Subject: Re: MORE BLEEPKA! NOW!
Author:
Posted on: 2009-04-13 21:55:00 UTC
In fact... this is the same author as the other disturbing House fic...
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/916059/DreamsofSpike
Subject: Re: MORE BLEEPKA! NOW!
Author:
Posted on: 2009-04-13 21:55:00 UTC
In fact... this is the same author as the other disturbing House fic...
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/916059/DreamsofSpike
Did anyone have any idea there was so *much*? Christ, I've found 8 already! I can feel it starting to hurt my brain...
Are there any Agents assigned to dealing with L4D? If there aren't, would anyone mind particularly if I went for these?
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4706726/1/Unfamiliardream
(This one's actually hilarious. It has practically no ties to L4D, is MISSING AN ENTIRE CHAPTER, and apparently involves some sort of Satan possession... thing. Summary says it all, really: “this story is about a girl and a zombie attacks on holloween night this girl is weird but all this was a dream")
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4698249/1/DawnOfANewWorld">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4698249/1/DawnOfANewWorld
(Author seems unaware of the existence of the shift key...)
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4751507/1/HallsofTheDead">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4751507/1/HallsofTheDead
(Blocks of text with no attention to proper formatting, tons of spelling errors... and they're not even L4D zombies. They're Romero-style shambers! GRAAAH!)
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4932893/1/Idontscreech">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4932893/1/Idontscreech
(Another goddamn 'Infected are innocent!' story... 'why do the survivors hate us?' Correct answer: Because you try to EAT them. Suggested response: Feed OCs to *actual* infected, let them figure it out by themselves...)
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4793870/1/Left4DeadTheEnd">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4793870/1/Left4DeadTheEnd
(Apparently, you can jump and fall into an alley, only to break your *arm*... and you can then ignore that and run away. Erm, no.)
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4753745/1/GraveRun">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4753745/1/GraveRun
(Constant tense switches... and the entire thing is centred, making it really damn hard to read)
<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4918474/1/FreedomLoveTillDeathNeverDoUsPart">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4918474/1/FreedomLoveTillDeathNeverDoUs_Part
(Massive Marty Stu with all the abilities of each special infected with none of the drawbacks...)
AAAAAAAAAH! Someone get me Bleepka! Now!
What I want to know is what you can actually *do* with these fics. The Marty Stu one is a fairly obvious straight-forwards assassination, but take the first one:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4706726/1/Unfamiliar_dream
What would you actually *do* with that one? Try and break the Author Influence on the continuum and let the usual L4D horde rip things up? This looks like Department of WTF territory...
That's why PPC agents never retire - there is no end to the inflow of badfic. :(
Guess where I'm going to be assigning my Agents to.
Incidentally, this is the charge list for just ONE of those above fics:
Interim Charge List:
Both:
-Setting the story in the future for no reason (2030? Wha?)
-Writing incredibly clichéd romance and Twu Luv and 'magic vows'
-Writing Mary Sues
-Having an incredibly stupid title too: “Freedom Love, Till Death Never Do Us Part”... wha?
-Using the term 'zombie' - L4D's not using the Z-word here! It's the Infected all the way...
-Using Author's Notes to explain the plot
-Keeping up to date with events in an Infected town using the NEWSPAPERS. Zombie apocalypse, and they're still delivering NEWSPAPERS?
-Explaining things the reader will already know (Yes, we about the Infected types. We do not need your input. And how exactly would the advice of a sword-swinging Marty Stu actually help or apply anyone normal, anyway?)
-Claiming the Infected only come out at night (contradicts Canon)
-Missed capitalisations ('mercy hospital')
-Contradicting the Canon plotline (L4D does NOT take place in 2030, thank you)
-Contradicting it's own plotline (notably about where the Infection starts and spreads from).
-Trying to describe characters using their clothing.
-Witch howls attract Tanks. Um, no they don't. Hell, the Director specifically avoids sticking Tanks and Witches together!
-Tanks can NOT throw planes, thank you.
