

Regarding Neil Gaiman: GOOD. OMENS. IS. AWESOME. I only check it rarely though, because Narnia takes up most of my fic-time. Sadly I have not read any of the other books he's written.

Regarding slash: Not to seem rude, but...I would rather not discuss slash. I can get defensive and somewhat vitriolic when my faith is involved in any discussion, and it would be impossible to keep it out of this one. Please note that I have absolutely no problem with the people, just the relationships.

Random thought: Why haven't spellcheckers learned that "fandom" is a word yet? Or "fangirl"?

Oh, it is that. by Vixenmage on 2011-02-02 18:50:00 UTC Reply

Just throws my brain for a bit of a loop. I only remarked on it because Jace is such a terrible Stu, and Jaster is such an awesome guy. The juxtaposition was a little odd.

That's good, then. The first/last time Bible fanfic was brought up here, as an aside, was a YHWH/OC monstrosity. That was enough to sour me on the entire fandom.

Good Omens is awesome! I heartily recommend the rest of his stuff, as well-- his short story anthologies are pure, distilled awesome. (Protip: always read the introductions on his anthologies.)

Regarding slash: Fair enough. I definitely sympathise, I've been involved in plenty of discussions on faith that turned ugly. I will leave the topic alone. Do I correctly assume you're Christian?

Heh. Because internet speaks its own language?

You do assume correctly. by Jacer on 2011-02-02 21:09:00 UTC Reply

Catholic to be precise.

I should make a list of real Bible goodfic. Somewhere.

Of course the internet speaks its own language. IZ KOLLED TEH LOLSPEAKZ.

I could swear I heard that "fangirl" had been officially added to the dictionary at some point...

...Ah. by Vixenmage on 2011-02-02 22:36:00 UTC Reply

See, I can't read Biblical fanfic. I... can't. Maybe it's a failing on my part, but I really just can't stretch my mind that far. To me, Bible is in one category, and literature is in another, and fanfic goes with literature. *shrug* Just a personal... thing.

Catholic? Interesting. I'm ~~Baptist~~ ~~Congregationalist~~ ~~Unitarian Universalist~~ Shamanist Christian.
>>
<>*cough* Anyway!

Well, I meant more the words themselves than the actual syntax, but sure. And I don't think 'fangirl' was ever added to the dictionary, but they did add 'meh' at some point.

I think of Bible goodfic as historical fiction... by Jacer on 2011-02-02 23:03:00 UTC Reply

...at least to some extent.

Okay, okay, I'll quit bugging you. :D

Huh. by Vixenmage on 2011-02-03 00:51:00 UTC Reply

Interesting! You're actually not bugging me, it's a perspective I wouldn't think of. I'll have to give it some thought.

Just in case... by Jacer on 2011-02-04 16:46:00 UTC Reply

...you ever get over your revulsion to some extent:

Here's a nice little example of what I think Bible fic OUGHT to be like. Plausible expansion of characters with respect for them and the holiness of the Bible and all that.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6708607/1/Galatians110

And a query: by Vixenmage on 2011-02-01 23:12:00 UTC Reply

Are you/were you at some point a Wardrobian? Just curious-- it seems like the kind of forum, given your fandoms and rant below, that you would have enjoyed.

No, actually. by Jacer on 2011-02-02 01:40:00 UTC Reply

Although I shall now be checking it out...*clicks linky*

Ohhai! by GoblinGirl on 2011-01-28 21:39:00 UTC Reply

Hey there! I still think of myself as a newbie too, considering I almost never post, but...*waves*
Here, have a lemon square and a funny-looking train ticket! If you can guess where I stole the train ticket from, you can have a pony! (Hint: It wasn't San Francisco :D )

Thanks! by Jacer on 2011-01-28 21:50:00 UTC Reply

Mmm, tasty.

re:um...hi. by OpinionedAngel on 2011-01-28 19:45:00 UTC Reply

Hello and welcome to the PPC Posting Board! Here, have some chocolate, and please enjoy your stay!
First plover! (nm) by Tawaki on 2011-01-28 19:01:00 UTC Reply

O_O It's Tawaki! by Jacer on 2011-01-28 20:22:00 UTC Reply

*calms*

Sorry. I tend to do that when someone my head recognizes and has great respect for talks to me.

