Subject: Well, if it isn't for the Little Dalek Who Can!
Author:
Posted on: 2013-05-17 00:11:00 UTC
I mean, when I say that, I do mean the Little Dalek Who Can't Win a Game. I mean, aren't you lot supposed to be 'superior' at games?
Oh wait, a human beat Omicron, champion of Cluedo, at his own game.
Suck on that with your little plunger, wheelie boy!
-Dis
So here, have the introduction to the Sixth Disentangler and the Fifth Agent, which is, er, the regeneration scene that brings us the Sixth Disentangler.
Intro: Regenerations.
They'll be showing up in a mission or two as well, don't worry.
Looking forward to reading what you've got in store for these two! :)
Yup. It's happening: Lily and I are teaming up. Which reminds me, I owe her a scene...
~DF
On the one hand, it's sort of nice having people from home popping up at all hours. On the other hand... well, given the sort of people the Time Lords were by the end, you'll forgive me for not trusting any of you in the slightest.
Except the Doctor. He's (as always) the exception.
~M
My lump of a partner here fancied you while you still looked like Romana II; we're not exactly brand-new around here.
-Dis
But while your physical presence may not be brand-new, you certainly are. And so am I, for that matter. The fact that my original incarnation was naive doesn't mean I should follow in, er, my own footsteps.
~M
New New New Morgan and New New New New New New Disentangler?
Speaking of which, you've only been around here about a year less than me and the Agent - how come you're only on Morgan Number Three and I'm on Disentangler Number Six? Your sense of self-preservation's astounding.
-Dis
Thus far, I've only gotten killed during dire emergencies, whereas you? Everyone and his evil henchman has murdered you. I mean, good grief! Even the Doctor - burning stars, even the Master managed to keep most of his bodies at least a couple of years. What are you (two) like?
~M
That's all nice and easy for you to say when the worst thing that can happen in your missions are overpowered Mary Sues - we've got to deal with Sues and Canon characters in continua where they shouldn't be! You try convincing angry Canon characters to trust you enough to step through that portal back home.
I'm not even sure why we're arguing this point; I've actually managed to keep this body since 2008. And it's not my fault the Agent has this silly notion of making sure we try to regenerate together if necessary; he does get a bit stupidly attached to me sometimes. It's kinda sweet, actually.
-Dis
... shutting down a space-time rift in the middle of a populous city, or figuring out which UK politician is an evil alien spy, or- well, you get the point. It's not all sunshine and... well, I can't even say 'roses', can I, with the Yellow Roses being so universally irritating?
Why are we arguing? Because who else am I going to argue with? They're all either in awe at the whole Time Lord thing (never understood that - our only powers are high metabolic rates and the ability to get better after dying, we're not that impressive) or fed up of listening to me. Maybe I shouldn't go out drinking so often...
~M
Maybe a cup of tea would be better in the future. The Agent's attached to Suebuprofen tea tablets; it makes him easier to deal with sometimes, you know.
-Dis
Can't stand the stuff. Funny - I was quite fond of it last time, but nowadays it's as if I've learnt to pick up some tastes I hadn't noticed before. Of course, last time I was a bit of a ditz, all told. Even worse than Me One.
... all right, so all told, you're not that much of a concern (though don't think I won't keep an eye on you). But it ain't just you, is it?
~M
And that's where I come in, I'm afraid. I do apologize for the late response, but it took rather a while for your original message to come through--something about timelines, I believe? The rest of the report was unintelligible. I think perhaps my TARDIS needs to spend some time in DoSAT for repairs; she hasn't exactly had the easiest time of things.
I do understand your viewpoint, believe me. What we had become by the end...well, I was still there by the middle of the end, and it wasn't very fun, to say the least. I won't tell you that I believe myself to be any different; I believe that I have the potential to become just like them, as do we all--yourself included, Agent Morgan, if you'll forgive me for saying so. That's actually what made me leave the Academy, and eventually Gallifrey itself, in the first place.
I don't have any insurance against becoming like the rest of us did, and that terrifies me more than the Nightmare Child did, to be honest. What I do have, though, is a monitoring system in my TARDIS, and a partner who knows what to look out for. And unless you want to stand by with a gun as well, then I don't think there's much more to be done.
If it helps, I'm only about 120 years old, and left the Academy before I absorbed too much propaganda. And, well, there are other Time Lords in HQ who haven't followed the rest of the Time Lords into insanity; perhaps there's hope for us.
