Welcome! Bleepolate is the nicer option to Bleepka, especially if you don't care for headaches and the like. Good to meet someone new, and please ignore the marbles rattling around!

*offers homemade oatmeal cookies* Thank you for sacrificing your sanity for the sake of others. Most of us can't tell up from down anymore. Don't worry, these cookies are the arsenic proof batch--I think...*goes to check*

Hiya! Welcome! I give you a coxcomb, which is a sort of silly hat.

Here, have a graduated cylinder and a mini-glomp from some fiery mini-Balrogs and mini-Dragons.

And I'd give you burn salves if I had them. x]

Welcome, welcome! Let me point you towards the List of Everything PPC at Livejournal: http://community.livejournal.com/the_ppc/20306.html

~Enelya

Trust me, they're useful.

Welcome! I suppose you don't need warnings about how crazy things are here, so I'll just get right down to competing with Trojie for recruition - the Department of Mary Sues could always use new people.

The others have already said or given you everything very important... except rabies. Beware of July; when you greet the next newbie, don't usurp her Link Giving authority. 'tis Dangerous - and yes, that capital was intended.

Bah, I ramble. Welcome! *glomps*

I gift you with an egg whisk! It's shiny, gold-plated, and whisks not only eggs but author wraiths and spambots! Use it for good and not evil.

Welcome to the insanity!

*shoves bleeprin and bleepka at you* Dunno why no one mentioned these yet...chances are you'll need 'em before long...

Welcome to the board! ^_^

BTW, will your Agents be stationed in a response center or a TARDIS?

*hands platter of lembas*

And may I say, as Recruitment Officer for the Department of Bad Slash, that we're always looking for new recruits?

-Trojie

The first is to smite Mary Sues with in the Flowers' name, the second in case you run into Lux. Not sure if she's still around/written with anymore (though I think she's one of the few TOS characters that is), but hey, better safe than sorry. Unless you like being jumped on by a nymphomaniac with no provocation, anyway. I'm pretty sure I know you from the same place PA does, so welcome! Hope you have fun here, and don't forget to get Permission before you run around with your own agents (though I'd advise being active for a month or so first so we get to know you better). ;)

We already know each other, but welcome to the board! I'm sure you'll fit right in...

I'm sorry, did that sound ominous? It wasn't meant to...

Here, have it. It's good for killing Sues and other threats, but please remember that deadly weapons are not to be pointed at allies or canons.

If you haven't visited the Wiki, then it would be informative for you to do so. The Original Series (not to be confused with Star Trek) is also recommended reading. Do it, or hS will set Kaitlyn on you.

If someone gives you a link to a Legendary Badfic (and they shouldn't, because it is generally a Very Bad Idea), do not follow it. They are brain-breaking, mostly NSFW and certain ones will instil such random psychoses as the fear of the word lav- *is muffled by nearby Boarder* Even the summaries can be brain-breaking.

Legendary Goodfic on the other hand, should be read and enjoyed by all.

Welcome, enjoy your stay and check your sanity at the door. You won't need such a thing here.