Subject: The good and the bad (slightly spoilery)
Author:
Posted on: 2011-01-04 22:23:00 UTC

You have some fantastic dialogue in this piece, especially when it comes to the inter-partner banter. One thing I really like is how you're able to distinguish Derik and Earwig merely from the words they say and the structure of their sentences. That's very cool.

HOWEVER (spoilers begin here):

I had some major issues with Earwig becoming afflicted with SILAS due to being exposed to Urple. It breaks the flow of the story to such an extent that I almost stopped reading. Plus, after that first occurence, it's barely mentioned again. It just seems like randomness for the sake of an easy joke!

Also, Earwig's antics got a little tiresome for me towards the end of the story. Once he started to sing 'A Pirate's Life For Me,' I actually facepalmed.

I don't mean to sound so down on the mission. I did like it, but it wasn't without its problems.

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