Aww, the plover is so cute. I shall call it...Penguin. I hope you don't mind?

Sorry, I'm bad at names where World 1 is concerned. by Tawaki on 2011-01-29 19:28:00 UTC Reply

Where do I know you from, again?

*blush* You don't. by Jacer on 2011-01-29 21:13:00 UTC Reply

But I've read several of your missions. And I rather look up to you. And I may have a mild case of fangirl.

welcome... by Vilstrup on 2011-01-28 16:02:00 UTC Reply

and may force be with you... always
Greetings! by The 9th Blue Mage on 2011-01-28 13:37:00 UTC Reply

Have some robes!

Besides, if you are really thinking about writing ppc missions, then just be careful out there- you might never know what you'll encounter out there in this verse.

Robes! Thank you! by Jacer on 2011-01-28 19:53:00 UTC Reply

Warning noted. :D

Hey, welcome... by Sonne on 2011-01-28 13:24:00 UTC Reply

...new fellow with a really long introduction!

I don't think anyone will kill you unless you speak your mind in a harshly way; after all we're a group of people (people tend to never think exactly the same about a same topic)from different parts of the world, but anyway we can share opinions without killing each other.
So, ok of moral speech. Here you have a bobble head Lewis which works better if you put it in front of a window.

Ooh! Bobble head! by Jacer on 2011-01-28 19:39:00 UTC Reply

*pokes bobble head* Thank you!

Welcome by Antigone68104 on 2011-01-28 12:19:00 UTC Reply

Hi Jacer! Have some fudge!

FUDGE. TASTY. Thank you! (nm) by Jacer on 2011-01-28 19:50:00 UTC Reply

Have a Bengal Tiger! by WikiMaster on 2011-01-28 11:22:00 UTC Reply

Don't feed it Sues or Stus.

O_O by Jacer on 2011-01-28 19:49:00 UTC Reply

Oh my. I wonder if it likes bacon...

Welcome, here's a tall ship. by Khajidu on 2011-01-28 10:52:00 UTC Reply

Fair winds!

Now you can throw BBQ parties!

My word! A ship! by Jacer on 2011-01-28 19:34:00 UTC Reply

Thank you! *wanders off to ponder the connection between ships and BBQs*

My Agents are BBQ adepts. by Khajidu on 2011-01-29 10:24:00 UTC Reply

They throw a LOT of parties. You sail on one, you get a party.

Hello! by Silikat on 2011-01-28 07:30:00 UTC Reply

Yay, you referenced AVPM! And, out if curiosity, what is Bible fanfiction like? I've often wondered, but been too afraid to look.
Anyway, have a funny hat, a pet cat and a squeaky rubber rat.

Re: Hello! by Jacer on 2011-01-28 19:26:00 UTC Reply

But of course! AVPM and AVPS are made of awesome! (and Red Vines. That goes without saying.)

Technically, Bible fic should be based on events in the Bible. Duh. Stories of background characters, expansions, the like, done with respect for the Bible.

However, from my experience, a lamentable chunk of the Bible archive is parody/mockery. Another chunk is fics that the authors obviously take seriously, but are either unfinished or aren't really fanfic (being just about Christianity in general). And then there are the good ones, which are much harder to find. If you want to troll through it, I would suggest setting the filter to "complete".

Whee! Hat, cat, rat. What shall I feed you, kitty? Do you like bacon?
Bible fanfiction? by Sonne on 2011-01-28 13:25:00 UTC Reply

Is it like Holy Bible fanfiction? Please tell me it isn't.

That's what I thought. by Silikat on 2011-01-28 16:04:00 UTC Reply

After all, there is a section for Bible fanfic on ff.net. As in, the Holy Bible.
That's the reason I haven't been brave enough to look, for fear of Jesus/Judas slash or something.

