Subject: Don't throw kitties!
Author:
Posted on: 2014-04-01 09:07:00 UTC
Coolla yelps as she's hit and shot down by a kitten bigger than she is.
The kitten then proceeds to pick her up and carry her away.
"I'm not a mouse! Good kitty, let me down... Someone please help me!"
*My currently non-canon agent throws a kitten at nearest poster's agent*
If you're allergic to adorableness duck and cover!
The currently non-canon agent heard yowling and yelling coming for behind a strange black door. She shook her head, but kept walking. Just another day at HQ
Unbeknownst to the currently non-canon agent, the nms & nms bearing Kibbles the Amazing Floating Cat was slowly puttering after her...
To pick up a pin she dropped. She ( Now hereby referred to as Seyche ). Would have been devasted if she lost it. Suddenly there was a loud boom that caused her to look up. Her partner- a zombie killer named Murder- was holding the charred remains of a small animal. She turned around slowly and headed toward the reaserch room. It was better not to ask questions with Murder.
My current non-agent is caught full in the face by the kitten. He pulls the nervous wreck of an adorable cat off of his face, and sets it gently on the floor. Then he presses one of the numerous Buttons of Doom on his console, and summons…
Kibbles! The Amazing Anti-Gravity Cat!
Kibbles is an ordinary grumpy cat, who, in the series of Buttered Cat experiments, ended up being able to float. She is very bad tempered, and will happily claw any person she can get to. Since she floats at head-level, watch out!
Fortunately for the next poster, Kibbles only floats at the speed of several dozen inches a minute. You have plenty of time to get out of the way.
*Runs toward Kibbles in stupid excitement.*
Kibbles hates people! She'll try to claw your face off! … Or maybe it's just my intern she hates, I can't tell. But in any case:
BEWARE. You have been warned...
*Pauses.* But - but she's so fluffy! *Cautiously reaches towards Kibbles. My kitten hisses at the other cat.*
Please, Snowy! Don't-
*Interrupted by a horrible yowling noise, the sort that only a cat in the most extremes of pain and rage can make.*
…I'm too late…
Ooh, that had to hurt. Please beware the floating cat, everybody...
Sigma catches the kitten carefully and cuddles it. "Awww, poor kitty!" she croons, then fixes a laser-eyed glare at the agent who started throwing kittens.
Meanwhile, the mini-Mogget riding on Sigma's shoulder (a dark grey tabby called abhorsen), twitches her tail disapprovingly and stands up.
Sigma turns her head to the mini and smiles. "Good idea, abhorsen! Fire at will!"
With a yowl, abhorsen launches herself at the offending agent, claws unsheathed to take venegeance in the name of all that is kitten!
Coolla yelps as she's hit and shot down by a kitten bigger than she is.
The kitten then proceeds to pick her up and carry her away.
"I'm not a mouse! Good kitty, let me down... Someone please help me!"
A tall, dark-haired wearing an Oto headband frees Coolla from the kitten.
She examines the mini-agent casually, then sticks her in her pocket and goes looking for someone who will know what to do with her.
I do not have permission yet, so Akiko has not appeared in any missions, and probably won't for a while.
Suddenly, Akiko is surrounded by a band of almost a dozen mini-Agents, a few holding miniaturized versions of their signature weapon(MakesThings had to make do with menacingly brandishing a tiny CAD). The leader of the group, a human-derived female mini-Agent, stepped forward, pointing meaningfully at the ground as the rest of her group converged on Akiko. The message was clear: Put the mini down. Now.
Akiko uses a replacement technique, leaving behind one of those bizarrely readily available logs. She puts Coolla down, gives her a look that promises further investigation into the matter, and leaves.
Wow, a mini-Agent of an already-tiny person. No wonder a kitten can move her without effort. She's welcome to join the rest of the mini-Agent troupe after the cat puts her down.
