Subject: Please kill me.
Author:
Posted on: 2014-05-04 00:57:00 UTC
Actually, no, please let Rina kill this. I need some tylenol or something. (Just kidding about the Rina thing. You found it, so you get dibs.)
I weep for the future of humanity.
Found this a couple of days ago and finally started to read it.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9483920/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Tails-of-Change
Where Harry has 2 Animagus forms, the Order are formed up a year before Voldemort comes back, Tonks is de-aged by two years so that Harry can recognize her after hearing her say one sentence (whilst invisible) and Magic Marriage Bonds form after a touch. And I'm still less than half-way through the 6 chapters currently up.
It is rated M, however there aren't any M-rated scenes in it at the moment.
Were you looking for badfic that involved dragons, possibly from the How to Train Your Dragon fandom? I ran across one the other day, that I'll be honest and say I didn't read, because the summary was so bad. But it definitely involved dragons. I won't post a link unless someone says they want it, as it was rated NC-17, I think. Maybe just M. I'm not sure if that is the sort of fic you'd even be interested in at all. I just saw 'Gah! gouge my eyes out with a spork and pour in brain bleach!' summary and thought you might be looking for dragon based fics to kill.
You can e-mail me if you don't want to post it here: neshomeh (dot) soul (at) gmail (dot) com.
May or may not go after it, though, as you say. I've got a couple PotO fics on my list now, and I don't want to muddy the departmental waters if we're looking at bad slash or something. Is it one of those Hiccup/Human!Toothless things? That's such a weird concept to me. O.o
~Neshomeh
In the badfic, I was fairly sure it's character possession, but it's looking more like all out replacement. The only thing is, I'm not entirely certain. Is it just a judgement call?
I'm about halfway through the mission, but I need to know in case I need to go back and have Rina and Randa rescue the canon Harry.
I had one mission where I was just certain that that Holmes and Watson had been replaced. I was writing it that way and the agents were speaking that way. Then as I went through the story, I realized that there were times when un-Sue-like things happened to the characters. A lot of Sue type things, too, but some things that Sue would not normally tolerate at all. I changed the way it ended to say that the characters were suffering character rupture instead of being replacements.
The mission could have been legitimately written with them as replacements (I think I ended up saying they were 94 point something and 99.99% OOC). It was purely a judgment call.
Which way makes for a more interesting story? Will your agents have to make a turn around? There was a character in my story who was rather disappointed he didn't get to kill them. It did take a bit longer to have the agents change direction. It sounds like it would take longer for your agents as well, since they'd then have to go find the canon character.
Taking a bit longer can be good or bad. My story ended up being over the post limit on LJ and had to be broken up into two sections. Some people do not like to read long missions. (Personally I enjoy long stories--missions and fanfics--so I tend to find that concept a bit foreign, but I understand that some people read slower than I do or just have more things pressing on their time), so that would be bad. It could give you space to come up with something really interesting or some nice characterization, though, so that would be good.
Maybe look for places that the Harry in the badfic doesn't act like a Stu, and see if those are significant enough to you, to justify in your mind that he is not a replacement. You might have to use alternatives to a CAD though, if they are going to be in the 85%+ OOC range. They tend to explode above that. OK, I'll quit rambling at you now. Good luck on your mission!
I would say it's still a Possession and not a full on Replacement just yet.
Halfway through the mission??? I personally don't think the stories ready to be sporked just quite yet, I would say hold back and wait a little while, at least until this third person in the bond is revealed, for all we know it could be a Mary Sue pretending to be Voldemort's daughter.
If it does turn into a Replacement you can always search for the canon Harry at the end.
I'll wait to finish it off until the third person is revealed, but once she is, I'll let the killing begin.
I'm getting so sick of Harry and Tonks calling each other 'my beloved'. I hope the author posts again soon. >_
I'll wait to finish it off until the third person is revealed, but once she is, I'll let the killing begin.
I'm getting so sick of Harry and Tonks calling each other 'my beloved'. I hope the author posts again soon. >_
Judging by the main characters bit I'd guess the third person is likely to be either Fleur or Tracey, I'd be half willing to bet on Fleur so Harry can gain some Veela like powers.
Oh and I'm keeping an eye on a couple of T-rated HP fics, I haven't found enough in them that warrents a sporking quite yet, but you'll know when I do.
On a related note, I found a real stinker of a pony fic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10254146/1/Butterfly-rose-thr-pony-profecy
...I hope to all the Princesses (and Discord) she's trolling us, because if she's not, that's just pathetic. SPaG from the depths of hell, main character blatantly usurping Twilight's place, ranty author's note begging for reviews, probably more offenses I didn't have the heart to uncover.
Someday fanfic websites will gain "quality control" to remove garbage like this or prevent it from being approved in the first place. Hopefully. Right after we start investing in clean energy.
It... it reads very similarly to My Immortal, but I... I just... I don't...