-Reader
But he and I went to the Academy roughly around the time the Doctor was there, so we're actually older than you. I think it might be the younger ones you'd want to redirect your paranoia to.
And speaking of which, I think I picked up on the scanner once that there was another Gallifrey-born Time Lord in HQ aside from you, me, the Agent, and the Fisherman. The whole temporal-spatial anomaly-plus-TARDIS thing gave it away.
-Dis
Thank you very much for your support of my case, Disentangler.
Also, I believe I may be the other Gallifrey-born Time Lord you mention, in which case...hello? I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to meet yet; you (and the rest of the Time Lords in HQ) have a tendency to be out on missions whenever I have time to seek you out. It's rather frustrating.
-Reader
Who knows what they were teaching you lot at the Academy?
Ah, the temporal anomaly! Hello there.
-Dis
That's why I dropped out, actually.
Hello! I see we're actually in the same department. Er. Had any good--er, bad--missions lately?
-Reader
--
((awkward Reader is awkward ~DF))
Never alone does a king sigh, but with a general groan. Rassilon dragged Gallifrey down with him, I'm afraid.
Oh, there was the one with Suvian Hermione... not a pretty one, I think. What about you? My scanners say you've come a long way, for some reason.
-Dis
It's nice to know someone approves.
He did. He really did. I believe we would have fallen even without the Time War; someone would have had to take us out, if only to save the rest of the universes. It's rather a sobering thought.
I...have, I suppose. Er. My, um, my TARDIS could do with some repairs, like I said. At least we didn't slip through dimensions; that could have been annoying to fix.
I've had several missions recently, although the most memorable would have to be the one with, ugh, a Sue who thought Time Ladies could get pregnant and character replaced the TARDIS. It was...interesting to sort out, to say the least, and that was before she brought in aliens from a completely different continuum and made the Doctor think he'd killed them already. As if we needed more monsters to fight in the Time War!
Suvian Hermione? That sounds rather dreadful, although what did it cross over with?
-Reader
He worked on the Bio-Dome project on Mars, and I think he might have worked with Torchwood, too? Not sure.
Oh, Doctor Who. She thought Time Lords mated like werewolves and that Time Lord genes could be activated in humans.
That is, he does know what he's doing with a TARDIS, right? It's just, I can't exactly get another one, and I rather like this one...we escaped Gallifrey together, you see, and I've only just got her back.
...humans have no Time Lord genes to be activated. Unless they possess the fob watch from a Chameleon Arch, but that's still not Time Lord genes. And...werewolves? So, what, once every month we gather together and howl at the moon? What do we even transform into? And how have I missed this transformation? I don't believe I'm ever undergone it...
Sues. Tch. I hope you gave her a fitting end?
-Reader
He fixed the Doctor's, didn't he?
Oh, we just killed her with Avada Kedavra. Nothing too special, actually. And we left her and Doctor Stu in a star, actually, so they'd burn forever. That's about it.
-Dis
I wasn't aware of that. Very well, then, I'll see about transporting the TARDIS to DoSAT as soon as I can.
Hm, the burning forever sounds appropriate. Wait, she character replaced the Doctor?
I still can't understand the werewolf bit. It just makes no sense. How are Time Lords in any way similar to werewolves?
-Reader
I mean, we had the joke that we transformed into Daleks at the full moon, but yeah. Not sure how she got that impression, actually.
Yeah, and Dumbledore and Ron and Snape, too.
-Dis
No thank you. I'd rather not.
I've actually heard that there are Daleks working in the PPC. Is that true? If it is, how are we safe? And...are there Cybermen here as well? Or any Neverweres?
Sues. No sense of respect.
-Reader
NONSENSE! LY-CAN-THRO-PY IS A CURSE. THERE IS NO CURSE IN BECOMING A DA-LEK! WHY DO YOU THINK THE DA-LEK-I-FI-CA-TION OF OTHERS IS A PRE-FERRED TACTIC AMONG MY RACE? DALEKS ARE THE SU-PREME LIFE FORM, AND ALL SHOULD ASPIRE TO BE EVEN HALF OUR STATURE!
IN REFERENCE TO YOUR SECOND STATEMENT: AS IF THE GLORIOUS LEADERS WOULD ALLOW A DAMAGED BEING SUCH AS THE NEVERWERE TO SERVE IN ANOMALY EX-TER-MIN-A-TION A-LONG-SIDE THE GLORIOUS GLORY OF THE DA-LEK RACE! IT WOULD CAUSE ME TO LAUGH IF I POSSESSED THAT CAPACITY!
