Don't worry; it would never happen

Subject: Don't worry; it would never happen
Author: Sedri
Posted on: 2010-01-11 04:31:00 UTC

Falling into a plothole is usually just the result of the badfic author forgetting about the character, or shoving them out of the way when a replacement comes. Plotholes act more like sinkholes in that way - one entrance, no exists, like a little bubble of reality. The portals agents use are generated using plotholes, but aren't plotholes in themslves. And, even if plotholes were to act like wormholes, there's no reason any of them would lead to the PPC - after all, no badfic author writes us into their stories. Besides, we take canons into HQ all the time for medical purposes, the Doctor included.

So don't worry, your armageddeon is so far from likely as to be more or less impossible. :)

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I just had a terrible thought. by Mr. Eldritch on 2010-01-11 03:36:00 UTC Reply

What would happen if a canon character fell through a plothole? I think we'd neuralyze them, but what if it was somebody savvy enough to avoid it? Somebody from the MIB canon (where the Neuralyzer originated), would be nigh- to completely-impossible to wipe (After all, the glasses make them immune to it). And the Doctor would probably not fall for the "look at the pretty lights" gambit. In fact, he'd probably be smart enough to avoid it altogether. And Rincewind would just run away from anybody. Let's (for the sake of argument) assume it was the Doctor. Assuming he did get away (which he probably would) what if he found a DORKS? He'd definitely get it to work with a little jiggery-pokery and a nudge with the sonic screwdriver, and...

Well, let's just say you'd have the makings of the next Crisis. If if was one of the earlier Doctors, things would be really bad. Remember the Five Doctors? If you pick one Doctor out of the timestream, all the successive ones will follow. The whole Who canon would be without it's keystone, and the whole universe would begin to collapse-- spurting itself out into Headquarters like air rushing out of a hole in a balloon. And the Who canon has 42 years of shows, TV-movies, radio plays, and EU novels behind it, plus 42 years of Fanfiction, clinging remora-like to it's very plot. Especially crossover fanfiction. As Who went down, the tiny links of crossovers would begin to pull at every series it's crossed with with the full weight of those 42 years. Star Trek might be the first to go down with it-- it's canon is still weakened from the retcons of the most recent movie, and their long-running and compatible sci-fi natures mean that there's huge masses of crossovers between them. And if Trek goes down... well, it's even bigger than Who, with all its novelizations, spin-offs, and enourmous fanbase. In fact, the combined weight of both Trek and Who might be enough to bring down Harry Potter, weakened as it is by the continuing pileup of fanfic! And as you know, Potter is linked to everything. Once it goes, it would be like a chain of dominos falling, or a nuclear chain reaction in reverse. The whole Multiverse could collapse, draining every Word World and funneling it straight into Headquarters!

And remember Real-World fanfiction, where fictional characters wind up in World One (or vice-versa?) Those strings would be tugged as well, and even World One would be sucked through the plothole and squirted out into Headquarters.

That would be bad. Please tell me there are safeguards to stop this?

Re: I just had a terrible thought. by 3solid on 2010-01-11 17:03:00 UTC Reply

Knowing Timelord biology (or at least the fact that it's messed up) I'm not entirely sure of the Neuralyzer would even work on him. Then again, he'd probably understand the PPC and everything else, so he'd either pretend to not remember or just come to an agreement not to mention it again.

Heck, I can imagine that.
"Hey, Doctor, look at the-"
"Yes, the pretty lights. I know."
The Doctor under Suefluence by IndeMaat on 2010-01-11 08:11:00 UTC Reply

is pretty damn stupid. He'd fall for the neuralyzer trick. If he had been written in character he'd probably figure it out, but if he were written in character there probably wouldn't be any agents in the story in the first place.
Hmmm. by Vixenmage on 2010-01-11 07:48:00 UTC Reply

Speaking as a fairly new Doctor Who fan, I'd have to say the Doctor would be the best possible canon character to fall through, and also the worst, and it would be awesome to see this written.

I'm torn-- part of me thinks it would make perfect sense for the Doctor to look away from the pretty lights and bluff the Agents into thinking he'd been neuralysed-- but then he'd probably not bother going back. HQ does qualify as a parallel universe, right? As canons are all spots in the multiverse? So being in HQ-- or another canon-- would render the TARDIS powerless, and being a ~~man~~ Time Lord of brilliance, he'd probably just go on about his way. A love of getting into trouble probably would be trumped by a desire to not destroy the multiverse. *shrug*

Then again, part of me thinks he'd just go on his merry way, and that largely because it would be so awesome to see the Doctor rampant in HQ. But yeah.

(Also, I believe canon characters have made it into HQ before. They're generally extracted and neuralysed, eventually.)
I wouldn't panic by The Trojanhorse on 2010-01-11 06:36:00 UTC Reply

For a start, the PPC are very very careful not to leave tech in any canon.