Troper Tales page for Rule 34 is gone... by Tawaki on 2011-01-29 19:47:00 UTC Reply

...but I think it did speak of Jesus/Judas slash. And the Narnia section of the Pit has Aslan/Jadis fics. DX

AVE MARГЌA PURГЌSIMA! by Sonne on 2011-02-01 02:27:00 UTC Reply

How could they...? *faints of disgust on the keyboard* cnvkuz guivbf

If that's supposed to be Latin... by Jacer on 2011-02-02 03:19:00 UTC Reply

...then it should be "purissima".

Nya nya. :D

Spanish in fact by Sonne on 2011-02-02 05:13:00 UTC Reply

Holy Mary so pure, despite not existing an accurate translation. Anyway, nevermind: Spanish and Latin are father and son.

No, they're son and father. *giggle* (nm) by Jacer on 2011-02-02 05:37:00 UTC Reply

... by Silikat on 2011-01-30 08:52:00 UTC Reply

And now I must head off to church in that knowledge. Thank you, Pit. o_O

Re: That's what I thought. by Jacer on 2011-01-28 19:33:00 UTC Reply

*sigh* It is.

I keep an eye on it because occasionally a gem will pop up.

We have a moratorium on PPCing Biblefic. by JulyFlame on 2011-01-30 19:41:00 UTC Reply

Be it through missions, MSTs, or sporkings that are directly related to the PPC.

Don't worry. by Jacer on 2011-01-31 05:46:00 UTC Reply

I have no intention of doing Bible fic. It's just too...I don't know what.

Je ne sais quoi is the word you're looking for... by L'homme_Arbre on 2011-01-31 21:10:00 UTC Reply

Unless you wish to avoid sounding pretentiously French. In which case, you should leave now and never come back.

Sincerely,
A (not) Pretentious (sorta) French (probably) Person

Why thank you. However... by Jacer on 2011-01-31 21:36:00 UTC Reply

...you can't get rid of me that easily. *evil grin*

Good to have you a-Board! by doctorlit on 2011-01-28 05:22:00 UTC Reply

Welcome, new friend! Have a stodgy old narrator with a British accent. He's a joy to listen to, even when he's just describing the things around him. Enjoy!

Re: Good to have you a-Board! by Jacer on 2011-01-28 07:51:00 UTC Reply

Aww, you gave me Paul Scofield? How sweet.

Well, not really Paul. After all, he died a few years ago. But since I adore the Focus on the Family Radio Theatre productions of the Chronicles, that's where my mind went first.

"And I shall name him Paul, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Paul. Yay! Good Paul!"

I could transform him into a PPC agent...*thwaps persistent plotmini* But the idea, it intrigues me. He and Lophy could be techies together...*wanders off planning*

Oops. I almost forgot. Thank you!

Re: Um...hi. by Data Junkie on 2011-01-28 04:55:00 UTC Reply

Morbid curiosity forces me to ask what your problem is with slash. I can understand thinking badslash is wrong, because it is, but all slash? Even if it's not canon, there are some surprisingly good slash stories out there that stay within the realm of both possibility and plausibility.

Re: Um...hi. by Jacer on 2011-01-28 07:38:00 UTC Reply

Er. Please don't kill me. My real-world beliefs carry over into my fanfic beliefs. And because I have a moral objection to homosexual relations in the real world, I have the same objection in the fanfic world.

That said, I fully acknowledge the existence of good slash. There are definitely people who can pull it off. But I have yet to stumble on any in the Pit's K-->T Narnia archive, my main fandom residence. And of course most of the slash on there is written by fangirls who think the actors look "hot" together. Not exactly the best sampling.

I hope that was helpful.

A polite request by Nikolaos on 2011-02-07 13:53:00 UTC Reply

I take serious offense at you saying you object to homosexual relationships. There is no need for you to share your opinions on that subject at all especially not in such a blatantly insulting way. Please keep your beliefs to yourself in future.

THAT was insulting. by Jacer on 2011-02-07 14:34:00 UTC Reply

If someone asks me a question in good faith, I intend to answer it in good faith. It is true, and I was not insulting. If you take offense I'm sorry, but you're imagining it.

And no, I will not keep my beliefs to myself if someone asks me about them.

Re: THAT was insulting. by Nikolaos on 2011-02-07 18:19:00 UTC Reply

This is the internet, it's guaranteed there's an LGBT minority on this site so yes you saying you disagree with homosexual relationships is very insulting. It's the equivalent of me criticising religion outside a church, at best highly inappropriate.

