Subject: Hello, small mammal.
Author:
Posted on: 2009-09-09 01:29:00 UTC
Welcome to the PPC. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here.
I'm Mad Maudlin Hart, and I'll be your waitress today- may I recommend the Internets in AWESOMESAUCE with a side of 2k monies?
Hi! My name's Lucy, or any derivation you can get off of moonchild, or if you're feeling random, the color yes (which actually has the best story). I stumbled across this community 'cause... well, 'cause IndeMaat happened across one of my stories, reviewed it, and then I (sneakily, yes, I know) followed it to her profile and then was sucked into her Torchwood PPC files... Anyway, I've been looking around, as I a while ago wanted to get into something like this, but I really like that other people have thought of it! Down with the Sues! Anyway, I just said anyway twice in a row, didn't I? Well, I'd better stop that, I can think of synonyms for it, and I have access to multiple thesauruses, and... I should stop rambling, shouldn't I?
Okay, I'll tell you a bit more about me, how 'bout? I started out, fandom wise, in Harry Potter, then progressed to Pirates of the Caribbean, and only last summer progressed even further to Doctor Who/Torchwood, where I now reside (with my fanfiction, anyway). However, I'd love to get back into Harry Potter/Pirates, but I'm thinking my best way in at the moment is through PPC. On LotR -- as I'm sure you'll all ask -- I've only seen the movies. (*cringes in fear of attack*) I do, however, have a hardback copy of the trilogy on my shelf and was trying to work my way through it before I got distracted by... probably school. Umm... I have a cat, two geckos, and a fish. Also a little brother, some crazy friends, and tendency to spell things the British way even though I am 100% American. You could tell by my Philly accent, but accents don't exactly translate onto paper very well...
I believe that's it. That was a bit lengthy of an introduction, but I do have a tendency to ramble... Now, off to work on the characters I'm planning...
In recompense, have several Anti-Lustin Squirt Guns, Darts, Submachine Guns and Kunai, folowed up by a golden Sandworm.
Not that I really mind, anyway. :D
And yet, I think I still get First Poke.
*poke* >.>
Also, have a bumper sticker. *slaps on bumper sticker reading "My Agent PPC'd your Mary-Sue."*
So, yes. Welcome! I have just one question for you: what is up with people not capitalizing their usernames these days? Did they mysteriously cease to be proper nouns? Or has e. e. cummings suddenly come into vogue without my notice?
~Neshomeh, puzzled.
*squeals* Don't poke me! I had sugar today! I'm hyper! (Yes, I believe that is the First Poke.)
OOO, bumper sticker! I love it! I want one. I would go make a real one, if I knew how to. And I had a car that I could drive to put it on...
Well, as you can see, I just went and capitalized it this time. I didn't out of habit; my email is all lowercase, and I'm used to that, so, I dunno...
Here, have a shapeshifting plushie. Guaranteed to keep away from Nightmare Fuel if you aren't into that.
A shapeshifting plushie? How do you hold on to it? Or... distinguish it from someone else's shapeshifting plushie?
At a safe distance, of course, and not in a particularly creepy manner. Bit like the Luggage, but less inherently lethal. It changes form mostly when you want it to.
And that seems much handier. Can it change into anything or are there limitations? Could it transform into a real live... something, or is that not allowed? (It would kinda defeat the point, wouldn't it...)
What if we want them to turn into the Luggage? Would they still be less lethal then?
The Luggage's lethality seems to be an immovable multiversal constant.
I've been put on people's favorites list before, but I don't think anyone has ever followed me this far. ;-)
Welcome, and I hope you enjoy yourself here.
Are you glad or not glad that I followed you? Or just sort of... indifferent? 'Cause I'm sure glad I found a group that's already gotten all of this together to fight Sues...
Oh, well. Welcome, person! Have a spare CAD. You'll need a lot of them; they tend to be highly suicidal.
Of what little I've seen of them, I really don't blame them. I mean, who WANTS their job??
Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and those pesky spambots! Use it for good and not much evil. ;-)
Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy the ride.
That sure is a multi-purpose egg whisk. And can't I just use it for a little bit of evil?
this stuff can be used for more than just blowing stuff up. it is a good fuel for a fire - just don't stomp on it. and welcome.
I'll just stash that in the empty bit of my brain that used to hold my sanity. It's really quite good for storing food, I've found.
Welcome to the PPC. Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *indicates bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* You shan't be needing it here.
I'm Mad Maudlin Hart, and I'll be your waitress today- may I recommend the Internets in AWESOMESAUCE with a side of 2k monies?
