Guess where I'm going to be assigning my Agents to.

Incidentally, this is the charge list for just ONE of those above fics:

Interim Charge List:
Both:
-Setting the story in the future for no reason (2030? Wha?)
-Writing incredibly clichéd romance and Twu Luv and 'magic vows'
-Writing Mary Sues
-Having an incredibly stupid title too: “Freedom Love, Till Death Never Do Us Part”... wha?
-Using the term 'zombie' - L4D's not using the Z-word here! It's the Infected all the way...
-Using Author's Notes to explain the plot
-Keeping up to date with events in an Infected town using the NEWSPAPERS. Zombie apocalypse, and they're still delivering NEWSPAPERS?
-Explaining things the reader will already know (Yes, we about the Infected types. We do not need your input. And how exactly would the advice of a sword-swinging Marty Stu actually help or apply anyone normal, anyway?)
-Claiming the Infected only come out at night (contradicts Canon)
-Missed capitalisations ('mercy hospital')
-Contradicting the Canon plotline (L4D does NOT take place in 2030, thank you)
-Contradicting it's own plotline (notably about where the Infection starts and spreads from).
-Trying to describe characters using their clothing.
-Witch howls attract Tanks. Um, no they don't. Hell, the Director specifically avoids sticking Tanks and Witches together!
-Tanks can NOT throw planes, thank you.
-The Smoker's tongue is not 'wet, slippery rope'.
-Accumulating a ...ing huge charge list from just under 6000 words (Annoys the Agents)
-Addendum the above: having enough charges on it's own to generate a charge list to use for charging other L4D fics. That's quite the achievement there, mate
-Having by and large good grammar and spelling... and still writing crap

Ms. Brenda Lightstar:
-Having a name that sounds like it's from the Star Wars continuum
-Addendum to the above: Having a very stupid name
-Surviving on your own for a month without getting Hunter'd
-”the horde doesn't give me too much of a problem” - she is so going to regret saying that.
-Surviving with just two pistols against the horde without a problem (ahem!)
-Addendum to the above: And then proving completely useless and having to be regularly rescued once her Twu Luv shows up
-Describing her boyfriend as 'her angel'
-Being physically incapable of living without said boyfriend
-Lying to said boyfriend about the origins of the Infected (only explanation that makes sense)
-Having 'pure black' eyes (what the crap? Is she infected too?)
-Makes Mr. Stoic Awesomeness smile only at her
-Being able to kill infected before her Supah Spechul Twu Luv can spot them
-Using the actual goddamn phrase 'one true love'
-Being unaware that Freedom is equipped to fight when he carries around a GIANT ...ING SWORD.
-Annoying the Agents (at least Freedom has some justification for being able to survive on his own)
-Being a Mary Sue

Mr Melodian Freedom:
-Being an Infected without becoming... y'know, a freakin' zombie
-Being a 'Spechul Infected'
-Combining all the Infected abilities with none of the drawbacks
-And in spite of the above, using a goddamn sword
-Killing a TANK with aforementioned goddamn sword in ONE swipe
-In addendum to the above, doing the same thing to a Witch
-In addendum to the above, doing the same thing to an AIRPLANE
-Being able to decapitate 10 infected a second (Yes, it actually says that)
-Being able to insta-kill Infected with his goddamn EYES.
-Claiming not to be an Infected to gain Twu Luv's trust. He is, and has stated as such
-Having the stupidest name ever
-Having the stupidest nickname ever
-Trying to create some sort of mysterious backstory with a mysterious government conspiracy and mysterious amnesia.
-Being a super-strong, angelic, 'aloof and lonely' fantasy boyfriend
-Trying to make himself a lust object (I'm getting some SERIOUS Twilight vibes here)
-Wearing white leather with a big sword like some sort of Final Fantasy character
-Being so awesome he emits white light
-Having multi-coloured eyes
-Having colour-changing eyes
-Being so awesome everyone is afwaid of him and he is all awwone. Aww, poor thing, NOT.
-Becoming as weak a sick puppy around his Twu Luv
-And then completely annihilating a Horde (complete with Tank and Witch) in spite of the above
-Being so awesome because of some freakin' vow.
-Giving advice on teamwork when he works alone
-Being willing to give his life for his Twu Luv despite 'not feeling the love I had yet though'
-Claiming 'by gut instinct' that the Poles will have less infected. This should be freakin' obvious what with it being really cold and uninhabited and that...
-Being able to withstand a Tank punch
-Being able to dodge multiple Tank punches
-Annoying the Agents
-Being a Marty Stu

I am going to enjoy PPC-ing this one.

*chugs the bottle and keels over sideways*