HA
HA
HA
I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN SYNTHESIZING LAUGH-TER! ANOTHER VIC-TOR-Y FOR THE DA-LEKS!
POSTSCRIPT: I UNDERSTAND THAT SOME OF YOUR "BOARD" IS SHORT ON CAPITAL LETTERS. FOOLISH INFERIOR HUMANS! IT TAKES A TRUE STRATEGIC MIND SUCH AS THE MIND OF MYSELF, A TRUE STRATEGIST OF THE DA-LEKS, TO STOCK UP ON CAPITAL LETTERS BEFOREHAND! THEREFORE, I RE-FUSE TO SHARE THEM! TOUGH LUCK, HU-MANS!
I mean, when I say that, I do mean the Little Dalek Who Can't Win a Game. I mean, aren't you lot supposed to be 'superior' at games?
Oh wait, a human beat Omicron, champion of Cluedo, at his own game.
Suck on that with your little plunger, wheelie boy!
-Dis
STILL IN-TER-JEC-TING INTO THE CON-VER-SA-TIONS OF OTHERS, I SEE. DO YOU HAVE A-NY-THING PRODUCTIVE TO SAY, OR ARE YOU SIMPLY GOING TO EXCHANGE MORE JU-VEN-ILE INSULTS TO MY SPECIES BASED ON THE SUB-OPTIMAL SKILLS OF A SINGLE MEMBER?
IF I WERE TO GIVE A SIM-I-LAR ASSESSMENT OF THE GALL-I-FRAY-AN RACE, I WOULD BE HERE ALL DAY RECOUNTING YOUR INFERIORITIES. LUCKILY FOR YOU, DALEKS ARE ALSO SUPREME IN THE FIELD OF EMOTIONAL RESTRAINT, SAVE THE OBVIOUS EXCEPTIONS OF SCORN AND ANGER, WHICH DRIVE OUR PURSUIT OF PER-FEC-TION. HOW-EV-ER, IF I HAD THE CAPACITY TO FEEL E-MO-TION, I WOULD BE EMBARRASSED ON YOUR BE-HALF. OH, O-MI-CRON LOST AT CLUEDO, YOU SAY, SO THE DALEKS ARE RUINED, YOU SAY. GET SOME NEW MA-TER-I-AL!
I bet the entire Cluedo circuit would be kicked out of Rudi's before that happens. After all, no one wants to play a game when one of the players is just a walking book of spoilers. Or, in your case, a rolling one.
Scorn and anger driving your pursuit of so-called perfection? If you want perfection, you could stop sounding like a colicky infant human. Besides, you lot get defeated by us Time Lords so often that you've become a joke! So much for perfection - even the recently-exploded Cybermen were more of an example of perfection than you spinning buckets of death.
-Dis
OH, THE PAR-TI-CI-PANT IN THIS CON-VER-SA-TION WHO REFRAINS FROM EXCHANGING REFERENCES TO THE INFERIOR SPAWNING HABITS OF PRIMATES, ALSO KNOWN AS ME, FEARN, IS THE IMMATURE ONE NOW? WHICH FEEBLE-MINDED CREATURE CHANGED THE DE-FIN-I-TION OF MA-TUR-I-TY WHILE I WAS OUT?
IN EXTENSION: FUN-NY YOU BRING UP RAS-SIL-ON AND GETTING HARSHLY DE-FEA-TED IN THE SAME POST, SINCE ONE LED SO SMOOTHLY IN-TO THE O-THER. YOU NEVER SEE THE DA-LEKS CHANGE THEIR GOALS OR I-DEALS, AND WHENEVER WE FALL, WE COME BACK WITH NEW WEA-PONS! YOUR PLANET DIES ONE TIME AND IT WIPES OUT YOUR CULTURE. AND YOU CALL YOURSELVES SU-PER-I-OR TO THE DA-LEKS!
HA
HA
HA
We don't try to force others to become like us. Mostly because most of them can't. You lot, you're all so fixated on the idea that everyone must conform to being locked up inside cold metal shells that you don't even pause to understand that... well, gosh, who's going to want that? Which being that has spent most of their lives being touched and related to and loved and everything is going to willingly confine their mind to a giant metal pepper-shaker for the rest of their known existence?
So you don't convert people into Daleks, because you know they don't want to be like that, and it'd taint your pool anyway. So you go kill them all, no matter how peaceable, no matter how naive and trusting. Nobody likes you, really. But I suppose you'd rather have it that way?