*crawls under her bed and hides*
SPaG is good enough, except for some unnecessary caps and flying commas, but a kitsune? Just AAAAAUGH. Please, somebody, PPC this.
Haven't read any further than the second chapter (I lost it when Harry got the Marauders-communication thing). What are the so-called "Magic Marriage Bonds" supposed to do? I'm cringing in advance.
I got about to the dream where Harry "absorbed" the animals. I can't go on. Please somebody fix this. MAKE IT GO AWAY. *clutches head in pain*
Like I said below, I'm already at work on it. This one made me so angry... so I'm going to make it funny! I'm excited for my first Stu-exorcism. :D I started at it last night and am already like halfway through with it.
Basically, the marriage bonds are a way for Harry to also become a Metamorphmagus- but not until he and Tonks consummate the marriage. And there's going to be a third witch in the marriage. AND Harry is now addressed as 'Lord Potter'. AND he's apparently Ravenclaw's heir on his mother's side, because LOGIC!
The best part is that none of Harry's friends are particularly surprised by the news that he's been magically married. They just smile and say, "Only you, Harry..."
ALL. MY. WHAT.
...one of my fellow snarkers at the Library of the Damned found one heck of a turd involving HP. The fun part?
It's a crossover with the Alien/Predator universe.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7601976/1/The-Animagus-Predator
The sins of this one? Harry inherits nearly three fourths of Hogwarts, gets more wealth than all of friggin' Wall Street just from inheritance money, becomes a wannabe Predator, and then regurgitates Aliens Vs. Predator because reasons.
Oh, and there's enough costume porn to make Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way blush.
Actually, no, please let Rina kill this. I need some tylenol or something. (Just kidding about the Rina thing. You found it, so you get dibs.)
I weep for the future of humanity.
I've already got claim to two stories besides the two missions I'm working on at the moment. And considering I've recently found out that one of those stories is now a series...
I've got enough to keep me busy for a long time.
Thank you, thank you so much! This made me so mad, my brother asked me if I had a stomachache because I was apparently making the most bizarre faces...
Hmm, my first Stu exorcism. Should be interesting. Unless it turns out to be character replacement, but that's still a first.
I tried. But honestly, I think this needs to be PPCed. 2 Animagus forms, and both magical creatures? Uh, no. Magic Marriage Bonds? Uh, no. Harry x Tonks? Uh, what about Lupin? I don't exactly care about slashes… usually… but….
I wasn't finding this fic completely bad for an AU, so I critted it to his face.
Basically points of confusion, bits that made things too easy, (though I didn't notice that the animagus drought could be made with the stuff Harry had on-hand,) the permissiveness of the adults...
I did say that his forms were too cool.
At chapter 3, I told him that the concepts could be fun if split into several different fics.
From behind enemy lines I bring you a badfic dump starting with LoTR.
http://www.quotev.com/story/4626105/Heart-Of-Fire/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4522135/To-kiss-or-to-Kill-That-is-the-Question/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4726368/Winter/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4653027/The-10th-Member/
http://www.quotev.com/story/3021641/The-Angel-Kili-Love-Story/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4341687/The-Wandering-Blue-Wizard/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4548414/Arrow-Through-the-Heart-Legolas-Love-Story/
http://www.quotev.com/story/4262848/Better-Than-A-Dream-LOTR-Legolas-Love-Story/
Most of these I have only read the summary.
The Emperor Protects!
I'm just imagining siccing my Agents on it and Christianne cracking Hamlet jokes throughout the mission, just because of the title.
To spork or not to spork, that is the question -
whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
the Sues and authors of outrageous fiction,
or to take arms against this Sue of troubles
and by opposing end them...
To kill, to purge--<br>No more--and by that purging say we end<br>The heartache and thousand unnatural shocks<br>Badfic is heir to. 'Tis a consummation<br>Devoutly to be wished. To kill, to purge;<br>To purge, perchance be flamed. Ay, there's the rub,<br>For in that purge of life, what flames may come<br>When we have shuffled off this fanfic coil<br>Must give us pause. There's the respect<br>That makes calamity of our career.<br>For who would bear the whips and scorns of trolls,<br>The Suethor's wrong, the fangirl's "Ur so meen!",<br>The pangs of frightful SPaG, the plot's delay,<br>The insolence of fanbrats, and the spurns<br>Characters merit of th' unworthy take<br>When she herself might her sanity make<br>With a bare Bleeprin?<br><br>(I've probably screwed up the entire original meaning of the monologue, but whatever.)
...suicide, I think changing it in this manner would fit the situation better.
If I didn't already have a three-fic series claimed and waiting for my current mission to finish, I'd grab The Wandering Blue Wizard.
"A woman is never late, she arrives prissily when she means to."
Best typo ever.
I almost want to claim the Arrow through the heart one after reading just the first sentence.
Poor Legolas must have a permanently-reserved bed in FicPsych.
All the markings of the failed fantasy fulfillment are here. And the M-Rating, maybe it is because of something that will come up in later chapters.
Are you planning on doing a mission for this?