Subject: Welcome to the Board!
Author:
Posted on: 2008-08-02 13:40:00 UTC
That's alright, onions are actually quite useful. Sometimes better in recipes than all the sugar in the world.
Here, have a-- oh, wait.
Well, enjoy yourself on the Board then?
I figured I should introduce myself, so:
Hello! I'm Wandering Critic, WC for short, and I, um, wander and criticize. Specifically, I criticize badfic, sometimes very extensively — I'm somewhat notorious on FFN for writing critiques that are longer than the original story. I also have a website so I don't have to explain the proper use of the period to every lousy writer individually, and a rather widely ignored blog where I rant about Sues and badfic.
Let me see... I'm probably a lousy fit for the board culture here because I don't giggle, don't enjoy silliness all that much, take writing way too seriously, and have a generally crabby personality. Don't bother giving me stuff beginning with "P" because I'll just hold a virtual yard sale and price, peddle, and profit from it. Also, I don't layer what I say in a dozen disclaimers like "this is just my opinion, but..." or "I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings..." and tend to have little respect for anyone who would disintegrate into a sobbing pile of hurt feelings if such phrases were omitted. Oh, and I believe that an opinion most certainly can be wrong: consider the number of people who hold the opinion that capital letters, punctuation, and paragraphs are unnecessary in their fanfic writing. So now you know the worst about me.
Aside from having the personality of a wood rasp, I try to be useful, I do have a sense of humor (it just runs to really bad puns or jokes so subtle that nobody gets them), I write fanfic (though not under any name that could be connected to this identity), and I've been a PPC fan for a couple of years. It's hard to say what fandoms I prefer because I'll snark any badfic that holds still long enough (to the point of watching hours of TV shows I'd never seen before to get the background for a good sporking), but in general I lean towards classic fantasy, hard SF, military themes in general, and I passionately hate vampires. I'm a canon purist, I overwhelmingly prefer gen, and I'm still pretty much a literary (rather than media) fan. I'll shovel through mountains of suck to find one single gem of a story, because it's so worth it when you find one of the good ones. Aside from proper writing and fact-checking, I take very little seriously, particularly not myself.
Anyway, that's me, warts and all, for whatever that's worth.
But...um...yeah. Hey! *enjoys giving gifts far too much* Lessee, um, a nicely sharp and pointy dagger, a scarf made of Ypur fur, a green and silver paper crane, and a box of matches.
Everyone else has said all that really needs to be said, so I'm just offering my own hi. *waves*
Lovely to meet you. Here, have a bag of pebbles to throw at Sues and a Random Shiny Object to gaze at.
Nice to have you here.
Somehow I knew there was going to be a plover in my future. I suppose I'll give it to my agents, when they make their appearance, and they can let it run around and peck at their console in quest of small crustaceans.
Um, this would be one of the smaller species, right? Maybe a cute little spotted sandpiper? Killdeer are handsome and all, but man, they're noisy.
Ehh, don't worry about the personality fit thing - as long as you don't post links to porn where everyone can see them, it's fine by me.
Are there fanwriters whose work you can recommend? I haven't found very many people, but I'm probably looking in the wrong places [read: The Pit].
Just have fun and...stuff. Yeah. *wanders off, trying to think of a better closing sentence*
Crabby personalities are fine and it's nice how straight forward you are about it. Welcome to the PPC.
That's alright, onions are actually quite useful. Sometimes better in recipes than all the sugar in the world.
Here, have a-- oh, wait.
Well, enjoy yourself on the Board then?
After going through your website (Well, the FAQ, anyway. I don't actually feel the need to read up on all the basic rules of English), as well as the first three (or four?) entries on your blog, I have to say I'm pretty glad you came here, because you seem like a pretty cool person.
And I think leaving scathing/blunt reviews on stories is actually a lot better than just -killing- them or sporking them or MSTing them without warning. If you leave a crit, telling them exactly what's wrong with their story, it actually gives them the chance to fix the problems, and redeem themselves. Just laughing about it behind their backs, and sporking it as though they were writing purely out of malice, always seems a bit... nasty.
There's actually a lot more I'd like to say to you, but I doubt my boss will be impressed with "internets" as an excuse for being half an hour late. I look forward to seeing you around here.
Man, I haven't done that in ages. Welcome to the board, have a pickled pepper.
