But...um...yeah. Hey! *enjoys giving gifts far too much* Lessee, um, a nicely sharp and pointy dagger, a scarf made of Ypur fur, a green and silver paper crane, and a box of matches.

Everyone else has said all that really needs to be said, so I'm just offering my own hi. *waves*

Lovely to meet you. Here, have a bag of pebbles to throw at Sues and a Random Shiny Object to gaze at.

Nice to have you here.

Ehh, don't worry about the personality fit thing - as long as you don't post links to porn where everyone can see them, it's fine by me.

Are there fanwriters whose work you can recommend? I haven't found very many people, but I'm probably looking in the wrong places [read: The Pit].

Just have fun and...stuff. Yeah. *wanders off, trying to think of a better closing sentence*

Crabby personalities are fine and it's nice how straight forward you are about it. Welcome to the PPC.

That's alright, onions are actually quite useful. Sometimes better in recipes than all the sugar in the world.

Here, have a-- oh, wait.

Well, enjoy yourself on the Board then?

Man, I haven't done that in ages. Welcome to the board, have a pickled pepper.

Rare as zircons is good genfic. I'm also more into print-media fandoms than TV or movies, simply because the books are more accessable.

*does so* Sell the ice if you wish; I'm not quite sure who would want to buy virtual half-melted ice but... *shrugs*

Hi, welcome, greetings, hello and good day to you. Your blog is quite interesting, I must say.

*hiffs lembas and scuttles to safety*

Hello, I'm Trojie, I give people lembas and snark at their badly written sexual fantasies involving Elves. I'm guessing by the quality of grammar in this post that I'm not likely to be hammering on your door any time soon :P

Contrary to popular opinion, the Board isn't a hedonistic cesspit of Elf porn (even exquisitely punctuated Elf porn) and giggling. I should say that taking writing seriously is probably enough to fit you in with the general misfittery around here. So, welcome!

Accept that you'll end up in a pile of silly welcoming objects (usually given to disguise the fact that most people just post 'er, hi, I'm new, I hate badfic too' and it's hard to reply to that, really), and join in the fun, snarking, sporking, as much silliness as you can stand, oh, and if you have any knowledge of animation, please email me at trojanhorseshadowfax AT gmail DOT com

- Trojie, sporker of bad slash and currently running round trying to organise bits and pieces for the PPC Animated Movie - yes more silliness but hopefully some fun as well. And a chance to kill Sues visually.

... Okay, maybe not. But if you feel like having a Transdimensional Pocket Knife, it's here. Sell it if you like.

I'd give you a nice chirpy "Welcome! Lovely to meet you!" sort of greeting, but I have the feeling you might shoot me with Ansela's sniper rifle. Suffice it to say that you are welcome, bubbly or not, and I, too, much prefer a well-thought critique to gushing praises. My feelings aren't hurt easily, though I tend to use 'disclaimers' (as you call them) to cushion the blow. If I hurt feelings, I feel bad myself. *shrugs* 'tis personal taste.

In any case, I look forward to seeing your sense of humour, and I imagine your PPC missions (if and when you choose to ask Permission) will be very... shall we say "vigilant"? *grin*

Welcome. Please don't shoot.

Here--I gift you with an egg whisk. It's shiny, gold-plated, and, hey, it whisks eggs! Use it for good and not evil.

You may get many things beginning with "P"--a plover is a common newbie gift, as is a poke. But ketchup begins with "K," so I guess I'm safe.

I recognize you! Welcome to the Board!

I gift you with psychic paper, even though it has a lot of "p"s, because it doesn't sound like it begins with a p and I care not if you sell it. It's useful stuff, though, you should keep it for yourself.
And long, unabashed critiques are better than "omg i luv it" or "omg taht sux". So no worries.

Panding to your petition, I'll personally provide painful alliteration but nothing else.

Besides, my puns are horrible enough they'd make you wander away again and besides that, Ansela already gave you the wiki link.

Here, have a Sniper Rifle. Good for taking out Sues at a distance.

Have you visited the Wiki yet? If you haven't, you'll find it a good resource for all your PPC needs. The FAQ is also helpful.

Please, read The Original Series (not to be confused with Star Trek) if you haven't already. The website maintained by hS is also good reading.

Also, do not read any of the Legendary Badfic unless you are well prepared. Even the summaries have been known to cause irreparable damage to people's brains.

Come in, leave your sanity at the door (you won't need it here) and be yourself. We're hardy souls who can take criticism, and we don't bite, normally.