Subject: Nice work!
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Posted on: 2014-04-04 18:46:00 UTC

Various people have already mentioned the things I like most about it—the meta, the agents exploring their Toonish forms, the parallel between the choices offered in the game and Vania's decision at the end, the way Millie redeems herself by giving the Heart back. All very enjoyable. ^_^ I remember thinking Doc should have known better than to go investigate the bomb when it didn't go off, because cartoon bombs always wait to go off until the person who set them comes to see why they haven't, but it still made a good gag.

I was a little sad that they threw away the extra paintbrush, though. Probably a wise decision on the agents' part, but taking Sue artifacts as souvenirs is a fine old PPC tradition! I can't help but feel they missed an opportunity for some fun in HQ, or at least some good bartering.

Also, the Poison Joke problem didn't get resolved. Is that something that'll happen in the next interlude?

I caught a couple technical errors:

* "Once she saw Mickey, the two characters introduced each other" - Did you mean "introduced themselves"? Otherwise, Millie is introducing Mickey and vice versa, which doesn't make much sense. I wouldn't put it past the badfic, but I'd think such an odd thing would warrant full inclusion in the mission rather than glossing over it. {= )

* "[Um. No. We’re technically toons right now, thanks to the disguise generator.] She gave a meek grin. [We would have melted, too.]" - The underline continues between the two bits of speech, and that seems to be anomalous.

BTW, I think the argument challenge was probably one of hS's writing challenges. VM wrote a couple of Cafeteria stories for the same one, as I recall.

~Neshomeh

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