My far-from-canon agent pulls a kitten out of a convenient plothole (because no one has mentioned where all these kittens are coming from) and places it on her head. Then, she acquires a second kitten and throws it at y2k890's unnamed non-canon agent.
Not allergic to adorableness, but I've got a kitten on my head. Which is awesome.
"What is the big bad unnamed agent doing to you? I should have them charged for animal cruelty!" She paused. "Unless you're a Cute Animal Friend. Are you a Cute Animal Friend?"
"Cute Animal Friends do not deserve such treatment, either," Eledhwen points out. She reaches out to stroke the kitten lightly by the scruff.
Christianne grins. "Can we keep it?"
Eledhwen frowns. "No."
FZZZAM!
"Notary, what was that noise?"
"Thank Rassilon you've come! Wobbles, you saw the whole thing, right? The agent threw an object at me and I was obliged to defend myself from it by blasting it to atoms-"
"Oh, Notary, you - you shot a kitten?"
"Is that what it was? Hm. Why do our colleagues throw animals at people? Well, other animals, the only exclusion being myself and any other Time Lords in residence."
"No! No, we are not doing that dance! You shot a kitten!"
"Mrowww."
"... What was that?"
"Iunno - oh. Huh. Um, Notary, I... I don't know how to say this but... I think this kitten is staserproof."
"I see. I shall requisition further small arms for more in-depth testing-"
"Nuh-uh! I'mma name you Doctor Fuzzleton! You're gonna be on TV with all the boys and girls, aren't you, Doctor Fuzzleton? Whozza good lickle theoretical physicist den. Izzums? Izzums?"
"I despair of you and your entire species, clown woman."
Or more accurately...
Apollo ducked, a smile on his face as he did so, for behind him, stood Kelly. Undeterred by the incoming kitten, she let loose an animal-projectile of her own, a high pitched "Hello" could be heard from it as it flew towards the non-canon agent.
Rina barely managed to intercept the kitten mid-throw before it hit the unnamed agent. She glared at Apollo.
"Seriously?" she huffed. "I cannot believe you people!" She rubbed the kitten's soft ears. "Don't worry, I've got you. I'm going to take you back to the RC and you can sleep on my bunk and I'll call you Mr. Fluffeh-"
"No, you don't," Randa said. "I told you, I'm allergic to cats."
"You're allergic to spiders, too, but you let me keep Mcgonagoll-"
"No."
Rina sighed and tossed the kitten back at Apollo. "Go nuts."
Mr. Fluffeh happily proceeded to try to tear Apollo's hair out in revenge for being used as a projectile.
The faceless agent dodged to the side, "Your attack is too slow," he nonchalantly said as he threw a puppy into the hallway.
Ari yelped as a kitten hit her full in the chest. "Wow, ok." She stumbled backwards, biting back a yelp as her leg gave out under her. "Augh..." She glared ineffectively at the kitten, who had dug claws into her (thankfully thick) clothes.
“Those kittens are for the birds!” Des said between sneezes. (Achoo!)
He looked around. There were cats everywhere in what was scant moments ago a busy if generic corridor. Agents were throwing kittens, agents were cuddling kittens, minis were threatening agents, and he seemed to recognise one of the agents.
“Oh, hello there. Achoo!”
Des crouched near Ari, tilting his head. “I think we've met?”
Rina gathers up all the kittens that fly her way and cuddles them.
"Don't worry, sweeties! I won't throw you!"
She holds a kitten to her chest and glares at the unnamed agent.
;P
Lilly cackled as she temporarily made herself unsolid, the kitten going right through her and straight into Annie.
Annie hissed at Lilly, but scooped up the yowling creature and starting cooing at it, much to her partner's amusement.
Your cat scratch me! Come here you annoying cat, the wrath of Dark Lord Aakmal is not easily tempered by your inexhaustible cuteness!
Agent!Des isn't allergic to adorableness. He is, however, allergic to cats. So he sneezes. And curses. "Have you lost your mind?"