It's long gone! As I've said. Although, the Internets in AWESOMESAUCE does sound rather appetizing. Could I possibly get just a small portion?
What for you want a small portion? Always with you it's "small portion, small portion." You get large portion, you eat it all. Do you want to starve? No boy wants a girl so skinny, they want something to hold on to...
*removes babushka* All right, here you go.
Welcome to the Board. Here, have a cup of tea. I'd describe it for you, but then I'd have to make a terrible joke about women. It'll cure what ails you nonetheless.
Actually, I'd love some actual tea right now, I'm chilly and I'm wearing a long sleeve shirt and it's still summer for goodness' sake.
Have a free glow stick!
Hope you like it around here, I'm new as well and it's certainly fun!
Love them! Are they the kind that you can bend into bracelets or the kind that you just wave around?
Very useful yet remarkably unpopular ;)
I see Ansela's already given you The Links, so I can't beat her to it. Ah, well. Nice to meet you!
I don't exactly see why they'd be unpopular if they're useful. Isn't it usually the dead un-useful things that are crazy popular? *shrug* Well, thanks anyway!
You sound interesting. I won't eat you... yet.
I come bearing links. *drags out Big Bag O' Links and digs through it*
First off is the link to the Wiki, a veritable fount of information for a newbie to read through. Especially helpful for you if you want to write missions would be the page on Permission (note the capital P).
I would advise against reading any Legendary Badfic, unless you are of strong mind and stomach. Even the summaries have been known to give those of weaker constitution nightmares.
For your reading pleasure, not knowing what you have already managed to find, I have several links for you. The Original Series (not to be confused with Star Trek) is a good place to start, as the PPC did many aeons ago. What do you mean I'm exaggerating? The Department of Geographical Aberrations is another interesting place to visit, if you have the time and inclination. Also by hS is the Tangled Webs site, which contains backstory for the PPC as an organisation. If you would rather visit the Floaters, then July's site is the place you need to be. And last, but most definitely not least, Response Centre 45 is where Trojie and Pads' missions are archived.
Hope you enjoy your stay here. Please deposit your sanity into the container offered to you by another Boarder; you won't be needing it here.
I lost mine AEONS ago. Which is really saying something, as I'm not that old.
However, on the links, I have stumbled across quite a few of them. The Wiki I've looked at and I'm working my way through the Original Series and then I suppose I'll move on from there, your other links look good!
And I would just like to inform you, for future reference, I'm pretty sure I don't taste very good. Or, at least, I didn't when I was littler and I knew.
You don't taste good to you. I'm sure that you'd be quite... delicious, if I ever desired to eat your soul.
OW! Sorry, one of the characters in my head decided he was going to be a pain again. He's a bit sore about having been driven insane alongside his host, and he's taking it out on me.
Sanity? When did I ever have a need for such a useless thing?
I'll make note of that.
That's not very nice of him!! I don't think any of my characters mind about my insanity... Not that I've asked them in as many words, though.
I don't know...
Welcome to the board, miss! (My agent(s) are having the irresistible urge to call you MoChi... But maybe that's because they're craving icecream at the moment...)
Anyway, welcome to he board! Her's a Pidgin and a Kbifem! Pidgins (they look like Pigeons, except black, leathery, and covered in Silver Script, which is like Purple Prose, only it's the way that thirteen-year-old girls excuse bad spelling with "But it's so pretty!") are good for sorting out when Suethors throw random non-english into a fic, while Kbifems (Basically like a bowie knife with a highly scripted M cut out of the meat of the blade) are very good for killing Suethor Spelling. Beware, though! if either falls into the wrong hands, GREAT EVIL can befall you...
Anyway, yes, welcome to the board!
Those sound quite useful; I'm building up a rather nice arsenal for when the Sues -- and the Suethors -- decide to come after me. I will take very good care of them, I promise! And you can hold me to that promise! ... unless I get my hands on too much sugar, as might happen tomorrow...
The best thing to do if GREAT EVIL is ever after you, is to use bad spelling against it so that instead you have GREAT EVAL after you. I'm sure you'll be able to at least survive being evaluated.
Well, as the college that I'm currently attending uses Evaluations rather than letter or number grades, I could REALLY USE a GREAT EVAL after the Instructor of Great Evil tried to sabotage me last quarter because she didn't like my art style... *sigh*
Anyway, yes. The Kbifem can do that, too.
Here, have an amulet of ooze-riding which I've revamped into an anti-glitter shield.
It used to make it so that any ooze creature which tried to get at you would simply flow around you, making it so that you could stand in the middle of an ooze creature with no ill effect, now it'll do the same thing to glitter based attacks and effects!
Quite useful when fighting sues and/or the fae.
