gah II: the quickening by
Nakkel
on 2010-04-15 16:20:00 UTC
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So we get to our first actual instance of combat (le gasp) as traditional mary sue rapist dark link does.. well, absoluitely nothing. They attack him, apparently all he really wants to be is under the sea in an octopus' garden in the shade.
Haha, the healer gives Jenna-sue a drug which gets rid of morning sickness. We had that too, in the '60s!. IT WAS CALLED THALIDOMIDE.
But wait! Jenna develops a new plot device to save her from dark link! Now she can control the elements. Derp dee derp dee derpity doo. Upon returning to the castle zelda is all like OMG U AR SILVERLITE and apparently silverlites are the ancients of the world. DERP D... forget it.
Throughout the entire thing the only curse they use is "by the goddess!" then all of a sudden jenna says HOLY SHIT! The sex scenes are quite hilarious. They scream each other's names, REALLY LOUD if the several exclamation marks are anything to go by, and they scream over and over again like they're in the end of paranormal activity.
So another completely uninteresting plot occurs or something and they go back home, where they are attacked by a deepcrow(that's just how I see it in my head). its "soul propose" is to steal link's children! We can only assume that this is an agent that went MIA and is out of contact attempting to repair the fandom against the will of the god-mode sue.
And then it ends. and then there is almost 30 things the author has to explain, not a good sign when writing a fanfic. For the world to be repaired, several regions of land would have to be destroyes, species made extinct, flowers burned until not a trace remained. And it is not necessary to call a pegasus with a horn a "unipeg". Not that I think they even exist in canon.
Well, I need to return to my normal state of mind. This usually involves hallucinogens and H.P. Lovecraft novels.