For another thing, when PPC tech breaks, it tends to break very spectacularly and often either melt or explode. This is for comedy. We like comedy.

And lastly, well, we *really* do like comedy, and doomsday scenarios aren't very comic. Let's not get too serious, eh? :D
Well... by Anonymous on 2010-01-11 06:10:00 UTC Reply

There are characters in various fandoms that have knowledge of or are able to see PPC Agents. Elrond from LoTR, Jack Harkness from Torchwood, and Death from Discworld spring to mind. Death at the very least appears to be immune to neralyzation (although he is a good sport about it and allows it to happen anyway) and there haven't been any problems associated with this so far.
Don't worry; it would never happen by Sedri on 2010-01-11 04:31:00 UTC Reply

Falling into a plothole is usually just the result of the badfic author forgetting about the character, or shoving them out of the way when a replacement comes. Plotholes act more like sinkholes in that way - one entrance, no exists, like a little bubble of reality. The portals agents use are generated using plotholes, but aren't plotholes in themslves. And, even if plotholes were to act like wormholes, there's no reason any of them would lead to the PPC - after all, no badfic author writes us into their stories. Besides, we take canons into HQ all the time for medical purposes, the Doctor included.

So don't worry, your armageddeon is so far from likely as to be more or less impossible. :)

Plotholes by IndeMaat on 2010-01-11 08:15:00 UTC Reply

I've used plotholes both of the sink type and the tunnel type, i.e. the latter had an entrance and an exit. That exit, however, lead to somewhere else in the fic.

I can't imagine a Sue created plothole could lead to the PPC. That would require the Sue having prior knowledge of the PPC.

Bells. by Meir Brin on 2010-01-11 03:53:00 UTC Reply

We put bells around all their necks. /kidding
holy... by Bronwyn on 2010-01-11 03:52:00 UTC Reply

You're right! One misplaced DORKS and the entire continuum could disintigrate. Oh man this could be bad. Even though there is the Very Important Rule of not leaving anything behind, this could be catastrophic if say a newbie left one behind on accident.

It gets worse. by Mr. Eldritch on 2010-01-11 04:12:00 UTC Reply

Actually, what I proposed wouldn't even require leaving anything behind. Plotholes occur naturally in every world, and somebody would be bound to wander into one sooner or later. And there will always be DORKS or other technology lying around Headquarters (After all, that's where they're supposed to be). If they're familiar with it enough to avoid neuralyzation, like being from the MIB continuum; or savvy/lucky enough to avoid it (like the Doctor) then that's when it all falls down. The Doctor is actually a worst-case scenario- he'd both be able to avoid neuralyzation AND he'd draw every other instance of himself into HQ too AND he's a main character in his continuum AND he's from a huge continuum. Plus, doesn't HQ have K-9's patrolling the halls? But that wouldn't impede the Doctor: they're both from his continuum and he's very familiar with them. Also, since all PPCers were issued TARDISii during the Macrovirus Followed Shortly By Sues Invasion, his'd blend right in. Thing is, though, he's also a very likely case as well as a cataclysmic one: Given the fact that he's attracted to Negative Space Wedgies and his instinct for trouble, as well as being the center of a lot of fanfic (which would both generate plotholes as well as providing the occasional plothole-traversing PPC agent) and natural, canon-induced plotholes, he's guaranteed to find one eventually-- and when that happens, if we don't catch him soon enough, boom goes the dynamite.

A few thoughts... by Techno-Dann on 2010-01-11 05:12:00 UTC Reply

Tech really isn't left "lying around" much - when it's not in use, it tends to be in unmarked boxes in small rooms overfilled with unmarked (or cryptically marked) boxes. Even stuff that isn't moved much is usually noticed when it goes missing, as people are in and out of the room fairly regularly for other things. (Please note that that isn't just HQ - I do sound for a university, and it's remarkable how quickly we notice when things get moved.)

I don't think that the Doctor would be a worst-case scenario - he strikes me as the sort to quickly grasp what the PPC does and why it's a good idea to keep it running. There would probably be a big, season-ending-level adventure surrounding the whole thing, but the Doctor tends to be good at un-breaking things. Especially when he's working with himself.

If you really want to bork the multiverse, try letting Marvel-verse loose... it's got a continuity so forked it makes Star Trek look linear, and more ridiculously overpowered villains than you could shake a stick at.

(and just a minor note - we've done the whole crisis and sue invasion thing a couple times, they aren't as fun as they look.)

gods, not marvelverse by anamia on 2010-01-11 05:30:00 UTC Reply

Oh Gods. That would be terrifying. Just trying to make sense of canon Marvel-verse makes my head ache. Collapsed!Marvel-verse boggles the mind.