Rare as zircons is good genfic. I'm also more into print-media fandoms than TV or movies, simply because the books are more accessable.
*does so* Sell the ice if you wish; I'm not quite sure who would want to buy virtual half-melted ice but... *shrugs*
Hi, welcome, greetings, hello and good day to you. Your blog is quite interesting, I must say.
*hiffs lembas and scuttles to safety*
Hello, I'm Trojie, I give people lembas and snark at their badly written sexual fantasies involving Elves. I'm guessing by the quality of grammar in this post that I'm not likely to be hammering on your door any time soon :P
Contrary to popular opinion, the Board isn't a hedonistic cesspit of Elf porn (even exquisitely punctuated Elf porn) and giggling. I should say that taking writing seriously is probably enough to fit you in with the general misfittery around here. So, welcome!
Accept that you'll end up in a pile of silly welcoming objects (usually given to disguise the fact that most people just post 'er, hi, I'm new, I hate badfic too' and it's hard to reply to that, really), and join in the fun, snarking, sporking, as much silliness as you can stand, oh, and if you have any knowledge of animation, please email me at trojanhorseshadowfax AT gmail DOT com
- Trojie, sporker of bad slash and currently running round trying to organise bits and pieces for the PPC Animated Movie - yes more silliness but hopefully some fun as well. And a chance to kill Sues visually.
... Okay, maybe not. But if you feel like having a Transdimensional Pocket Knife, it's here. Sell it if you like.
I'd give you a nice chirpy "Welcome! Lovely to meet you!" sort of greeting, but I have the feeling you might shoot me with Ansela's sniper rifle. Suffice it to say that you are welcome, bubbly or not, and I, too, much prefer a well-thought critique to gushing praises. My feelings aren't hurt easily, though I tend to use 'disclaimers' (as you call them) to cushion the blow. If I hurt feelings, I feel bad myself. *shrugs* 'tis personal taste.
In any case, I look forward to seeing your sense of humour, and I imagine your PPC missions (if and when you choose to ask Permission) will be very... shall we say "vigilant"? *grin*
Welcome. Please don't shoot.
Here--I gift you with an egg whisk. It's shiny, gold-plated, and, hey, it whisks eggs! Use it for good and not evil.
You may get many things beginning with "P"--a plover is a common newbie gift, as is a poke. But ketchup begins with "K," so I guess I'm safe.
I recognize you! Welcome to the Board!
I gift you with psychic paper, even though it has a lot of "p"s, because it doesn't sound like it begins with a p and I care not if you sell it. It's useful stuff, though, you should keep it for yourself.
And long, unabashed critiques are better than "omg i luv it" or "omg taht sux". So no worries.
Panding to your petition, I'll personally provide painful alliteration but nothing else.
Besides, my puns are horrible enough they'd make you wander away again and besides that, Ansela already gave you the wiki link.
Here, have a Sniper Rifle. Good for taking out Sues at a distance.
Have you visited the Wiki yet? If you haven't, you'll find it a good resource for all your PPC needs. The FAQ is also helpful.
Please, read The Original Series (not to be confused with Star Trek) if you haven't already. The website maintained by hS is also good reading.
Also, do not read any of the Legendary Badfic unless you are well prepared. Even the summaries have been known to cause irreparable damage to people's brains.
Come in, leave your sanity at the door (you won't need it here) and be yourself. We're hardy souls who can take criticism, and we don't bite, normally.
You'll need them once you meet Luxury or Maeluwien, trust me.
Thanks for the welcome. The psychic paper and the sniper rifle seem useful. I've read quite a few of TOS in the past, and I'm now enjoying many delightful moments browsing the wiki. I never dreamed there were quite so many Flowers.
No worries about the legendary badfic. I've not only survived quite a few of the ones listed, but I've read through The Eye of Argon in one sitting, with no ... accidents (though I doubt I could safely read it aloud). Writing has to be very, very good to creep me out or otherwise squick me; I just laugh uproariously at the bad stuff.
Oh, one thing I left out of my intro: Due to a traumatic incident at an anime con, I have an auditory allergy to squeeing. This may explain a lot about why I took up sporking as a hobby.
Here, have some earplugs for the next time someone "squees" within your earshot.
You sound like an interesting sort of person! Welcome!