Hmm... by Jacer on 2011-02-07 21:23:00 UTC Reply

No one else has said that. Asked me why I object yes, but tell me I'm insulting and to shut up? NO. And they were quite polite about it and we agreed to disagree.

Funny how you're the only one to accuse me.

No killing here by Data Junkie on 2011-01-29 01:42:00 UTC Reply

No worries. I figured it was something like that. I'm cool with you believing whatever you like so long as you're not shoving it down my throat. I don't agree with you, but I'm not going to burn you at the stake for not liking slash.

Welcome by Miah on 2011-01-28 04:43:00 UTC Reply

Hello! Have a seventeen foot long, multicolored, wool, knit scarf (curly wig not included), and a bag of jelly babies.

Please use them IRresponsibly!

Now a Disclaimer: You do not have to read these things (except the Board Constitution--which you already read). You do not have to write to be a part of the PPC. Some active and respected PPCer's have never been to the wiki, and quite a few very active and respected PPCer's have not and never plan to write missions. That said, many people have found these things to be useful and/or to answer a lot of the questions that often come up.

* The Original PPC Series, which we assume you've already read.
* The List of Killed Badfic, which will direct you to a large number of non-Original Series PPC Missions.

The Board:
* The Board Constitution
* The FAQ: For the Board

The Wiki:
* We have our very own PPC Wiki
* The very-important-to-read-before-requesting-Permission Permission article
* Our Guide To The PPC
* The Mission Writing Guide
* The Slash-Sporking Guide
* The FAQ: For Newbies
When you are ready to edit the wiki, make sure to read Neshomeh's excellent editing tutorial

And finally, but very usefully,
* The List of Everything PPC

Re: Welcome by Jacer on 2011-01-28 06:25:00 UTC Reply

Mmm....*wraps herself up in scarf and snuggles*....warm. And CANDY! SUGAR! Thank you!

And glorious, wonderful links. Killed badfic, here I come...at least the many I haven't read yet.

Oh, hi! by Sylibane on 2011-01-28 03:49:00 UTC Reply

Greetings, newbie! Have some Red Vines!

Thanks! Red vines... by Jacer on 2011-01-28 04:16:00 UTC Reply

...what the he*l CAN'T they do?

(write my essay, that's what)

Hiya! by Something Blue on 2011-01-28 02:25:00 UTC Reply

Nice to meet you. Have a cheese cracker.

FOOD!!! *nom nom nom* by Jacer on 2011-01-28 02:42:00 UTC Reply

Thank you! *is the stereotypical poor college student*

Oooh, hi! by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2011-01-28 02:04:00 UTC Reply

It's been too long since I greeted a newbie, Welcome, Jacer!

Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object of much shininess. It's nice to meet you.

...Also, you like AVPM? Totally awesome! :D Hardly anyone I know likes it much.

Re: Oooh, hi! by Jacer on 2011-01-28 02:18:00 UTC Reply

Ooh, pebbles. Must fashion slingshot for Sues...perhaps practice on cardboard standee of Enoby D.D.R Way?

SHINY. SHINY. MUCH SHININESS. THAG YOU VERY BUCH.

How can anyone not...never mind. "What the devil is going on here?...whoa, deja vu."

Not to mention Pigfarts. And "You're such a spare!" And "I came home!" And all the other immortal lines. And Darren's hair. Which is marvelously floofy. *ends fangirlness*

Is it unusual for someone to respond to everything?

^_^ by Cassie Cameron-Young on 2011-01-28 10:57:00 UTC Reply

"WHAT THE DEVIL IS GOING ON HEEEEERE?!"

I love AVPM Snape so very much. Especially in the sequel. So much aaaangst. Though Lucius Malfoy is very good there too.

And no, it's not unusual to respond to everything. I considered it for your post, but it was getting rather late, so I decided against it.

You are having scarf. by L'homme_Arbre on 2011-01-28 01:54:00 UTC Reply

It is being hand-knitted with zig-zag stripes of alternating colors, none of which have absolutely any bearing on eachother whatsoever. The colors are all neon, and predominantly blue. It is roughly three feet too long for you. No matter how tall you are or will grow, it is and will still be three feet to long for you.

