Subject: Prepare for all-out war...
Author:
Posted on: 2014-04-01 19:47:00 UTC

My current non-agent is caught full in the face by the kitten. He pulls the nervous wreck of an adorable cat off of his face, and sets it gently on the floor. Then he presses one of the numerous Buttons of Doom on his console, and summons…

Kibbles! The Amazing Anti-Gravity Cat!

Kibbles is an ordinary grumpy cat, who, in the series of Buttered Cat experiments, ended up being able to float. She is very bad tempered, and will happily claw any person she can get to. Since she floats at head-level, watch out!

Fortunately for the next poster, Kibbles only floats at the speed of several dozen inches a minute. You have plenty of time to get out of the way.

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