None of you has given her bleepka to wash her brain of these "certain fics" which I don't care to imagine. Her, Rose, have a keg on me. *rolls keg toward you*

I like you.


Mine now.

*steals away!*

Have a coffeemaker.

Try them, they're delicious!

It's lovely to meet you. Everyone else seems to have jumped on the newbie-greeting bandwagon, so I thought I'd come and see what the fuss was about. :)

Nice ta meetcha. Here, have a bag of pebbles (excellent for throwing at Sues and annoying people) and a Random Shiny Object.

Have an Unusually Upgradeable Chainsword. It's unusually upgrade-friendly, even extending to a slot in which a handy flamethrower, missile launcher or easily portable maker of much dakka may be placed.

It's one of the goals of the PPC--to kill badfic.

Don't worry. We're all mad.

:)

Also, ignore the babbly about a Newbie Influx - it's not real. Most things here aren't. *cue creepy music* Actually, it's just a silliness brought about by the fact that newbies tend to arrive - for no explicable reason - in big groups at about the same time, and then none turn up for weeks on end. *shrug* Nothing personal, love; just something we notice and comment on, because we are Strange People.

BTW, will your Agents be based in a TARDIS or a Response Center?

have some c4. it might be useful. if all else fails, you can cook stuff with it. don't stomp on it though.

Welcome! Have a winged kitten, and beware senior boarders bearing giant glass jars.

Ah, LOTR, you'll fit in nicely here... heheh... plenty of work for you, too, once your month wait is over.

But let's not get into that. I gift you with a weighted companion cube (don't worry, it will never threaten to stab you) and a sock full of rocks. I'm sure they'll be useful.

Have an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and, miraculously, it whisks eggs! It's also quite handy when dealing with author wraiths and those pesky trolls. Use it for good and not much evil.

Welcome to the insanity! Enjoy your stay! ;-)

Seeing as nobody's done it yet... *drags out Big Bag O' Links*

First off is the link to the Wiki, a veritable fount of information for a newbie to read through. Especially helpful for you if you want to write missions would be the page on Permission (note the capital P).

I would advise against reading any Legendary Badfic, unless you are of strong mind and stomach. Even the summaries have been known to give those of weaker constitution nightmares.

For your reading pleasure, not knowing what you have already managed to find, I have several links for you. The Original Series (not to be confused with Star Trek) is a good place to start, as the PPC did many aeons ago. What do you mean I'm exaggerating? The Department of Geographical Aberrations is another interesting place to visit, if you have the time and inclination. Also by hS is the Tangled Webs site, which contains backstory for the PPC as an organisation. If you would rather visit the Floaters, then July's site is the place you need to be. And last, but most definitely not least, Response Centre 45 is where Trojie and Pads' missions are archived.

Hope you enjoy your stay here. Please deposit your sanity into the container offered to you by another Boarder; you won't be needing it here.

Welcome to the PPC! Here's another Sue-killing weapon. *hands over a special dagger* It comes from the Raven Armory.

Welcome to the PPC! Please deposit your sanity in the provided receptacle. *holds out bucket marked "Warg Fodder"* We don't have much of a use for it here. I've never met you, but I'm going to hug you anyhow- and here is the Unnatural Axe to aid you in your killing certain fics very dead. Enjoy!
-Mad Maudlin