If you are refusing this gift, I am paying as many people as I can afford to be hunting you down and doing horrible things to your pets. If you do not have pets, I will buy and send you pets and pay people to do horrible things to them. THIS IS HOW WE ARE DOING THINGS IN PPC. IN SOVIET INTERNETS, LOLCAT STICK CAPTION UP YOU...

Wait, what? Oh, I'm sorry, I think I may have just had an episode. That...happens here. So yeah...

Welcome to the PPC, a totally chill group of totally non-tyrannical non-communist dudes and lady-dudes. In fact, apart from previously afformentioned gift-giving, I'm fairly sure we don't have any economy whatsoever. Or any government, for that matter, unless you count the Oldbies, and they're not really much for tyranny so far as I've seen. I mean, honestly, Russians? What Russians? Ain't nobody here but us French-Americans. Weeell, I'm French-American, anyway. I really have to also say 'and us other Americans', too. And us Brits and Aussies. And, all us other Europeans, Asians, Africans, South Americans, and Mexicans. and every other group I forgot to mention because I'm really lazy. Oh, yeah, and all those 'Canadians', too.

(NOTE: I don't believe in Canada, for reasons to be explained at a later, entirely hypothetical date. Hopefully, said hypothetical date is none too soon.)

The point being. The point being what? Oh, I remember. The point being, no Russians. To my knowledge. Unless, of course, Sergio Turbo...Well, it sounds a bit Russian, sort of, a little...Umm...

(NOTE X2: To Sergio Turbo and all other hypothetical, plausible Russians - If you are reading any of this, PLEASE DISREGARD ANYTHING I HAVE EVER SAID, EVER. Thank you.)

The point being...The point being...Oh, yes. The point being, don't even bother cutting down your posts. Don't even bother. Because here at the PPC, we will outramble, outrant, and outruminate you into the ground. You cannot outlast us, and WE WILL DEFEAT YOU. Bon nuit, et viva le Francais!

PS. You might want to look up the definiton of slash. Just sayin', you just really should know what you're arguing for or against. Most of the other stuff we all agree with far as I know, but yah might recieve some hatin' over that lil' tidbit of news. Just saying. Peace, yo.

Re: You are having scarf. by Jacer on 2011-01-28 03:10:00 UTC Reply

Ooh, neon blue zig-zaggy scarf. A splash of color in HQ, it will be. Thank you.

As far as I know, "slash" means m/m or f/f romance. If I'm wrong, please tell me.

If it's canon, I'll accept it as such, even if I don't like it. But if it's not canon, especially if it's been canonically and explicitly Jossed...like Wincest, for example...then I'm less open.

Weeell, that's not strictly correct. by L'homme_Arbre on 2011-01-28 13:09:00 UTC Reply

For one thing, there's no such thing as 'canon slash'. Slash is a type of fanfic, a noncanonical, generally explicit, romance between two canon characters. It's called slash because it's generally tagged with a note that says 'Character A/Character B' to indicate who is being slashed. Slash generally but not exclusively refers to a m/m pairing. Femslash is f/f, and het (not hetslash, just het) is the traditional m/f. Please note that explicit 'romance' between a canon and an OC is not any sort of slash; it has to be between two canon characters for it to count. There are other subtleties, but I am too lazy to list them all.

However, if the part you object to is simply the whole m/m or f/f pairing in the first place, this explanation has done absolutely nothing to change your mind. But that's okay, because the point of this is to explain slash in greater detail, not change your opinion on anything. Others can, and will do that for me...

P.S. I am sensing from some of your previous responses to various people that you're thinking of putting agents into the DMS. That's all well and good, but have you considered all your options? Specifically, I'm thinking of the DBS. You could be great, you know...It's all here in your head...heh heh heh... ^___^

Erm, actually... by Neshomeh on 2011-01-28 17:34:00 UTC Reply

To quote the first line of our article on the subject, "Slash refers to romance and/or sex between two characters of the same gender."