Shame, then, that the Canon decided that it'd be a great idea for you lot to forget about the Doctor, because they're just bloody embarrassed by how much of a comic relief you lot have become in recent years. Oh, I'm sure you were terrifying when the humans on World One were still reeling from fascism. But now? Have you seen the way you're treated there? You've been turned into plush toys!
-Dis
IN MY STRATEGIC AND OBJECTIVE OPINION, THE DEFAMATION OF THE DA-LEK NAME SHOULD HAVE RE-SUL-TED IN IM-ME-DI-ATE EX-TERM-I-NA-TION OF THE DE-FAM-ERS! BUT NOOO, THE CREATURE BRED AND DEV-E-LOPED TO MAKE EX-CELL-ENT DE-CI-SIONS HAS NO VOTE IN THE "WHETHER TO INVADE WORLD ONE AND PURGE THE HU-MAN RACE FOR SLAND-DER" VOTE.
WHEN HAVE THE DA-LEKS EVER BEEN OPPOSED TO THE CON-VER-SION OF OTHER SPECIESS TO THE DA-LEK RACE? IT IS NOT AS THOUGH IT HAS NOT BEEN DONE BE-FORE. WITH-OUT THAT, THE DA-LEK EM-PER-ORS WOULD NOT HAVE HAD HALF THEIR POWER! IT'S NOT A-BOUT WHETHER YOU WERE FIRST A MASS OF CELLS OR SPAWNED FROM THE PRO-GEN-I-TOR DE-VI-CES THEM-SELVES, IT IS THE DED-I-CA-TION TO THE SUPREMACY OF DALEK-KIND THAT MATTERS. AS LONG AS ONE KNOWS THE GLORY AND POWER OF THE DA-LEKS, IT IS QUITE AC-CEP-TA-BLE FOR THEM TO BECOME DA-LEKS THEMSELVES!
OF COURSE, THIS COULD BE MY HU-MAN FAC-TOR CON-TAM-IN-A-TION SPEAKING. I KNOW THE WHITE DA-LEKS TEND TO BE VERY OPPOSED TO INFERIOR-TO-DALEK CON-VER-SION, BUT I SAY THAT IF IT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR DAV-ROS AND THE EM-PER-ORS, IT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE NEW PAR-A-DIGM.
AND WHAT IS THIS A-BOUT FOR-GETT-ING THE DOC-TOR? THE DA-LEK'S OLDEST FOE IS SIMPLY FOR-GOTT-EN ABOUT AS THOUGH HE WAS A MIS-PLACED HU-MAN SOCK? RI-DI-CU-LOUS! WAS THIS IN THE TIE-IN COMICS? I HAVE TOLD YOU TIME AND A-GAIN, THE TIE-IN COMICS ARE NON-CANON RUBBISH!
Apparently some variation of his current companion (the one who, I may add, beat Omicron) hacked into your little hive mind and purged all records of the Doctor from it.
Isn't that charming? We saw all of you shouting "DOC-TOR WHO" on telly!
-Dis
THERE'S THE PATH-WEB, BUT THAT'S FOR CO-OR-DI-NA-TION OF A-TTACKS, NOT MEM-O-RY STOR-AGE. OTHER THAN THAT, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT "DA-LEK HIVE MIND" YOU RE-FER TO. I STILL THINK YOU ARE THIN-KING OF A TIE-IN COM-IC.
HOWEVER, IF YOUR STATE-MENT IS NOT ANOTHER INSTANCE OF YOU BEING IRR-ITA-TING-LY FA-CE-TIOUS, I SHALL JOIN O-MI-CRON IN HIS LITTLE "CLA-RA OS-WALD SHOULD RE-CIEVE DA-LEK JUS-TICE" CLUB. HE COULD USE ANOTHER MEMBER, AND DA-LEK JUS-TICE IS THE BEST JUS-TICE THERE IS. EVERYONE IS GUIL-TY, EVEN WHEN THEY'VE BEEN PROVEN INN-O-CENT! IT'S MORE EFFICIENT THAT WAY, YOU CAN'T DENY THAT.
And Clara deleted the memory in the episode "Asylum of the Daleks". So no, it wasn't a tie-in comic, bucket-brain.
Everyone is guilty? Including yourselves, may I ask?
