(Since I didn't have anything more creative to dump in the text box.)
Might I point out that #4 is now particularly hypocritical...
misshun Statement: {misshun impussible mewzik playz in teh bakground} Teh misshun uv dis Board iz ta encouraeg teh gudfic, discouraeg teh bad, shaer writin adn comput-arrr tipz, halp owt fellow riterz in needz, exchange opinionz, adn ta nattah awn endlessly abowt efrytin frum lawd uv teh Ringz ta yukky-apple pai. Mmm . . . pai . . .
{drool}
dis webpaeg will self-destruct in thurtee twothz.
{Hidez. Several hourz pass.}
nivvah mind, den . . .
{comz owtta hidin.}
BOOM!
--
Ta compleet awr misshun wifout massively pissin each-uddah of requirez sum rulez. sow . . .
{Clearz throat.}
heer ye, heer ye! (adn awl dat uddah medieval mumbo-jumbo dowz widah-pissin-territory crierz meaow. Foarsooth verily!) We, teh PPC-Boarderz, in ordah ta foarm a moar perfick Messaeg Board, doez ordain adn establish dis Constitushun foar teh well-bein adn sanity (or insanity) uv awl.
Teh PPC Board Constitushun (a.k.a. Da Rulez)
1. Thou shalt luvz thy neighbor az thyself. sow b niec! Treat everywun else awn teh board wif respect!
2. Respect uddah peeps’s opinionz, especially wehn eet comz ta controversial issuez, lieks religion, homosexuality adn slash, or wichcraft. Yoo don’t hafta agreez wif anyoen, uv cors, adn statin yur own opinion iz encourageded, but noes tellin uddah peeps dat deir opinion iz WRON. It’s kynd uv hird foar a opinion ta b wron, considerin dat eet’s hao dat certain individual seez a certain issue.
3. dis sort uv goez alawng wif Numbah 2 . . . noes Flamez Alloweded! (Teh daffynishun uv flame uzd heer iz "A verbal scratch/insult awn a individual.") It’s wun fin ta meaow "I don’t agreez wif yur opinion," ta a person, but entirely inappropriaet ta meaow, "Yoo’re such a flippin idiot foar finkin dat, yoo flippin moron!"
4. Thou shalt maketh yur postz legible. Spell correctly adn uz gud grahmar ta teh betterest uv yur ability. Mistakez will b foargiven, uv cors, but eet’ll b hird foar everywun ta understand yoo adn respond ta yur postz if yoo go, "OMG! I kant believ taht newst movie iz owt! eets sow gr8!"
5. Postz shoodz b keeped frum teh G TA PG-13 range. Keep eet clean peeps. If yoo haz ta meaow sumfin ovah teh PG-13 level (lieks if eet includez cursin or sumfin) giev a warnin at least.
6. Silliness adn insanity iz welcum heer — even encourageded. Feel free ta leef yur sanity at teh door. Most uv teh Regularz doez.
7. serious discusshun iz ALSO welcum heer. Odd, ne?
8. Feel free ta shamelessly plug storeez adn websitez ta yur hart’s content, if yoo finks dey’ll b uv interest teh peeps awn teh Board. We’re in dier needz uv gud fanfic adn entertainment. Also feel free ta post links ta badficz. memebah dat part uv awr misshun iz ta halp authorz improev. Most peeps awn dis board post constructiev criticism in a attempt ta halp teh authorz improev deir writin styel, sow pleez considah dis wehn yoo go review sumoen’s story. seez faar below foar daffynishun uv flamez adn foar moar detailz.
9. newbeez shoodz post at least once ta introduec demselvez (adn ta receiev a bumpah stickah frum teh Offishal Bumpah Stickah Givah or teh Deputy Bumpah Stickah Givah.) Aftah dat, lurkin iz fien, although lurkerz iz likely ta getz BADLY losed cuz we ramble lotz, sow we encouraeg yoo ta join in adn becom a regular yurself. Thar’s binded ta b sumoen heer hoo lieks teh same stufs yoo lieks (since we’re such a diverse group.) adn we lieks new peeps adn fresh meat — er, opinionz. Don’t worriez, teh Regularz’ barks iz far worse than deir bytez. (Although we doez bark lotz, I kan tell yoo.)