Whether canonical same-gender pairings are slash is debatable in the same way as the question of whether canon characters can be Sues, I guess, but how is "male canon/male OC" not slash? I'm pretty sure it counts, at least the way we use the term around here.

And, regarding the last part of your post, I refer to Trojie's Slash-Sporking Guide:
If you don't like slash, I'm sorry, but this is not the department for you. My advice, although of course you don't have to take it, would be to not even go for Floaters. Be a freelance Assassin or something. But if you're going to be constantly distracted in a mission by the simple fact that you don't agree with who's sleeping with who, then you probably won't get the best and the most fun out of your sporking. And it should be fun. Don't you agree?

In a nutshell: people who don't like slash shouldn't be in the DBS, because they won't have fun.

Just so we're clear. {= )

~Neshomeh

I'm getting my info from TV Tropes... by L'homme_Arbre on 2011-01-28 18:24:00 UTC Reply

...but I'll bow to you as the higher authority on this. And the DMS thing as well. To be perfectly honest, I was really just looking for an opportunity to use that line...Ah, well. I'll stop goofing around now so the newbies don't get confused.

Welcome, and first poke! *pokes* by Neshomeh on 2011-01-28 00:56:00 UTC Reply

Also, since you've had the ~~mis~~fortune to remind me that we used to give out bumper stickers around here, here you go! *sticks you with a sticker that says "Love me, love my beta."*

I'm not the Official Bumper Sticker Giver or the Deputy Bumper Sticker Giver, by the way. Those people faded away ages ago. I'm just slightly less ancient than they are, and too stubborn to leave, that's all. ^^;

I'd like to take a moment and be happy that there's someone else in the world who's heard of the BBC (Wonderworks, wasn't it?) Narnia movies. Sometimes I think my brother and I are the only ones. ^^

Enjoy the deluge of presents you shall shortly receive!

~Neshomeh

Re: Welcome, and first poke! *pokes* by Jacer on 2011-01-28 02:09:00 UTC Reply

Hey! That tickles! OOH! A STICKER!

Be happy! You are not alone! But if you have a copy of them, HANG ON TO IT! I hear the master was lost, and so the only extant copies are the DVDs.

Ah, BBC Narnia. *happy sigh* They just have this innocent authenticity about them that mimics the books so closely.

And all I ever see other people say about them is "OMG the effects suk!" Or "OMG the acting sux!" Or "OMG WT* Lucy is older than Peter!"

To which I respond: "It was 1989. They used the best tech they could. And it's called 'willing suspension of disbelief,' folks."

And, "No, they just act and speak way, way much more like canon, bookverse, preteen, 1940 schoolchildren than the Disney kids do."

And, "You know what? I don't care if Sophie looks older than Richard. Peter's perfect."

Me, I'd rather have horrible effects with a dead-on canon storyline, than great effects with a horrible non-canon thing they dare to call a "plot". *cough*DAWN TREADER*cough*

Why yes, I am bitter about DT. How ever did you figure it out? *sarcasm*

/long rant-y post with too many !'s

Dude, our copies are VHS tapes. by Neshomeh on 2011-01-28 05:00:00 UTC Reply

And they've been in a basement or garage for lots of years now, so I have no idea if they still work. I hope so, though.

I haven't seen the new Dawn Treader yet, so I can't speak to that. (Did they REALLY make the mist of the Island Where Dreams Come True into some kind of Big Bad? O.o) I DID really like the new LWW, but was not overwhelmingly impressed by Prince Caspian. There are times when I can't even remember if I've seen it or not, so there you go. The old one just left a much greater impression on me.

And yeah, Peter in the Wonderworks version is completely awesome. It's too bad he only got to be in two of them.

I'm worried about The Silver Chair. I think it's my favorite apart from LWW of the old movies, and I just don't know how on earth it could be possible to best Tom Baker as Puddleglum. I mean, really. Tom frelling Baker. o.o

... Anyway, yeah! I'm not even as big a Narnia fan as I am of other things (LotR is where my true diehard geekery appears; the movies make me want to strangle things because they COULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT if PJ hadn't been all STUPID and CHANGED things), but some things, like story over effects, bear speaking out. In the case of BBC Narnia, the key is to treat it like a stage play. Do that, and you'll find it is made of win, I think.