-Dis
WHETHER IT'S SOME-THING BIG, LIKE TREA-SON OR SLAN-DER, OR MERELY FAILING TO STRICTLY ADHERE TO THE DA-LEK GEN-E-TIC CODE, EVERYONE HAS DONE SOME-THING THAT OP-PO-SES DA-LEK ORDER AT SOME POINT. THUS, JUS-TICE CAN FALL ON ANY OF US. OF COURSE, IT HAS A MUCH MORE LIKE-LY CHANCE TO FALL ON TRAI-TORS OR SLAN-DER-ERS THAN THE MU-TANTS OR THE REST OF US, BE-CAUSE THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY OF US AV-AIL-A-BLE FOR JUST-ICE WORK AT A TIME. IT'S A PRO-CESS, YOU SEE.
BUT... THAT MAKES NO SENSE! EVEN IF THE PATH-WEB WAS AFF-EC-TED AD-VERSE-LY, WHICH WOULD BE IM-POSS-I-BLE FOR A HU-MAN TO DO, IT IS A CO-OR-DIN-A-TING SYS-TEM! HOW WOULD IT AFF-ECT THE EN-TIRE DA-LEK RACE? PER-HAPS ONE SHIP WOULD LOSE ALL MEM-O-RY, BUT THEN DA-LEK JUS-TICE WOULD DE-SCEND ON THEM FOR BEING DE-FEC-TIVE AND WE WOULD GO ON! WHAT! WHY! HOW!
IF I WAS AU-THOR-IZED, I WOULD EX-TER-MI-NATE THE CURRENT PRO-DUC-TION STAFF FOR ALL-OW-ING THIS SLAN-DER OF THE DA-LEK RACE! AS OF NOW, I WILL HAVE TO TAKE OUT MY RAGE IN THE AU-THOR-IZED FA-SHION: BY BLAS-TING AT MA-RY SUES UN-TIL THEY STOP MO-VING. IT WORKS, I SUP-POSE.
WOULD YOU WISH TO JOIN ME?
I presume this is a begrudging truce, Agent Fearn.
-Dis
((Oh hello there! Dawn and I were wondering who was playing Fearn. Heh. ~Lily))
((Stupid presets.
Either way, this looks like a good place to end the conversation, with Fearn angry and shooting Mary Sues, and the Disentangler maybe or maybe not joining him.
I also liked writing Fearn. I've never written for someone that obliviously dedicated to something before. It was fun.))
I liked your Fearn. Considering there's not much on him other than him sucking at board games and almost being the Moon Moon of the PPC Daleks, this was an interesting twist of character. :'D
I like this a lot, you really managed to convey the emotions of the characters. I haven't actually read anything about them before, but it was clear just from reading this piece that they've got a long history together.
I look forward to reading more about the Disentangler and the Agent.
Oh, and I think that 'mean ol’ witch-with-a-capital-B' has just become my favourite new insult.
and prior to my adopting them I added them into the Blackout interlude, but only as minor characters.
But I've got plans for these two, so I think you can look forward to seeing more of them pretty soon!
That insult's taken from my pre-med teacher. He also likes to use "dipthong" as an insult.
Teach me your secret! :)
This is wonderful, by the way. Very emotional, funny in places, and a lovely fill-in-the-gaps piece. Also, a great introduction.
One question: Deca? Who is Deca?
Well done!
~DF
I see it as Dis and the Agent looking up to these ten young Time Lords and trying to keep track of their adventures, a schoolish variation on them keeping tabs on the canon later.
I like it :)
Also, it's good foreshadowing :)
~DF
I like it. Sad that the Disentangler had to go without the Agent, but I like it. Interesting situation you've put em in!
Printworthy: Fantastic, the internet has infected Fluttershy's 'yay.'
Marvin: Le use of le meme le be le stupid.
Printworthy: Oh no! Marvin, you have fallen to the meme as well!
Marvin: Relax, it was just a joke. See? I'm fine.
Printworthy: Oh, thank Celestia for that.
Marvin: Anyway Le-ter Le-sers.
Printworthy (as hover-booth flies away): Marvin, no! Resist the meme, Marvin! Resist!
((Yes Outhra, this is going to become a thing with me. Thanks for the idea.))
((Oh, and before I forget...
))
It's fun.
Though my brother uses it when he is being purposely annoying, so perhaps I have some negativity towards it... Still, those reactions were Marvin and Printworthy's, not mine.
Ahh, so you dislike "le"? I myself cannot see a character described as "smirking" without instantly disliking them...a bad 'Suefic has ruined that word for me forever. V.V