Thank you! I am now forever protected from the glitter! I feel so loved and welcomed, with all these gifts... And that is a quite ingenious invention, if I do say so myself. I utterly despise glitter actually. Real life, too. It gets EVERYWHERe.
Nice to meet you! Here, have a glow-in-the-dark spork *hands it over* Good for stabbing Sues (or eating icecream with). Did you say that you're a Philadelphian? In that case, I'll say another 'hello!' 'cause I've just moved there :D
A glow-in-the-dark spork?! WOW! Cool! And yup, from right outside the city, actually! How are you liking it?
It's nice! I like the centre city especially - there are lots of ornate and pretty buildings to admire. It is taking me a while to get used to the heat, though :D (not helped by the fact that it was winter back home).
I've lived here my entire life and I've never liked the heat. I blame that on genetics, though -- I have Wisconsin blood. Actually, this summer wasn't bad, there's been very little humidity. Humidity always kills me. But yeah, there's a ton of great-looking buildings downtown.
If only because it's hot as hell here. On average. Also humid. Blasted tropical climate.
I'm much more of a winter weather person. I couldn't live anywhere where they don't get snow. We get a grand total of maybe 6 inches a year when we're lucky, and that's nowhere near enough for me.
Hi! Take this mystical pocket lint.
Does it have any mystical properties or just the fact that it's mystical?
It has mystical properties. As to what those might be... well, it can take many years to unravel the mysteries of mystical pocket lint.
are they mystical years? Or mysterious years? Or... some other word starting with MY years?
Particularly mystical years.
Or am I not allowed to invent the word mysticocity?
BTW, will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or a Response Center?
That's a good question. Are they allowed to be based in a TARDIS if they're not always going into Doctor Who/Torchwood? 'Cause I'm highly tempted to stick around Harry Potter for a while, maybe just to get my bearings? I'd love to return to the fandom, but it's a bit... well, I've frankly run out of inspiration for writing anything there.
…after the Plague. Also, some Agents have TARDISes of their own (either from before they were recruited or taken from MAry Sues).
That sounds rather... ominous. Hmm, well, I suppose that's good to know. One of my characters is seeming like she'd be the one to steal a TARDIS from somewhere. The other one is simply... odd. She's... sane!
There's a page on the wiki. Essentially, the Leauge of Mary Sue factories arranged for two macrovirus infected sues and paul bunyon to wind up in headquarters at the same time. The viruses hit medical first, apparently overrunning the only areas in which a cure could be synthesised, and then things went about as poorly as might be expected. It would probably have been easy to resolve if the portals were working, but they had to be locked down due to the risk of the viruses escaping.
Pick your choice, jut don't take my Agents.
Well, I'm into several SF and fantasy fandoms (Star, fantasy books), and in some TV shows like House or Numb3rs. And RPF about U2.
My Agents (Whatever, South and Krisprolls) are androids whose personalities are based on my idea of what the personalities of three real-world Norwegian tall ships (respectively Statsraad Lehmkuhl, Sorlandet and Christian Radich) would be like had they been sentient.
I really like the idea, quite original. Well, at least what I've seen of them. And androids -- does that mean they're less likely to, I dunno, die on a mission or something? Is it more work than it's worth? It seems like it would be to me, unless they're amazingly crafted androids or something...
They're made with nanotechnology so as to look the most possible like humans, including inside. They have the same chances to get injured or sick, and to die. The only difference is their nervous system.
I meant sf fandoms, especially franchises whose name starts with Star*** (Wars, Trek, gate).
(Writing from a different computer.)
Welcome! Here's a battleaxe from the Raven Armory. It's useful against Sues.
*Presents*
Welcome to the PPC - may you kill many Sues with inordinately large weapons.
I feel a lot better now that I can protect myself!
So, what fandoms do you guys camp out in?
I mostly take care of the fandoms of Tamora Pierce-Tortall moslty-, Harry Potter, and Redwall. But I can work with the "Shrek", The Princess Diaries, Alex Rider, and LotR fandoms in a pinch, if necessary.
That's definitely quite a bit more than I'd be willing to take care of, I wouldn't really trust myself in anything I don't know really well... which at the moment is limited to three (unless you count Torchwood and Doctor Who separately) fandoms...
Never really felt like asking for Permission or writing any Agents. Probably need greatly improved writing skills for that.
Well, with my current agents anyway. More or less limited to the Final Fantasy and Metal Gear series. Still, I have a fair numbe rof fandoms I'd be able to work in, like Harry Potter, LOTR, the Warhammer universe, all that kind of stuff. Maybe if I get more agents at some point.