For your listening pleasure.

~Neshomeh

OH! OH! OH! by Jacer on 2011-01-30 08:10:00 UTC Reply

I finally clicked the link and listened for the first 30 seconds going, "Pretty, although I don't really recognize it."

And then the theme started playing.

My head literally flopped down onto my arm and I went into a happy limp relaxed stupor for the rest of the track.

It's like a sedative. Read missions, read missions, yawn, read missions, click linkFRENCHHORNSOLONARNIATHEME!!! *happy coma*

Such a better theme than the new one. I'll take the soft, sweet, innocently Narnian-sounding horn/flute/clarinet over the punchy, rhythmic, orchestral/choral obviously modern movie background music, thanks all the same.

Uh oh, my mind's complaining at me.

"Wha? Whazzat? You wan me t' work on th' MST, brain? Go 'way. 'm in m' happy plaze..." *swats ineffectually* "Go 'WAY. French horn...real Narnia theme...no Walden fo' me, thanks..."

Glad you like. ^. ^ by Neshomeh on 2011-01-30 20:13:00 UTC Reply

I hope the MISSIONS aren't acting as sedatives, though. That would be awful. o.o

And yeah, I forgot about that intro bit. It confused me the first time, too. ^_^; So nice, though.

~Neshomeh

Oops. That came out wrong. by Jacer on 2011-01-31 05:51:00 UTC Reply

Missions as sedatives? HA. As if. Perish the thought. And I was tired, hence the yawn.

SO NICE. I repeated it a lot while I finished things up before bed, and every time the theme started the tension went out of my shoulders. It was great.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Yeah, Tadkeeta would have hated the new film. by Tawaki on 2011-01-29 21:44:00 UTC Reply

Imagine having part of your own family history twisted around like that, and the places shifted around.

I still expect TSC to fit canon. Then again, I'm a Cubs fan...

Now, if they cast Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, Christopher Eccleston, or David Tennant as Puddleglum I will laugh so hard; if they cast Geoffrey Beevers, Eric Roberts, Derek Jacobi, or John Simm as him I will not be able to stop laughing.
Re: Dude, our copies are VHS tapes. by Jacer on 2011-01-28 07:11:00 UTC Reply

You haven't seen Dawn Treader?! *borrows PPC expression*

FOR THE LOVE OF GLOD, DON'T.

Or if you do, pretend it's a badfic. It deserves the title "Legendary Badcanon of Plotholes".

Did they make the mist a Big Bad? *SPOILER*

Yes. Yes they did. Without any reasonable explanation.

The Motley Band is going to spork the LIVING FREAKING HECK out of it once they get their hands on a copy.

PUDDLEGLUM. IS. AWESOME.

At the rate they're going, I won't even want to SEE Silver Chair if they film it. And if they get to Last Battle (as I said to someone else), they'll probably have figured out a way to make the Calormenes white. You know, to avoid the non-existent racism.

As for LOTR...well, I really want to read the books again, but college is eating my time. I guess I don't have a huge beef with the movies--HEAR ME OUT!--simply because I feel that they get Tolkien's story across fairly well. I know PJ cut out a lot and changed things (even I was slightly annoyed that he cut out Glorfindel), and that many books fans were/are unhappy. But at least I can feel Middle Earth in the movies.

The new Narnia movies just DON'T get Lewis' story across. LWW was the best, but there were things that really upset me. Susan the Logical, anyone? Peter the Jerk? Jadis the Blonde? The non-existent Fox and river/wolf confrontation? The Pevensies receiving their titles at the coronation, along with that jaw about north/south/east/west? The Narnians knowing Aslan was dead? Modernization of dialogue? WRONG!!!

*deep breaths*

Prince Caspian was much worse. Hello, mutilated characters, ages, and storyline. Uh, Miraz? You've been king since Caspian was a little boy. Glozelle? You're evil. Night raid? YOU DON'T FLARKING EXIST. Peter? Caspian? You are not arrogant rival twerps. Susan? Caspian? You are both supposed to be 13. Stop flirting. Caspian and Telmarines? YOU DON'T HAVE A FLARKING ACCENT, FOR ASLAN'S SAKE!!! So many things wrong in that movie...*shudder*

And Dawn Treader. As Glumpuddle on Youtube says, "It's almost an ANTI-Narnia movie. It's the opposite."

