Despite being the start of NaNoWriMo my writing has slowed to a stop in that area (after only 2,000 words as well), while I have turned my attention back towards Permission. Working on the advice from Phobos in my previous attempt, I know I have a lot of commas missing in my writing sample but for the life of me I can't work out where to insert more (there are a couple of other problems but that's the main one).

Storme Hawk