Subject: Well....
Author:
Posted on: 2010-01-19 05:58:00 UTC

For starters, your agents look pretty good - not too ambitious, they err on the flat side, but not by much, and your actual written missions should flesh them out. That you've given them very similar (angry) personalities could be difficult, as you don't want your missions to turn into shouting matches, but that's a matter of how you handle them, which I cannot predict.

On the other hand, I'm a little wary of the fact that you're going after a scripted fic, as narrative forms are much easier to PPC, and there's no need to make your first mission too hard. Also, is it impossible to find the original text, rather than a sporked version? If so, I would strongly recommend finding another badfic to work on; it's not like there's a shortage.

As for your writing sample, I can say little about the content or characterisation given that I don't know the canon, but you have numerous errors and stylistic issues that worry me. One appears as early as the second sentence - a missing word ("they began to fight who owned the light." - it should be "began to fight over", unless you mean they began to fight whoever owned it, but that doesn't seem to be the case). You haven't got too many typos, but those that are there ("yalter top, a whitye") are strikingly bad, and should have been picked up by a spell-checker. You're lacking commas in many necessary places and don't appear to have a good grasp on the use of semicolons. Also, the extensive clothing descriptions bother me - they remind me of a Suefic at times - but if that's a characterisitc of the canon, then of course it's not relevent.

My biggest problem with your request is that we haven't seen very much of you on the Board. In the six weeks you've been here, you've greeted newer newbies and made a few comments, most of which were very short. Your "re: Haiti" post particularly troubles me, given that two of your three sentences are just raw condemnations - "bitchy", to use the phrase. Anger issues or not, this is really not the sort of thing we want to see from other members, especially if it's all we see.

So I'm sorry, but not this time. Permission refused. Please try again in another month, and until then, I encourage you to join in some more in-depth discussions around here - start some yourself, maybe, and ask questions. Also, please take to heart the issues I've raised above, and don't just copy-paste this Permission request into your new post in February; I'd like to see some indication that you've thought about it.

And last, don't take this as a blow to your self-esteem. You're not the first person to be refused Permission, nor the last, and there's no shame in it.

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