-The Smoker's tongue is not 'wet, slippery rope'.
-Accumulating a ...ing huge charge list from just under 6000 words (Annoys the Agents)
-Addendum the above: having enough charges on it's own to generate a charge list to use for charging other L4D fics. That's quite the achievement there, mate
-Having by and large good grammar and spelling... and still writing crap
Ms. Brenda Lightstar:
-Having a name that sounds like it's from the Star Wars continuum
-Addendum to the above: Having a very stupid name
-Surviving on your own for a month without getting Hunter'd
-”the horde doesn't give me too much of a problem” - she is so going to regret saying that.
-Surviving with just two pistols against the horde without a problem (ahem!)
-Addendum to the above: And then proving completely useless and having to be regularly rescued once her Twu Luv shows up
-Describing her boyfriend as 'her angel'
-Being physically incapable of living without said boyfriend
-Lying to said boyfriend about the origins of the Infected (only explanation that makes sense)
-Having 'pure black' eyes (what the crap? Is she infected too?)
-Makes Mr. Stoic Awesomeness smile only at her
-Being able to kill infected before her Supah Spechul Twu Luv can spot them
-Using the actual goddamn phrase 'one true love'
-Being unaware that Freedom is equipped to fight when he carries around a GIANT ...ING SWORD.
-Annoying the Agents (at least Freedom has some justification for being able to survive on his own)
-Being a Mary Sue
Mr Melodian Freedom:
-Being an Infected without becoming... y'know, a freakin' zombie
-Being a 'Spechul Infected'
-Combining all the Infected abilities with none of the drawbacks
-And in spite of the above, using a goddamn sword
-Killing a TANK with aforementioned goddamn sword in ONE swipe
-In addendum to the above, doing the same thing to a Witch
-In addendum to the above, doing the same thing to an AIRPLANE
-Being able to decapitate 10 infected a second (Yes, it actually says that)
-Being able to insta-kill Infected with his goddamn EYES.
-Claiming not to be an Infected to gain Twu Luv's trust. He is, and has stated as such
-Having the stupidest name ever
-Having the stupidest nickname ever
-Trying to create some sort of mysterious backstory with a mysterious government conspiracy and mysterious amnesia.
-Being a super-strong, angelic, 'aloof and lonely' fantasy boyfriend
-Trying to make himself a lust object (I'm getting some SERIOUS Twilight vibes here)
-Wearing white leather with a big sword like some sort of Final Fantasy character
-Being so awesome he emits white light
-Having multi-coloured eyes
-Having colour-changing eyes
-Being so awesome everyone is afwaid of him and he is all awwone. Aww, poor thing, NOT.
-Becoming as weak a sick puppy around his Twu Luv
-And then completely annihilating a Horde (complete with Tank and Witch) in spite of the above
-Being so awesome because of some freakin' vow.
-Giving advice on teamwork when he works alone
-Being willing to give his life for his Twu Luv despite 'not feeling the love I had yet though'
-Claiming 'by gut instinct' that the Poles will have less infected. This should be freakin' obvious what with it being really cold and uninhabited and that...
-Being able to withstand a Tank punch
-Being able to dodge multiple Tank punches
-Annoying the Agents
-Being a Marty Stu
I am going to enjoy PPC-ing this one.
Here. I kept some from the birthday party because I had to forget that House abuse fic, but you need it more than me.
*chugs the bottle and keels over sideways*
Suefic. Dreadful. Found on marysues LJ.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3077547/1/
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3499037/1/
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3215786/1/
Lulz. Mary Sues going to be sporked. Hard.
Going to spork first one. Or Watchmen badfic. Either.
Sue looks sporkable. Agents ready. Permission request is waited for.
*Rises from stupor*
*hands some of the Bleepka get*
Thanks. I'll keep some for my Agents for when they spork this fic. They'll need it.
Found series of BDSM Wilson/House fic. Latest installment here:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4969024/1/Relief
Bleepka is needed. Now.
In fact... this is the same author as the other disturbing House fic...
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/916059/DreamsofSpike