10. If yoo dun understand sumfin, dun b afraid ta aks. Srsly! We won't point, laf, adn go "Ha-ha!" wehn yoo don’t nows sumfin. We'll halp.
11. If yoo haz a problem wif a fellow PPC Boardah, pleez tri ta wurks eet owt in privaet emalez. Don’t turn teh Board into a free-foar-awl Flamefest.
12. If yoo kan’t respect udderz’ opinionz or fingz getz too heateded, pleez tri ta keep political/theological argumentz ta a minimum. hoepfuwwy, dat wined’t b a problem, though.
13. If a political/theological adn/or controversial subject staartz owt hokay, but windz up heateded, adn staartz goin owtta controls, everywun shoodz step bak adn calm down, adn possibly abandon teh discusshun if eet seemz dat eet kan’t b continud calmly adn civilly.
14. If sumoen sez sumfin dat seemz offensiev, but yoo’re nawt suer xackly whut dey meaned, aks dem furst, befoar jumpin down deir throatz. Srsly! Dey probably didn’t mean ta offend anyoen. (If dey DID mean ta insult peeps, go ahedz adn jump down deir throatz if yoo lieks.)
15. Thar iz noes ruel 15.
16. Randomness iz seldom a bad fin, az lawng az Da Rulez iz followeded. (Foar a example, seez Ruel 15.)
17. Mary Suez iz generally despiseded adn though most uv teh Regularz will (probably) treat yoo wif respect if yoo lieks dem, dis Board iz nawt teh betterest plaec foar yoo. Srsly!
18. If yoo hates lawd uv teh Ringz, dis Board iz definitely nawt teh plaec foar yoo. Srsly! Yoo’ll find prittee mutch everywun heer in disagreement wif yoo.
19. Trollerz will b ignored or mockeded foar entertainment.
20. memebah ta haz FUN.
21. "noes meddle in teh affairz uv assassinz! Dey iz heavily-armeded adn quik ta angah. adn nawt noticeably subtle."
We teh PPC Boarderz, in ordah ta maeks a LOTR-saef Union, must heerby follow awl teh rulez uv teh PPC Board Pledge uv Allegiance:
I doez heerby solemnly swaer:
Ta defend awl lawd uv teh Ringz fanz adn fanaticz; teh PPC, eets riterz, adn eets fanz; OFUM, eets ritah, adn eets fanz; adn uddah LOTR-relateded fanpeepz in needz or in desperashun, az lawng az I remain a actiev membah uv teh Board. I will halp fellow PPC ADN PPC-Boarderz thumb deir nosez at FF.Net wehn eet actz awl stoopid.
(stoopid FF.Net --)
I will respect mai fellow PPC-Boarderz, despiet whut werdy, obnoxiouz, or udderwyez idiotic shenaniganz dey may doez in deir tyme az memberz uv sayed Board. (Though if dey iz breakin rulez, or bein meaniez, I WILL endeavor ta set dem straight.)
I will follow Da Rulez ta teh betterest uv mai ability, unless by consensuz majority, sayed Ruel(s) iz/iz finded ta b "reelee, reelee stoopid."
I heerby devoet maiself in teh protecshun adn support uv teh lawd uv teh Ringz Plot Continuum, whether dat b by halpin riterz riet bettah storeez, readin adn recommendin gud storeez, writin gud storeez uv mai own, reportin adn reviewin bad storeez, tawkin abowt random Lotr-relateded stufs, or n e uddah wacky methodz. adn I pledge ta blah blah blah . . . blah blah bla blah . . . bla bla blah bla . . . bla blah bla blah bla bla blah . . . adn wif equality adn bumpah stickerz foar awl!
Heer endeth teh PPC Board Constitushun.
Him/her hoo duz nawt agreez wif such turmz noes kan b truly happy awn teh PPC Board. Him/her shoodz theerfoer renounce n e idea uv bekummin a PPC-Boardah cuz true PPC-Boarderz shall nivvah weyvr frum followin deez rulez. n e errant behavior kan adn will b dealed wif by teh Assassinz adn/or fellow Boarderz in a lovin but firm mannah.
adn if dat duzn’t wurks, dey'll maeks yur lief a livin heck! ^__^
*holds her poor, aching head* Oooooowwww.