DT is where I draw the line. Any fics I spork that take place in pure DT movieverse can't be done under the PPC banner, because I point-blank REFUSE to consider this piece of trash as canon.

*end rant*

Do they, though? by Neshomeh on 2011-01-28 17:57:00 UTC Reply

Do the LotR movies get the story across, that is. I mean, maybe, in a very broad sense, but so much of the intricacy and subtlety went completely out the window, along with Frodo's character. The Frodo in the books is wise and kind and competent, if frightened and slowly being dragged down by the Ring. The Frodo in the movies almost ruined everything by lying to Faramir and sending Sam home. He turns into this unsympathetic little jerk! *tears hair* I THINK they were trying to play up the power of the Ring, but it just makes him look bad. I mean, the Quest only succeeds because of Frodo's inner strength and his strong friendship that literally holds him up when he can't stand anymore. In the movies, it only succeeds because Sam is a better person than he is. What's the message there?

*deeeep breath...*

Hokay. So. I have to say the reason the movies really grind my gears is that the casting, the music, the scenery, the costumes... EVERYTHING is right except the characters. It looks like Middle-earth, sounds like it, feels like it... but the people aren't themselves, and there's no good reason for it, and that kills me. Idiot!Treebeard, anyone? Flaming!Denethor? Angsty!Aragorn? Jackass!Elrond? MPD!Gollum? Comic Relief!Gimli? Captain Obvious!Legolas? Elves at Helm's Deep? I mean, if you're going to have Elves symbolically show up to help the Men after all, why not do it at the Battle at the Pelennor Fields, or before the Black Gate? That would be so much more powerful than the pointless slaughter we got--which, by the way, would have left Lothlorien underdefended against the force attacking it at the time. So the movies have kissed Lothlorien goodbye and left it to burn, and gained nothing by the change. Thanks a lot, movies.

...

'Kay, I'm gonna stop talking about this. ^_^;

I probably WILL see DT, because my morbid curiosity demands it. I'll try to keep my expectations low. Thanks for the warning. {= )

~Neshomeh

Welcome and hello! by Aster Corbett on 2011-01-28 00:44:00 UTC Reply

Have a hat knit from only the softest pelts of Cute Animal Friends! Sure to keep you warm in the coldest, darkest, soul-crunchingest badness of badfic!

Don't worry. We don't turn people away because they're twihards... but she may understand when she gets here and sees the wiki. >_>

Re: Welcome and hello! by Jacer on 2011-01-28 01:50:00 UTC Reply

Mmm, fuzzy...

Thank you!

Welcome and greetings! by caddy-shack on 2011-01-28 00:33:00 UTC Reply

Here, have an Adamantium combat knife, guaranteed to gut most sues and cut almost all types of cake!

Now, onto your questions.

Well, all the gifts you receive, you can assume they are given to your agents should you get permission and use them however you will.

2). It is good you are a SPaG (SPelling and Grammar) nut, those are welcomed here.

10) Absolutely no problem with having a Twihard among us, I myself am a recovering Twilight add- I mean fan. We don't have many agents who will do Twilight, so it would be helpful.

As for the number of agents, you can have as many as you want (within reason), though only having two or three to a team. you can have other teams if you wish, though too many can be too cumbersome.

As for them being sues, have you put them through one of the litmus tests? those can help you fix many characters, it did for mine.

And don't feel afraid to make long posts, especially if it is introducing yourself.

Re: Welcome and greetings! by Jacer on 2011-01-28 01:46:00 UTC Reply

OOH. KNIFE. SHINY.

Must kill Sues...cannot kill Sues...grr...must create Sue dummy...

I think the PPC computer game is affecting me...I say weapons are shiny...I laughed far too hard when an avatar maker presented me with the option to wear a flamethrower...I speak in one word capslock sentences...and I'm starting to abuse ellipses...

*thwap* Snap out of it! Where was I? Oh yes.

Thank you for the lovely knife! Do not worry, it shall be put to good use. *evil cackle*