I don't think anyone wants it to happen. And yeah, I can't imagine it would be fun. On the other hand, I can see writing the Dr. Who season finale based around it. Or even an entire season with clues dropped throughout the episodes ending with the catastrophe.

--anamia

eep by Bronwyn on 2010-01-11 04:17:00 UTC Reply

Well what do you propose? I mean if continuums start falling in, then the fanfic will follow. And where there is fanfic there are sues. This could be potential mega-crisis.

There would be continuums all over and sues and chaos. And with the ppc as strapped as it is...

the doctor might understand by anamia on 2010-01-11 04:41:00 UTC Reply

If you think about it, what he does is very similar to what PPC does: go into worlds and save them from disaster. He's intelligent enough to understand the magnitude of such a crisis, and I don't see him having problems coping with the idea of either fanfiction or other continuua, especially the new series Doctor, who's dealt with alternate universes and whatnot. So probably he'd allow himself to be neuralyzed, thus averting the crisis before it begins. I agree, he wouldn't fall for the 'look at the pretty light' gimmick, but he would see the logic in it once it was explained.

Alternatively, if things to collapse, the many doctors could be a plus for PPC. Again, considering his character and personality, he'd be one of the people who understands the problem, and what with there being 11 different doctors now, they'd be good allies. He can also manipulate the TARDIS better than any of the agents (having had 900+ years of practice tends to do that, I imagine), and she might be able to open portals back to various continuua. K-9 could kill Sues, or at least keep them back. Robots aren't as susceptible to the wiles of Sues as humans, since they have no emotions other than those which have been programmed into them, so it would take them longer to work around him, especially if, as you say, there are many of them working together.

So I agree, it would be a crisis on a massive scale, but I think the Doctor would be an ally, not an enemy. He's too clever not to see that it's in the best interest of everything he loves to work alongside PPC and bring things back to normal. Well, normal for PPC...

--anamia

fair enough by Bronwyn on 2010-01-11 04:52:00 UTC Reply

But think about it. 60+ years of sues. From three fanons. Decending upon the ppc. It would be a massacre. An outright massacre.

true by anamia on 2010-01-11 04:56:00 UTC Reply

I'm not saying it wouldn't be a disaster. Gods only know that it would be appalling. And, if the Dr. Who fanverse is involved, then we'll get Time Lord Sues and Stues, which are scary. Very scary. Arguably even scarier than Elf Sues, since they'll have TARDISs of their own.

I wonder if PPC coudl just evacuate, possibly to New Caledonia, and let them starve. It'd be hell to clean up later, but it might solve the problem. People might even get to keep going on missions then, thus not adding to the problem.

--anamiaa

even without plotholes by Bronwyn on 2010-01-11 05:00:00 UTC Reply

One misplaced CAD or DORKS would all it takes. One misplaced thing to start the chaos. Just one little thing.

Which would be a serious problem... by Vixenmage on 2010-01-11 19:08:00 UTC Reply

if this was a reality, and not a fiction-verse started by Jay and Acacia and upheld by a bunch of writers (that's us!) today.

The thing is, in order for there to be a PPC-wide disaster, even one started by an immense accident, someone has to write it. In order for one misplaced CAD or DORKS to happen, someone has to 1) write their agents into doing so, 2) write the events that follow, and 3) write the entire disaster, and resolution, start to finish.

Immense multiverse-wide canonical breakdowns happen because we make them happen. Not simply because they could, and, in a reality like this, probably would.

That said, someday it would be an awesome idea.
we'd better be careful, then by anamia on 2010-01-11 05:23:00 UTC Reply

No wonder it's completely and utterly Against The Rules to leave anything behind. The people writing the PPC history article should be asked to please include this all important information. Or in a newbie initiation article.

--anamia

I'm already doing so. by Sedri on 2010-01-11 08:57:00 UTC Reply

There'll be a draft up here for comments and alterations as soon as it's ready.

Let me add, though, that another major part of that article is going to be about Emergencies/Crises and how we've had quite enough of them already. A while ago - before any of you three joined, I believe - we had an influx of "OOO wouldn't this make a great emergency?" ideas and our Permission Givers had to put their collective foot down on the notion. Please remember, the PPC is about comedy and our neverending, possibly futile struggle to deal with badfic - not epic-scale dramas. Besides, the Narrative Laws of Comedy and the Ironic Over-Power have too much fun tormenting us with tedium ;p

cool by anamia on 2010-01-11 09:08:00 UTC Reply

And no worries; I, at least, wasn't thinking about actually writing it. PPC is much more fun when people are doing proper missions, and if it takes more time off for its own emergencies then think of the poor fandoms! It's an interesting intellectual challenge, though.

--anamia